Poetry collection

[corncobman]

Pg. 386

Gore Makes Sore

Gruesomely morbid.
Spattered in red.
Off the gloves slid,
That poor person's dead.

Tempers are sore.
He's snapping back.
The angry survivor,
Of a grossling attack.

Skalds blame the scouts,
No way they're at fault.
Accusations about
On a verbal assault.

On their part there
Insults were paid
Here that they'd swear.
Are no mistakes made.

Descriptions sparse,
Scouts they degrade.
But what if a farce,
Books themselves betrayed?

--------------------------------

Shut Up, Clean Up (based on Get Up, Stand Up by Bob Marley)

Shut up, clean up,
Clean up, you're a sight
Shut up, clean up
Clean up, you're a sight
Shut up, clean up
Clean up, you're a sight
Shut up, shut up,
You don't even fight

Doctor man don't tell me fortune is still on our side
To me the best case is one where no-one died
Say that we're still lucky to my friend
We weren't lucky here so don't pretend
You standing dressed in white, aay
Shut up, you don't fight. Come on

Shut up, shut up, 
You don't end the blight
Shut up, shut up,
You don't even fight
Shut up, shut up, 
You don't end the blight
Shut up, shut up,
You don't even fight

They say that the great skalds never make mistakes
Tell them all to stay outside and then see if they don't break
All that they know are in their books
They should go and take a look
And now you see our plight
So shut up, you don't fight, yeah!

Shut up, clean up, 
Got to cleanse the blight
Shut up, shut up,
I don't care who's right
Shut up, shut up, Scalds only write
And we all just fight the fight
Clean up all the blight, horror, horror
Shut up, shut up, keep on battling on
We will see the light

The skalds say the scouts were disastrously vague
They should describe things while they run from plague
You know they don't understand
A scout is only a running man
You can help some people sometimes
But you can't help all the people all the time
So now we'll clean the blight
We gonna clean up all tonight

So you'd better shut up, shut up,
Help to rid this blight
Shut up, shut up
We just have to fight
Shut up, clean up
Clean up all the blight
Shut up, clean up
Cleanse it all tonight

[corncobman]

Page-less Wednesday song thingy

Blank Wednesdays Will Kill Me
(based on Too Much Love Will Kill You by Queen)

I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many mid-weeks without a comic for me
I've nothing good to view
And I can't begrudge this for you've
Done nothing wrong

I feel like Wednesdays are far too long to me
And I never knew what kind of struggle it would be
It's a vacant empty day
That's far too dull and grey
And much too long

Blank Wednesdays will kill me
I just can't pass away this time
Torn between is boredom and the urge to make a rhyme
I'm headed for disaster 'cos it's seems like I'd just whine
Blank Wednesdays will kill me every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
The comic makes me happy
And all I ever do is rewrite songs

How would it be if there was something new to view,
Can't you see that these days just make me blue?
No, there's no making sense of it
Not a thing to do but sit and muse

Blank Wednesdays will kill me
Just as the comic makes me glad
It just drains the power that's in me
Make me listless, weak and sad
And the day will make me crazy
I'm the victim of your art
Blank Wednesdays just rip me in the heart

Blank Wednesdays will kill me
It just makes this time a lie
Yes, blank Wednesdays will kill me
And I don't understand why
I'd give my life, I'd sell my soul
Just hope it comes again
Blank Wednesdays will kill me
In the end...
In the end.

[corncobman]

Pg. 387

Young Child, Falsely Filed?

Report checking might,
End the whole fight,
Casting some light,
On the attack site,

Gathering round,
Barely a sound,
Rogue report found,
Errors abound.

Barely filled out,
Much info without.
Of this no doubt,
Vague from the scout.

Scout of the night,
Devoid of height,
Did he do right,
Was it his report light?

Closer they see,
For scrutiny,
Stare wordlessly,
Who could it be?

-----------------------------------

'Yes', I Say (Based on Yesterday by the Beatles)

'Yes', I say. All that this page says is 'yes', okay?
It's so vague and badly filled by they,
Oh, only thing is 'yes', you say?

Seemingly, this report was filled out improperly,
There's a blank space here where words should be,
Oh, 'yes' the only thing that you can see.

Why's this report so?
I don't know, it doesn't say.
It shows nothing wrong,
Blank except for 'yes', okay?

'Yes', I say. This is such a barren dossier.
All the skalds are visibly dismayed
Oh, clearly only 'yes', I say.

Why's this report so?
I don't know, it doesn't say.
It's barely ten words long,
Detail's not the best, okay?

