Some puns. Because why not.
An international chess championship was being held in a five-star hotel, and the manager became increasingly vexed by the keen spectators who would hang around in the atrium by the entrance, singing the praises of this or that national champion.
Finally he ordered them to hold such meetings outside the hotel. As he explained to his staff, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
In apartheid-era South Africa, it was the law that the race of competitors at every sports event be clearly stated; hence the sign that read THE WRESTLERS ARE NATIVE TONIGHT.
When Alexander the Great was marching east he equipped each of his men with a piece of red cloth to be worn around the wrist. The piece of cloth served to provide the men with an indication of the weather and time of day. When the cloth was wet, it told them that it was raining, if the cloth was dry, the weather was good, if the cloth was black, it was night time, when it was bright red, the sun was out, if it was brown, it was time to bathe. This piece of cloth was commonly referred to as Alexander's Rag Time Band.
A South Korean named Syngman Rhee had a brother who was a reporter for Life Magazine in the days when that magazine was still flourishing. Life Magazine sent him into the wilds of Africa to track down a story. And nothing was heard from the reporter for weeks.
At last, very much alarmed about the missing reporter, Life magazine hired a team of reporters to go searching for him -- a man and a woman. They trekked through the jungle, they journeyed through town after town -- and at last their persistence was rewarded with success.
The lady exclaimed with great joy: "Ah, sweet Mr. Rhee of Life, at last I've found you!'
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose badge ID's her as Patricia Wak.
"Miss Wak, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Wak. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
