Bad jokes thread

[wavewright62]

*head in hands*  I know, I know, nobody forces me to read these, and yet here I am.  (Oh, they're so good.)

[Yastreb]

True story; during a chat on Skype, someone posting a photograph of a one-handed scythe with the comment "I'm cutting weeds."
I said, "You need to put an engine on that one-handed scythe. Then you'd have a motor-sickle."

[Róisín]

Groooaaaannn! Yastreb, that’s truly awful! Although it wouldn’t work because the sickle is short handled not man-height like a scythe. Gods know how that would translate to a motorsickle! Or you could always go and listen to music……

[wavewright62]

Are you perhaps thinking of that old Pete Seeger ditty?

I don't wanna pickle
I just wanna ride on my motorsickle
I don't wanna pie
I just wanna ride on my motorcy...
cle

[Róisín]

Yeah, that song. I actually like the songs of Paxton, Seeger, Guthrie and that lot, as well as the really old traditional songs.. Old folkie here.

[thorny]

The line's "I don't wanna pie"?! I always thought it was "I don't wanna die".

[Yastreb]

Do we have a Mondegreen here?

[thorny]

Either a mondegreen or what another board I'm on calls a "whoosh" (i.e. the joke's on me for taking it seriously.)

It's definitely "die". He's supposedly singing it after having accidentally ridden off a cliff.

ETA: and it's Arlo Guthrie, not Pete Seeger. Though I don't know whether Seeger sang it also; though parts of it don't sound like him.

[Róisín]

I also remember it as being ‘I don’t wanna die’.

[Róisín]

Guthrie, Seeger and Paxton all sang it at various times, but I’m unsure who wrote it, I think Guthrie?

[thorny]

I'm pretty sure Arlo Guthrie wrote it.

Did Seeger do the part about the cop being killed, and that being funny? It doesn't sound like him. But maybe he just sang it, without the accompanying story.

[wavewright62]

I also remembered it as die, but (errr, ahhh) thought that couldn't possibly be it.  I also posted that on my phone so was too lazy to look it up,

my bad

Whether it was Arlo or Pete, I also did not look up, but I remember it from a snippet of a performance Pete gave once where he sang snippets of a couple of songs as an intro.  Also featured, a verse of 'always marry a Texas girl, 'cause no matter what may happen, she's seen worse'.

[Jitter]

[Buteo]

This Yule I was given a tea towel with a certain number of pictures of different species in the crow family.
It includes the common and scientific name of each species, and an overall title for the whole gallery:

                                           CORVID 19                 

[Jitter]

Buteo I love that!

What is it with puns anyways, why are they supposedly terrible and embarrassing in English? Doesn’t everyone love puns? If not, why? Puns are the bestest!