Bad jokes thread

[JoB]

"Und vot is vrong mit SCHMETTERLING?!?"

To give credit where credit is due, we borrowed "smetana" (cream, in the same vein as "butterfly") from Czech for that one.

[wavewright62]

I'm quite partial to the Estonian 'liblikas', not that that is funny. 
Back in the 20s or 30s, there was supposedly a real competition for the most beautiful language, with Italian taking first and Estonian second.  A Google search suggests that the Estonian entry was the sentence "Sõida tasa üle silla (Go slowly over the bridge)" but my mother used to tell it as "Ulla oli silla üle, õlu õles alla (Girl named Ulla went over the bridge with a beer under her shoulder)."  Inspiring stuff. 

[Iceea]

If I were a rapper my rap name would be “Gershwin” and I’d distribute my music exclusively on compact disks with blue cover art.
Because then,



Wait for it,




Because then they’d be, Gershwin’s rap CDs in blue…

I sent this to a colleague at work who responded with:

My brother bought a racing snail but he wasn’t performing very well so he took the racing shell off of that snail to give to one of his other racing snails. 
Now the first snail is acting sluggish.

[Anna]

When does a joke become a “dad joke”?

When it becomes apparent.

[Purple Wyrm]

When does a joke become a “dad joke”?

When it becomes apparent.

BOOOOOOOOO!!! 

[JoB]

BOOOOOOOOO!!! 

S-mother it!

[Anna]

What did the fish seller say to the magician?

“Pick a cod, any cod.”

[Antillanka]

These are terrible, I love them XD

[vegetablemonster]

Joke is slightly crude so I'm putting it under a spoiler.

Spoiler: show

You ask to be registered in a peeing contest.

"Okay," says the registrar, "Urine."

[Mebediel]

No cruder than an ordinary poop joke, I think

[wavewright62]

Joke is slightly crude so I'm putting it under a spoiler.

Spoiler: show

You ask to be registered in a peeing contest.

"Okay," says the registrar, "Urine."

Note for British English speakers: This does not rhyme with "you mine."  (Even after 20+ years, it still makes me pause to hear someone pronounce it that way.)
Oh dear, does this mean I must now reciprocate?  *wracks brain*

Spoiler: favourite bad word that is not necessarily a bad word joke • show

The sergeant of the Australian regiment calls together the troops, standing alongside a major of an English regiment, whose moustache is clearly bristling over some indignity or another.
"Ah right, y' bastards," the sergeant begins, "which one of you bastards is the bastard that called this bastard," jerks thumb at the now-incandescent major, "a bastard?"

[Anna]

Note for British English speakers: This does not rhyme with "you mine."  (Even after 20+ years, it still makes me pause to hear someone pronounce it that way.)
Oh dear, does this mean I must now reciprocate?  *wracks brain*

Spoiler: favourite bad word that is not necessarily a bad word joke • show

The sergeant of the Australian regiment calls together the troops, standing alongside a major of an English regiment, whose moustache is clearly bristling over some indignity or another.
"Ah right, y' bastards," the sergeant begins, "which one of you bastards is the bastard that called this bastard," jerks thumb at the now-incandescent major, "a bastard?"

It won’t open?

[Róisín]

Nor for me.

[thorny]

It won't open for me in wavewright62's original post.

It will, however, open in Anna's quote of that post.

It'll also open in wavewright's post if I try opening it while on the reply page.

This is strange.

[JoB]

Single quotes in spoiler descriptions are a bad word thing, let me edit that for you:

Spoiler: favourite "bad word that is not necessarily a bad word" joke • show

The sergeant of the Australian regiment calls together the troops, standing alongside a major of an English regiment, whose moustache is clearly bristling over some indignity or another.
"Ah right, y' bastards," the sergeant begins, "which one of you bastards is the bastard that called this bastard," jerks thumb at the now-incandescent major, "a bastard?"