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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139282 times)

Double H

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #105 on: May 18, 2016, 06:54:44 PM »
I just found this one:

"You're a unit of power, Harry."
"I'm a watt?!"
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Tr

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #106 on: May 18, 2016, 07:44:50 PM »
Pffff hahahaha!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Spoiler: show
To get to your house.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Spoiler: show
The chicken.
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Athena

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #107 on: May 18, 2016, 11:40:39 PM »
Quote from: Tr on May 18, 2016, 07:44:50 PM
Pffff hahahaha!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Spoiler: show
To get to your house.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Spoiler: show
The chicken.


I've heard a slightly meaner version of this.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Spoiler: show
To find an idiot.


Knock knock.
Spoiler: show
It's the chicken.
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #108 on: May 19, 2016, 10:13:44 AM »
How do you keep a thread in suspense.
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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #109 on: May 20, 2016, 06:38:52 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 19, 2016, 10:13:44 AM
How do you keep a thread in suspense.

By failing to include the punchline?
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Noodles

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #110 on: May 20, 2016, 08:32:54 PM »
OK this one will have stage directions because it's Better That Way

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: KGB
B: KGB who?
Spoiler: show
A: *smacking B in the face* WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS
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WrittenEmber

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #111 on: May 20, 2016, 10:17:47 PM »
An astronaut arrives on the newly built Mars colony and is shown his living quarters. He isn't happy, and when asked why, he replies, "I was hoping for more space."
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Juniper

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #112 on: May 21, 2016, 12:53:07 AM »
Quote from: WrittenEmber on May 20, 2016, 10:17:47 PM
An astronaut arrives on the newly built Mars colony and is shown his living quarters. He isn't happy, and when asked why, he replies, "I was hoping for more space."
I bet that place totally didn't have enough atmosphere either (fun fact ! Mars does have an atmosphere but it's incredibly thin, around a 100 times less dense than the Earth's atmosphere)
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #113 on: May 21, 2016, 11:39:11 AM »
A woman was pacing the deck of the cruise ship, looking very nervous.  A crew member walked by and she stopped him and said, "I'm very scared because we're so far away from the shore."

The crew member nodded and said, "Don't worry ma'am. We're only 3 miles away from land."

The woman looked relieved and asked, "Oh, that's good. In which direction?"

"Straight down!"
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WrittenEmber

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #114 on: May 21, 2016, 01:34:21 PM »
Quote from: Juniper on May 21, 2016, 12:53:07 AM
I bet that place totally didn't have enough atmosphere either (fun fact ! Mars does have an atmosphere but it's incredibly thin, around a 100 times less dense than the Earth's atmosphere)

Yes, and the library was full of nothing but comet books. The gravity of the situation didn't hit him too hard, though. He just had to accept that his logic had been eclipsed by the stellar advertising for the place.
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #115 on: May 21, 2016, 05:46:52 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 21, 2016, 11:39:11 AM
The woman looked relieved and asked, "Oh, that's good. In which direction?"
"Straight down!"
"Do ships sink very often?"
"No, most that do will stay down."
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #116 on: May 21, 2016, 08:59:50 PM »
What's green, scaly and goes up and down, up and down?

Spoiler: show

An Elevgator!

(I came up with that one while lying in bed half asleep this morning. I'm quite pleased with it ;D )
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #117 on: May 21, 2016, 09:28:46 PM »
Quote from: Purple Wyrm on May 21, 2016, 08:59:50 PM
What's green, scaly and goes up and down, up and down?
Spoiler: show

An Elevgator!

[envious sigh]
Spoiler: show
All we get in Europe are those tiny liftzards.
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Purple Wyrm

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #118 on: May 21, 2016, 09:48:11 PM »
Quote from: JoB on May 21, 2016, 09:28:46 PM
[envious sigh]
Spoiler: show
All we get in Europe are those tiny liftzards.


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Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

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Tr

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #119 on: May 21, 2016, 09:55:50 PM »
Quote from: JoB on May 21, 2016, 09:28:46 PM
[envious sigh]
Spoiler: show
All we get in Europe are those tiny liftzards.

Ugh, yeah, I know. We've got those here in the States, too.
Spoiler: show
I got stuck in one once, and I had to crocodial 911.
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