Some much-needed definitions for things that happen all too often...
arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you've walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug, n: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 am and cannot be cast out.
bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future.
cashtration, n: The act of buying a house, rendering you financially impotent for an indefinite time.
caterpallor, n: The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
dopelar effect, n: (1) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly. (2) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
extraterrestaurant, n: An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented on.
foreploy, n: Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
Grantartica, n: The cold, isolated place where art companies without funding dwell.
intaxication, n: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, until you realise it was your money to start with.
kinstirpation, n: A painful inability to get rid of relatives who come to visit.
lullabuoy, n: An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.
