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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 138838 times)

frostykitty

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2016, 06:51:28 PM »
Oh joy! This thread exists! We were even talking about puns in school today! Too bad my friends are so much better at them than I...

My friend had been reading a book on Scandinavian Mythology. I wanted to borrow it, so I asked, "Did you FINNish that book yet?" ( background dialogue; "Eh, eheh, get it? Get it? Finnnnnish?" "Oh gosh please stop..." "But, but do you get it?-")
Now in band, out last Trombone just quit. TUBAd, huh? Now low brass has BASSically three people left.
Now, I was going to tell an element joke, but all the good ones argon...
And finally, don't listen to stars, their just full of hot air.
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Athena

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2016, 07:12:57 PM »
Quote from: Noodly Appendage on February 25, 2016, 05:58:29 PM
Warning: dorky science jokes ahead.

"We don't serve your kind in here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.

What should you say if someone offers you bootleg sodium bromate?
Spoiler: show
NaBrO


Dorky science jokes for the win!

Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium doesn't react.
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Athena

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2016, 07:34:49 PM »
Also (sorry for double post) I remembered another good one.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Well, I you can't Curium and you can't Helium, you may as well Barium!
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meshebe

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2016, 07:43:21 PM »
To keep up with the science theme, here's one of my favorites....

"If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate!" 

 ;D
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starfallz

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #19 on: February 25, 2016, 07:54:23 PM »
What do you call a bubble tea party?
Spoiler: show
A boba fete
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Antillanka

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #20 on: February 25, 2016, 08:00:10 PM »
How do you call an alligator in a vest?

Spoiler: show
An investigator


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IKEA

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #21 on: February 25, 2016, 08:14:06 PM »
What do Greek cows say?
Spoiler: show
μ
A man walks into a bar.
Spoiler: show
"Ouch!" he says.
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Puls3

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2016, 02:10:10 AM »
Old but gold:
Spoiler: show
#1
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says: "I think I've lost my electron."

The other one says: "Are you sure?"

The first replies: "I'm positive."

#2
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink.

When being asked for the price, the bartender replies: "For you? No charge."
       
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Double H

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #23 on: February 26, 2016, 08:48:56 AM »
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.
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Eriaror

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #24 on: February 26, 2016, 09:50:00 AM »
Okay this one is soo bad that... I just can't.

Why do some elephants have red eyes?
Spoiler: show
So they can hide in a cherry tree.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? [spoiler]See how well it hid there?!
[/spoiler]
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #25 on: February 26, 2016, 09:54:23 AM »
A C, an E-flat, and a G walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Get out of here.  We don't serve minors."
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meshebe

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #26 on: February 26, 2016, 02:50:38 PM »
Why do sharks swim in salt water???

Spoiler: show

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!!!!



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Fimbulvarg

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #27 on: February 26, 2016, 05:55:34 PM »
I don't get why this is called a 'bad jokes' thread, they're all amazing.

Why did Adele cross the road?

Spoiler: show
To say hello from the other side


Why was the scarecrow promoted?

Spoiler: show
He was outstanding in his field


What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Spoiler: show
Well, their flag is a big plus for one
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Double H

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #28 on: February 26, 2016, 06:13:10 PM »
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Spoiler: show
Aye Matey.



The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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meshebe

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2016, 07:13:02 PM »
How about a couple of riddles? 

What gets wetter as it dries?
Spoiler: show
A towel!


What runs, but never moves,
has a bed, but never sleeps,
has a mouth, but never eats?
Spoiler: show
A river!


Also I have to say that I'm loving all the jokes... but the scarecrow joke and the armies/sleevies jokes are my two new favorites XD
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