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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139643 times)

Shine

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #390 on: August 25, 2017, 04:19:17 PM »
Why can't Jedi email each other pictures?
Spoiler: show
Because attachments are forbidden.


I'm so sorry
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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #391 on: August 28, 2017, 11:01:31 PM »
Quote from: Solokov on August 23, 2017, 11:12:30 PM
Spoiler: Dad Jokes II: The daddening • show
A man walks into a zoo, but there's only one animal, which is a dog.

It was a s***zu.


Pretty sure I already made this one, but ok.
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And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Solokov

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #392 on: August 29, 2017, 01:56:55 AM »
Quote from: Anna on August 28, 2017, 11:01:31 PM
Pretty sure I already made this one, but ok.

To be fair I did stumble across your post after I'd posted when I was skimming through the thread.

Here's one I'm fairly certain nonone's posted yet.

Where does the Fonz like go to eat?
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Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyyy
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #393 on: October 08, 2017, 11:08:11 AM »
I browsed through the online store of a clergy outfitter today, and happened on confession counter devices. (Just to make sure everyone gets the point: While in the confession booth, the priest may be holding one of those in his hand so as to keep count of your sinful tale, and not hand you a less-than-adequate penance just because he's trying to forget the details again ASAP.)

They count up to 9,999. By my reckoning, that's at least one hour of clicking at top speed - and that's way faster than the lost sheep can talk.
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #394 on: October 08, 2017, 06:29:07 PM »
Quote from: JoB on October 08, 2017, 11:08:11 AM
I browsed through the online store of a clergy outfitter today, and happened on confession counter devices. (Just to make sure everyone gets the point: While in the confession booth, the priest may be holding one of those in his hand so as to keep count of your sinful tale, and not hand you a less-than-adequate penance just because he's trying to forget the details again ASAP.)

They count up to 9,999. By my reckoning, that's at least one hour of clicking at top speed - and that's way faster than the lost sheep can talk.

From what I understand, the confession / absolution process is based on faith, so you may now have to go confess that you have questioned the process, which may now exceed the parameters on your calculations.  Sorry about that.
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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #395 on: November 03, 2017, 05:09:44 PM »
What do you call a lazy kangaroo joey?
Spoiler: show
A pouch potato.
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #396 on: November 03, 2017, 10:02:49 PM »
A pirate walks into a dockside tavern with a ship's wheel poking out of his trousers. The barman says "Sorry, but you do know there's a ship's wheel poking out of your trousers?". The pirate replies "Yaaaaar! It's drivin' me nuts!"

(Sorry ;D)
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Iceea

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #397 on: November 04, 2017, 12:09:04 AM »
Quote from: Purple Wyrm on November 03, 2017, 10:02:49 PM
A pirate walks into a dockside tavern with a ship's wheel poking out of his trousers. The barman says "Sorry, but you do know there's a ship's wheel poking out of your trousers?". The pirate replies "Yaaaaar! It's drivin' me nuts!"

(Sorry ;D)

I know this is the bad jokes thread, but
and I'll bet you're not sorry at all  :haw:
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #398 on: November 04, 2017, 03:14:30 AM »
[
Quote from: Anna on November 03, 2017, 05:09:44 PM
What do you call a lazy kangaroo joey?
Spoiler: show
A pouch potato.


quote author=Purple Wyrm link=topic=809.msg148679#msg148679 date=1509760969]
A pirate walks into a dockside tavern with a ship's wheel poking out of his trousers. The barman says "Sorry, but you do know there's a ship's wheel poking out of your trousers?". The pirate replies "Yaaaaar! It's drivin' me nuts!"

(Sorry ;D)
[/quote]
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Grey-cat2

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #399 on: November 05, 2017, 09:19:11 AM »
*Attempts to think of something original, realizes that's probably impossible at this point*
Sigh.
What's the main thing a banana and a guitar have in common?
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Neither one can climb a tree.
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tulikokko

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #400 on: November 05, 2017, 05:22:11 PM »
This one works better out loud and probably only in British English, but...

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear?

Ch-yer-nob'll fall out!
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thorny

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #401 on: November 05, 2017, 06:49:21 PM »
Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Arn.

Arn who?

Spoiler: show
Arn'cha glad I don't make up more knock-knock jokes?




(what??! you did say this was the bad jokes thread, didn't you?)
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #402 on: November 06, 2017, 02:02:02 AM »
Knock Knock!

Who's there?

The Interrupting Cow

The Interrupti..

MOOOOOOO!
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #403 on: November 15, 2017, 06:51:11 PM »
A man walks into a talent agent's office. "I have a pretty unique talent," he says, "I can imitate birds like you wouldn't believe!"
"Unique!?", the somewhat on-edge agent shoots back, "bird imitators are a dime a dozen! Stop wasting my time with that!"
"Very well, suit yourself," says the man and flies out of the window.
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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #404 on: November 29, 2017, 09:16:44 AM »
A boy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but he gets them. He goes to rent a limousine. The rental line is very long but eventually he does it. He goes to get her flowers. The line at the florist’s is very long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get some punch. He goes to the refreshments table and there’s no punchline.
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