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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139673 times)

JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #735 on: October 28, 2020, 07:55:48 PM »
Quote from: Yastreb on October 28, 2020, 08:03:23 AM
Q: What's the correct response if you're invited to join the Plagiarists' Guild?
A: "Copy that."
... wouldn't a good plagiarist be supposed to already have an invitation?
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #736 on: October 29, 2020, 02:14:04 AM »
Q: What's the correct response if you're invited to join the breakaway faction of the Guild of Navigators?
A: "Get lost!"
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Róisín

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #737 on: October 29, 2020, 03:57:08 PM »
Yastreb, can’t you sleep either?
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Lallicat

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #738 on: October 31, 2020, 02:36:47 PM »
In the spirit of Hallowe'en, here are some spooky jokes:

Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner cords aren't long enough.

Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broommates.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.

Q:How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you are a mouse.

Q: Why don't vampires have more friends?
A: Because they're a pain in the neck.

Q: What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?
A: Frost bite.

Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?
A: Ghoulie.

Q: What instrument does a skeleton play?
A: Trombone.

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Day-scare centers.

Q: Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
A: People are just dying to get in.

Q: What type of jokes are these?
A: Candy corny ones.
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #739 on: October 31, 2020, 06:33:09 PM »
Quote from: Lallicat on October 31, 2020, 02:36:47 PM
Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner cords aren't long enough.

It will besom time before that changes.

And have you heard about the witch who sued a man for child support after he put a bun in her coven?
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Róisín

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #740 on: November 01, 2020, 04:14:41 AM »
Gggrrrrrroooooaaan! Yastreb and Lallicat, those are truly awful! Thank you!
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Quetanto

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #741 on: November 03, 2020, 11:23:49 AM »
You know what you get if you strip an Apple computer of anything colourful?

The core processors.
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #742 on: November 12, 2020, 09:08:25 PM »
I heard about a guy who bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer; he was tripping all day.

Why did the coffee call the cops? It was mugged.

What happens when a frog's car breaks down? If it can't get a jump, it has to be toad.

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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #743 on: November 17, 2020, 06:19:30 AM »
This just heard...

I purchase all my firearms from a guy named T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer.
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"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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Róisín

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #744 on: November 17, 2020, 06:50:14 AM »
You do find the strangest jokes! Though I did laugh at that one.
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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #745 on: November 24, 2020, 12:27:17 PM »
Seen on Twitter: The Fair Folk enjoy many genres of literature but can’t abide certain kinds of satire because they are repelled by cold irony.
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Grade E cat

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #746 on: December 11, 2020, 07:55:07 AM »
Stolen from a social network:
Is anyone named Leon interested in a light-up install-it-yourself sign spelling their name? The place that was supposed to send me a "Noël" one messed up.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 11:26:51 AM by Grade E cat »
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #747 on: December 12, 2020, 06:13:25 PM »
A scientist created his genetic double, but found to his chagrin that it wouldn't stop swearing profanely, and in his frustration he pushed it over a cliff.

He was charged with making an obscene clone fall.
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"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #748 on: January 02, 2021, 08:17:51 PM »
To kill a French vampire you have to drive a baguette through their heart. Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.
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ARoseByAnyOtherName

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #749 on: January 02, 2021, 08:48:46 PM »
Here is a really bad one I have seen a lot
Q: Why do sharks live in salt water?
A: because pepper makes them sneeze
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