How to gut a fish: deliver blunt trauma to head with suitable object or surface. Grasph firmly around lower neck and sever throat with sharp knife. Rinse, grasp neck firmly and lead knife downwards to expose guts, remove guts and rinse again.
Well, this was crude. Firsly, if you can, breaking the neck is better, then you can cut off the head. Secondly, you should start gutting from the anus and up to the neck, this will expose the guts. The most important thing when taking out the guts is not to break the gall bladder, if you do, the whole fish is ruined. Depending on the kind of fish and the quality, you can also take out the liver and put it aside for frying. Then you clean out the swim bladder and scrape off the membrane on the inside of the fish- that last part is not terribly important. Then you cut off all the fins. This can be done with a pair of scissors. Who cares if it's the "woman" way of doing it, it's the smart way of doing it. Clean off the scales and skin if neccesary, then cook.
Sorry, I'm just really proud of knowing how to do this.
Starring Eich as lead investigator (who would rather not deal with charred, unidentifiable bodies), OrigamiOwl as dynamic sidekick greenhorn and ThisCat as resident criminal pathologist. The only lead is trace amounts of lipgloss in the victim's blood.
Forensic pathology, huh? I guess that's kinda in my field, but just slightly. I'd totally be up for meeting you guys irl though