There is no battery. It has been removed. I did not do this. How. Why.
What kind of battery (batteries?), would they fit into some other (someone else's) device, what kind of lid's over them, when's the last time they positively were in place, or would the weight difference alone be noticeable?
(Sort of gambling on a "hey, the TV remote stopped working, who's currently not at home so that we can
borrow from his stuff" scenario here ...)