Let's see what special deals we can find in the classified advertisements today.
"1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer"
"2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess."
"2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15"
"3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."
"A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms."
"And now, the Superstore--unequalled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivalled inconvenience"
"Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
"Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months."
"Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!"
"Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00"
"Dog for sale: eats anything, very fond of children."
"Ears pierced while you wait."
"For Rent: 6-room hated apartment."
"For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers"
"Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours."
"Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."
"Great Dames for sale"
"Illiterate? Write today for free help."
"Man wanted to work in dynamite factory, must be willing to travel."
"Man, honest, will take anything."
"Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating."
"Mother's helper – peasant working conditions"
"No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent."
"Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."
"Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops."
"Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
"Sheer stockings, designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else"
"Snow blower for sale... only used on snowy days"
"Tattoos done while you wait"
"This house has been fully insulted."
"This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens."
"Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours – starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour."
"TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets."
"Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast."
"Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!"
"Vacation Special: have your home exterminated."
"Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes."
"Wanted, preparer of food; must be reliable, like the food business, and willing to get hands dirty."
"Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
"Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory"
"Wanted: part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop"
"Wanted; hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers"
"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."
