So I parked my car on a forest trail out in the wilderness and left it there. Some hours later I return, get in, put the key in the ignition and twist. Nothing. Not a sound from my Czech stallion. Batteries must be flat as a board, why on eart- Oh, I left the lights on and they flatlined the battery. That's it, I'm officially an idiot.
Okay, in situations like this the first solution is usually to get someone to help you with starter cables. Chirp chirp, there's not a sentient being to be found anywhere near, let alone one with a car. I don't think the local bears are interested. Okay then, option two: push the car until the battery builds up a sufficient charge....
Observe this sample of the neanderthalis Norvegicus. Watch it stubbornly push a 1.9 tonne car across a potholed gravelly forest road. Watch its puny feet scrape uselessly against the surface as the car remains rigidly planted on the spot. Watch it faceplant and eat a mouthful of dirt. Watch it get up and repeat this process. Biologist and antrophologists agree, this particular subspecies will be extinct within a forthnight.
Can you tell my ego took a torpedo below the waterline from this whole predicament?
So I had to resort to the dreaded third option: Call the roadside assistance service and have them bring a battery charger. I say dreaded mostly for economic reasons; their services are pricy and I'm not affluent. I don't need the expense in my life (even though my negligence caused the whole situation). The price was surprisingly reasonable though considering that they had to drive for two hours to get there after they got my call. That also meant I had to wait by my car for two hours for them to get there. So there I sat on the hood. Munching blueberries. So that what greeted the obviously amused RA serviceman when he arrived was a slightly feral-looking half-smurf on a Skoda.
That's it, storytime's over.
