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Author Topic: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:  (Read 90777 times)

RandomTexanReader

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #30 on: June 01, 2015, 10:31:21 AM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 01, 2015, 09:45:42 AM
In contrast to what I may think, "the fish is rotten" does not mean "only my boss may eat it".
The sheep is served best without wool.
Not allowed to hide wool in sheep meet.
Not allowed to give my acorns-allergic co-worker acorns just to see what would happen.
I shall never, ever, withhold my cookies from anyone.
I shall not demand anything even slightly illegal at the price of my cookies.
What is legal and what is illegal is decided by local law, not anything or anyone else.
Five course meal is not what my superior means when he says "snack". The opposite is also true.
Serving dishes with alcohol to sailors on duty is a terribad idea, regardless of the amusement it brings me and my colleagues.
Not allowed to tell visiting VIP that the dish is made of troll. Especially if the dish is made from troll.
Troll is not viable food.
Calling troll by any other name does not make it viable food.
Not allowed to cast exorcisms on troll to use it for cooking.
If my dish is moving on its own accord, I can safely assume that it's inedible.
Throwing food away is not wasting it if it tries to crawl out of the pot anyway.
Not allowed to throw the food away in my boss' bed, even if it looks just like him.
The dish I'm serving is not made from my co-workers.
Not allowed to call any dish "Soylent Green".

I hoped at least some of those are worthwhile.
Quote from: SectoBoss on June 01, 2015, 10:19:38 AM
A chef's hat is not part of military uniform, especially if it is over one metre tall.
These are A: hilarious, B: brilliant, and C: added.
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Daéa Reina

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #31 on: June 01, 2015, 02:14:41 PM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 01, 2015, 09:45:42 AM
In contrast to what I may think, "the fish is rotten" does not mean "only my boss may eat it".
The sheep is served best without wool.
Not allowed to hide wool in sheep meet.
Not allowed to give my acorns-allergic co-worker acorns just to see what would happen.
I shall never, ever, withhold my cookies from anyone.
I shall not demand anything even slightly illegal at the price of my cookies.
What is legal and what is illegal is decided by local law, not anything or anyone else.
Five course meal is not what my superior means when he says "snack". The opposite is also true.
Serving dishes with alcohol to sailors on duty is a terribad idea, regardless of the amusement it brings me and my colleagues.
Not allowed to tell visiting VIP that the dish is made of troll. Especially if the dish is made from troll.
Troll is not viable food.
Calling troll by any other name does not make it viable food.
Not allowed to cast exorcisms on troll to use it for cooking.
If my dish is moving on its own accord, I can safely assume that it's inedible.
Throwing food away is not wasting it if it tries to crawl out of the pot anyway.
Not allowed to throw the food away in my boss' bed, even if it looks just like him.
The dish I'm serving is not made from my co-workers.
Not allowed to call any dish "Soylent Green".

I hoped at least some of those are worthwhile.


These are hilarious!!
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Antillanka

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #32 on: June 01, 2015, 07:04:01 PM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 01, 2015, 09:45:42 AM

I hoped at least some of those are worthwhile.

Wow! Much amusing! Many worthwhile! Wow! Hahaha, seriously, Minna could make a great OVA out of this!  ;D
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Auleliel

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #33 on: June 02, 2015, 12:25:43 AM »
These are so funny!   :D

I am not allowed to put glue of any kind anywhere without direct orders to do so. Especially not in the latrine.
I am not allowed to directly order myself to do anything.
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Trinka

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #34 on: June 02, 2015, 02:47:24 AM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 01, 2015, 09:45:42 AM
In contrast to what I may think, "the fish is rotten" does not mean "only my boss may eat it".
The sheep is served best without wool.
Not allowed to hide wool in sheep meet.
Not allowed to give my acorns-allergic co-worker acorns just to see what would happen.
I shall never, ever, withhold my cookies from anyone.
I shall not demand anything even slightly illegal at the price of my cookies.
What is legal and what is illegal is decided by local law, not anything or anyone else.
Five course meal is not what my superior means when he says "snack". The opposite is also true.
Serving dishes with alcohol to sailors on duty is a terribad idea, regardless of the amusement it brings me and my colleagues.
Not allowed to tell visiting VIP that the dish is made of troll. Especially if the dish is made from troll.
Troll is not viable food.
Calling troll by any other name does not make it viable food.
Not allowed to cast exorcisms on troll to use it for cooking.
If my dish is moving on its own accord, I can safely assume that it's inedible.
Throwing food away is not wasting it if it tries to crawl out of the pot anyway.
Not allowed to throw the food away in my boss' bed, even if it looks just like him.
The dish I'm serving is not made from my co-workers.
Not allowed to call any dish "Soylent Green".

I hoped at least some of those are worthwhile.

THESE ARE ALL DEFINITELY WORTH WHILE. YES. MUCH YES.
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SectoBoss

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #35 on: June 02, 2015, 05:56:33 AM »
From a fanfic I wrote a while ago that I've only just remembered:

I am not allowed to tie Admiral Olsen's beard braids to anything, including other parts of Admiral Olsen.
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Aierdome

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #36 on: June 02, 2015, 08:53:37 AM »
Quote from: SectoBoss on June 02, 2015, 05:56:33 AM
From a fanfic I wrote a while ago that I've only just remembered:

I am not allowed to tie Admiral Olsen's beard braids to anything, including other parts of Admiral Olsen.

