OH MAN okay, today. Has been a day. Let me tell you the saga.
The sellers and the lender finally stopped dragging their feet and set a date for us to sign the closing papers on our new house, and that day was today, immediately after work and no later because the seller is in a different time zone and the papers have to be notarized before the bank closes blah blah.
So I went about my day at work whilst trying not to freak out about how much money is involved in that, and came across a possible solution to a problem--details aren't important, just know that it has to do with SSL certificates and Google being a lying liar who lies--which has been affecting this website as well as a lot of others. So at the end of the workday I thought "hey, I'll go ahead and run the fix on the forum real quick before I go sign papers until my hand falls off." This is a procedure I do all the time, every day, no big deal.
So of course the fates chose that moment for the entire process to fail catastrophically in a way I've never seen before and break access to the forum completely. There was no reason why it should've happened right then, on our website, as opposed to any of the hundreds of others I do the same procedure on any given week, but it did. I spent the last few minutes of my shift frantically running around trying to find someone to bribe to fix it for me so I could leave, but this also happened to be the day when they scheduled Every Meeting Ever and everybody was gone. Because the Laws of Narrative Comedy require that I end today bald, having pulled all my hair out along the way. Finally I found one of my drinking buddies and promised him good karma and all the monopoly money I could drown him in if he'd just get it working as soon as he wasn't completely swamped from covering for everybody who was gone at the meetings, and because he is good-natured to a fault and we supply him with beer, he agreed.
It was, apparently, a truly epic battle, but I don't know the details. I just know that by the time I finished signing myself and Wyrd into hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt--and a home that we love--the site was back. So if you noticed the site was down earlier and wondered why, now you know. And you also know where all my hair went. D: