Pages: Previous 1 ... 32 33 34 ... 70 Next
Go Down

Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139758 times)

Antillanka

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: her, thank you ;)
  • Posts: 1148
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #480 on: March 12, 2019, 07:29:58 PM »
*chuckling against my will*
Logged
Iguana with issues
 
Speaks: :chile:('cause that sh*t ain't :spain: XD); :usa:

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #481 on: March 12, 2019, 07:55:29 PM »
Quote from: Antillanka on March 12, 2019, 07:29:58 PM
*chuckling against my will*
My work here is done.  >:D
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Gwenno

  • Valkyrie
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *
    • Tumblr
    • DeviantArt
  • Be the change you wish to see
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 1241
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #482 on: April 07, 2019, 01:19:08 PM »
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Spoiler: show
Ask them to pronounce the word unionized
Logged
You're a fool if you dance or not so you might as well dance

Fluent: :wls: :gb:
駄洒落だけ: :jp:
Working on it :nl:
Tourist level: :es: :fr: :it:

Chapter break survivor : :artd: :book1+: :book2: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14:
Soulcount: 10

proud member of the Sigrun Eide for God-Emperor of the Universe Society
Roleplay doc

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #483 on: April 28, 2019, 08:52:22 PM »
What did the fish seller say to the magician?

“Pick a cod, any cod!”

EDIT: crap, copied myself!
« Last Edit: April 29, 2019, 10:38:28 PM by Anna »
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

ILoveMySocksAndSweater

  • Safe-Zone Citizen
  • **
  • burn things.
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 103
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #484 on: April 29, 2019, 09:37:34 PM »
I'm not very good with jokes, but I do have one...

If horses wear horse shoes then they must wear horse socks too, because only an animal would wear shoes without socks!

*a laugh track emits from a broken speaker*
Logged
socks

Speaks: :usa:
Learning: :france: :sweden:

Demopans

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 39
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #485 on: April 30, 2019, 07:25:00 AM »
We all heard this one I’m sure:
    Knock knock
    Who’s there
    The Doctor
    Doctor Who?
Logged

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #486 on: May 01, 2019, 11:22:15 PM »
Why should you never tell an egg a joke?

It might crack up.  :V
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #487 on: May 09, 2019, 07:17:31 AM »
Quote from: Demopans on April 30, 2019, 07:25:00 AM
We all heard this one I’m sure:
    Knock knock
    Who’s there
    The Doctor
    Doctor Who?

When I was a kid the final line was "Doctor Who from Channel Two!" since said channel broadcast the show :)
Logged
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Conqueror of an Abandoned City
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 5031
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #488 on: May 09, 2019, 05:16:49 PM »
My daughter's (Jewish) primary school once put on a play featuring a Doctor Who-like character, but who was actually Doctor Me (the word for 'who' in Hebrew is pronounced as 'me').  The script called for multiple walk-ons, deliberately to make use of the pun.  ("Wait, who are you?" "Yes, I'm Me!" "Who?" "Me!" "Sorry, but you are me?" "Yes, that's right! Who!" "Uh, me?" and so on) - cue 10yo moppets laughing their heads off every time.
Logged
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

Róisín

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Elder of the Ruined Realm
  • ********
  • Posts: 8636
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #489 on: May 09, 2019, 08:31:39 PM »
Wavewright, that is so funny!
Logged
Avatar is courtesy of the amazing Haiz!

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #490 on: May 16, 2019, 12:54:13 AM »
What’s the definition of a will?




C’mon, it’s a dead giveaway!
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Ana Nymus

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
    • DeviantArt
  • Checking in once in a while
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 2914
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #491 on: May 16, 2019, 10:50:39 AM »
I came across this one the other day, but I can't seem to find its source:

There are three things I hate in this world: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.
Logged
:usa: Yes.
:spain: Out of practice.
:finland: Failed to learn.
:vaticancity: Probably remember five words.
White text: Always ;P
:chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21: :A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:

I also speak SCIENCE!!!

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Conqueror of an Abandoned City
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 5031
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #492 on: May 17, 2019, 06:02:23 AM »
Quote from: Ana Nymus on May 16, 2019, 10:50:39 AM
I came across this one the other day, but I can't seem to find its source:

There are three things I hate in this world: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.
Oh, bravo to the author!
Logged
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4117
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #493 on: May 22, 2019, 09:45:50 AM »
Not an actual joke, for a change ...

What do you call a news-aggregating periodical for German "risk and capital management" (i.e., insurance companies, in German, "Versicherungen" or, if you insist on olde, high-brow, straight-from-Latin vocabulary, "Assekuranzen")?

Definitely. Not. This.
Logged
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #494 on: May 22, 2019, 07:57:43 PM »
Logged
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t
Pages: Previous 1 ... 32 33 34 ... 70 Next
Go Up