 ;D :D ;D :D
You gave me this mental image of Admiral Olsen waking up in his room only to find out that he's tied to everything with his hair and spending the next day untying himself because he doesn't want to cut this magnificent beard, while Mikkel tries to make as much distance between himself and the Admiral as humanly possible...

And now I'm really curious about this fanfic of yours.

Also:
Not allowed to write fanfics about my superiors and co-workers.
Not allowed to put aforementioned fanfics where everyone can see them.
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JoB

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #37 on: June 02, 2015, 02:12:48 PM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 02, 2015, 08:53:37 AM
You gave me this mental image of Admiral Olsen waking up in his room only to find out that he's tied to everything with his hair and spending the next day untying himself because he doesn't want to cut this magnificent beard
Also, not allowed to send grossling hunters into superior's quarters talking about a "Drider infestation".
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RandomTexanReader

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #38 on: June 02, 2015, 02:34:46 PM »
Quote from: SectoBoss on June 02, 2015, 05:56:33 AM
From a fanfic I wrote a while ago that I've only just remembered:

I am not allowed to tie Admiral Olsen's beard braids to anything, including other parts of Admiral Olsen.
Quote from: Aierdome on June 02, 2015, 08:53:37 AM
;D :D ;D :D
You gave me this mental image of Admiral Olsen waking up in his room only to find out that he's tied to everything with his hair and spending the next day untying himself because he doesn't want to cut this magnificent beard, while Mikkel tries to make as much distance between himself and the Admiral as humanly possible...

And now I'm really curious about this fanfic of yours.

Also:
Not allowed to write fanfics about my superiors and co-workers.
Not allowed to put aforementioned fanfics where everyone can see them.
Quote from: JoB on June 02, 2015, 02:12:48 PM
Also, not allowed to send grossling hunters into superior's quarters talking about a "Drider infestation".
And now Olsen's reaction upon seeing Mikkel at his dock again seems rather tame....
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:usa:
:vaticancity: Domine, non sum dignus....
:mexico: No habla Espanol
:croatia: Hvala za nishto, dobro za nishto, mali vrag.

SectoBoss

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #39 on: June 02, 2015, 02:35:09 PM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 02, 2015, 08:53:37 AM
And now I'm really curious about this fanfic of yours.

Shameless self-promotion intensifies: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3613659
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Aierdome

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #40 on: June 02, 2015, 02:52:25 PM »
Quote from: SectoBoss on June 02, 2015, 02:35:09 PM
Shameless self-promotion intensifies: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3613659

Your shameless self-promotion is entirely justified. Even if sad, this story is great.
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SectoBoss

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #41 on: June 02, 2015, 03:00:25 PM »
Quote from: Aierdome on June 02, 2015, 02:52:25 PM
Your shameless self-promotion is entirely justified. Even if sad, this story is great.

Thank you!
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Sir.Orc

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2015, 10:55:55 PM »
Some good ones I thought up:

Not allowed to send scouts through poison ivy and then claim they have the rash
Even if they are immune
Not allowed to switch the cleanser's dynamite with hair care products
Not allowed to use cleanser equipment for cooking
I am no longer allowed near any cleanser equipment
I may not ask cleansers to cook for me
I may not ask cleansers to do anything
I am no longer allowed near cleansers without supervision
Cats do not count, no matter how smart they are

Trolls are not pacified by an offering of billy goats
Giants do not go "fee-fi-fo-fum" and I am not allowed to make information pamphlets that say otherwise
Even if we did just fight a giant that said that.
Beasts are never "good eatin"
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Trinka

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #43 on: June 12, 2015, 12:56:50 AM »
Quote from: Sir. Orc on June 11, 2015, 10:55:55 PM
Some good ones I thought up:

Not allowed to send scouts through poison ivy and then claim they have the rash
Even if they are immune
Not allowed to switch the cleanser's dynamite with hair care products
Not allowed to use cleanser equipment for cooking
I am no longer allowed near any cleanser equipment
I may not ask cleansers to cook for me
I may not ask cleansers to do anything
I am no longer allowed near cleansers without supervision
Cats do not count, no matter how smart they are

Trolls are not pacified by an offering of billy goats
Giants do not go "fee-fi-fo-fum" and I am not allowed to make information pamphlets that say otherwise
Even if we did just fight a giant that said that.
Beasts are never "good eatin"

Love it, these are too funny! The poison ivy bit killed me!
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Sir.Orc

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Re: Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:
« Reply #44 on: June 12, 2015, 01:46:18 AM »
Some more:
I will not ask icelandic mages for next week's lotto numbers. Besides they almost certainly got the tickets first.
I will not taunt or insult the spirits
Even if I  do it in runo time
Not allowed to make bets with mages to taunt spirits
Especially if they are Norwegian
As of the Saimaa incident, I am never to be given access to a kantele
I am no longer allowed to entrust classified information to the following: myself, new recruits, foreign diplomats, Trond Anderson, and Admiral Olsen
Especially Admiral Olsen
I am not the high priest of Loki and am not religiously obligated to put buckets of water over the door to the military conference room.
I am not allowed to become an ordained priest of Loki
I am not allowed to become an ordained priest of any god, deity, or supernatural entity.
Especially the Hiisi
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