How about some Bulwer-Lytton moments?
As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it.
Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store.
Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.
Mike Hardware was a private eye who didn't know the meaning of 'fear,' a man who laughed in the face of danger and spat in the eye of death; in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.