Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 138874 times)

Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1005 on: January 11, 2024, 03:27:04 AM »
I met a man who was wearing a belt made out of watches.
It was a waist of time.
"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1006 on: January 16, 2024, 01:27:16 AM »
I recently found a book called Just My Typo; a compilation of howlers of various kinds. Among them were examples of articles that suddenly switched topic by accident. I offer this one.

So the congregation decided on a European trip for their beloved pastor, and on Saturday made him acquainted with the delightful fact. Accompanying the report of the committee was a nicely-filled purse, which was placed at the disposal of the pastor, who, after thanking them, made a turn down South Main Street as far as Planet, then up Planet to Benefit Street, where he was caught by some boys, who tied a pan to his tail. Away he went again, up Benefit Street and down College, at the foot of which he was shot by a policeman.
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dmeck7755

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1007 on: January 16, 2024, 05:00:45 PM »
I recently found a book called Just My Typo; a compilation of howlers of various kinds. Among them were examples of articles that suddenly switched topic by accident. I offer this one.

So the congregation decided on a European trip for their beloved pastor, and on Saturday made him acquainted with the delightful fact. Accompanying the report of the committee was a nicely-filled purse, which was placed at the disposal of the pastor, who, after thanking them, made a turn down South Main Street as far as Planet, then up Planet to Benefit Street, where he was caught by some boys, who tied a pan to his tail. Away he went again, up Benefit Street and down College, at the foot of which he was shot by a policeman.


Not to mention one mighty big run-on sentence
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1008 on: January 18, 2024, 06:53:52 PM »
From a recent Skype exchange...

Other Poster: I just found out that there is a museum by the name Dracula Experience Ltd in Newburyport. Maybe they have some garlic?

Me: Mark, I thought the Dracula Experience Ltd was a stake house.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2024, 03:05:29 AM by Yastreb »
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1009 on: January 23, 2024, 07:38:47 AM »
Mark: I thought the Dracula Experience Ltd was a stake house.
I wonder whether "everything sucked!" would be considered a positive review?
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Groupoid

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1010 on: January 27, 2024, 04:41:14 PM »
A nickname for the Madsen siblings:
Spoiler: show
The M&M's
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1011 on: January 28, 2024, 05:09:23 AM »
A nickname for the Madsen siblings:
Spoiler: show
The M&M's

Spoiler: show

Colorful mannerisms on the outside, totally nuts on the inside? :V
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1012 on: February 15, 2024, 10:36:57 PM »
While on YouTube I chanced on a scene from one of the films in the Equalizer franchise, in which the titular character McCall (Denzel Washington) is quietly reading a book in a diner when a gunman threatens him. McCall knocks out the gunman... using the book.

I posted this comment: "I'm imagining McCall's review of the book afterwards: "Powerful, hard-hitting... I couldn't put it down.""
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1013 on: February 17, 2024, 12:24:14 AM »
While on YouTube I chanced on a scene from one of the films in the Equalizer franchise, in which the titular character McCall (Denzel Washington) is quietly reading a book in a diner when a gunman threatens him. McCall knocks out the gunman... using the book.

I posted this comment: "I'm imagining McCall's review of the book afterwards: "Powerful, hard-hitting... I couldn't put it down.""


hahahaha love it "Really hits you where you live", does it?  (I don't know the movies, so I don't where the book impacted.) 
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Róisín

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1014 on: March 07, 2024, 03:09:11 AM »
What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?
“Sorry, my fault!”.
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1015 on: March 07, 2024, 06:01:42 AM »
San Andreas looked down upon the ruins of San Francisco and said, "It isn't my fault!"
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Buteo

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1016 on: March 07, 2024, 01:47:40 PM »
That's what they always say, isn't it?

The usual fault line...

dmeck7755

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1017 on: March 28, 2024, 12:20:28 PM »
A man's boss falls ill and passes away.
He goes to the funeral, kneels down in front of the coffin
and says, "Who's thinking outside of the box now Carl?"
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1018 on: April 06, 2024, 09:28:55 AM »
Some more names for imaginary places...

Arms Reach
Dockofthe Bay
Gimme Moor
Ohsaycanyou Sea
Upside Downs
Wholelot Moor
Youshallnot Pass
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Buteo

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1019 on: April 07, 2024, 01:18:21 AM »
Flyingdis Mount
Nowlive Stream
Dirty Pool
Timeto Rock
Holdemat Bay
Notgonna Cave