No mistake, this manifest is such a bad display
This night scout only wrote it down halfway.
Oh, clearly only 'yes' conveyed...

[Mikko]

Page 384

99. The Verse of the Cookies
Three tea sconces for the Icelanders beyond the sea
seven gingersnaps for the Norsemen pining at their fjords
nine muffins for the Swedes who tall are, blond and free
One Bisquit to the Cat Boy mightier than greatest lords,
In whatever land, the Super Sextet roams.

One bisquit to rule him all, One bisquit to find him,
One Bisquit to Bring him home and in the Mikkel's cookie satchel bind him.
In whatever land, the Super Sextet roams.

Page 385

100. To the Memories (Lalli Will Find a Way)

In a maze of ruined past
flying like the wind so fast
as a cat swift on his feet
all alone goes scout this fleet.

All about the narrow streets
desolation him there greets
dark walls loom above, around
as feet leap on snowy ground.

There to find was sent the way
ere will come the end of day
ere night shadows close harsh in
must find safest paths this Finn.

Cold is air and cold is earth
foul, cruel things the dark might birth
unless havens will he find
midst the streets that twist and wind.

But his mind then races on
to the days of past all gone
when was air of autumn sweet
there his memories old to meet.

Thoughts like thousands fly away
birchen leaves of autumn's day
from white winter's sullen face
mind flies to a warmer place.

Days of past like flowing stream
pass through thoughts like distant dream
days gone by, his days of youth
calming come his doubts to soothe.


101. Mirror Mirror
Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
Answer: Oh she's redhead spazzy, tall, Sigrun's fairest of them all.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all:
Answer: Emil Sigrun's equal fair, might surpass her by a hair.

I find that hard to refute
Tuuri is just so darn cute!

Reynir with his braid of hair
also seems to be quite fair.

Mikkel on the other hand
further from fair just might land.

Derpykitty all will top
justly is cream of the crop!

Page 386

102. Skalds' Judgement

Things ran sour
Finns look dour
on this horrid nightmare hour.

Victims piling
skalds keep filing
attack from this cruel compiling.

Medic sighing
soldiers dying
tried to save healing applying.

Captain grunting
failed the hunting
monsters while men were confronting.

Scouts defaming
skald are naming
for this failure them are blaming.

With solution
absolution
what escape scouts prosecution?

Page 387

103. Laying Blame

Laying blame
that will defame
this is one such ugly game.

Finding fault
without halt
person will pay for assault.

We have file
of this vile
villain who will stand for trial.

Here it reads
reveals deeds
YES that guilt all over bleeds.

Come now hey
he must pay
atonement harsh is only way!

You are done
guilty one
mercy will be given none!

[corncobman]

Pg. 388

Nothing But Shame

Away he runs the lonely scout,
He's not willing to hang about,
They all know who is to blame.
Shame! The burning shame!

The rest gather to get some grub,
But not the younger scouting cub.
Using words is pretty lame.
Shame! In eternal shame!

Out the green slop from the vat,
Tuuri wonders where he's at.
Daren't even speak his name.
Shame! Carrying only shame!

Looking wistful with a glance.
Get fed while you have the chance.
He's not going to play that game.
Shame! Wallow in this shame!

When he's hungry he'll be back,
But for now the mood is black.
Things aren't going to be the same.
Shame! For endless shame!

--------------------------------------

Peas, Peas, Peas
(based on Please, Please, Please by the Who)

Peas, peas, peas, peas me (slop into my bowl)
Mushy peas, sloppy peas, peas me (green mush for my soul)
Squelchy peas, greenish peas to go (make my bowl to go)
To go, I said lady, go lady
Make mine to go (make my bowl to go)

Lady, you know where my cousin is, he went away? (Lalli's on a stroll)
You said, you said, you said I'll see him again today (hunger takes its toll)
I said, lady, lady, peas, to go (mushed peas for my soul)
To go, yes lady, yes lady
Make mine to go (make my bowl to go)

Take this bowl for a start

Lady, green peas for my soul (pea soup for my soul)
Lady, lady give me, spoon into my wooden bowl (spoon into my bowl)
Lady please, baby please to go (green peas please to go)
To go, I said lady, yes lady
Make mine to go (make my bowl to go)

Peas, peas, peas, peas me (slop into my bowl)
Mushy peas, sloppy peas, peas me (green mush for my soul)
Squelchy peas, greenish peas to go (make my bowl to go)
To go, I said lady, go lady
Make mine to go (make my bowl to go)

[Sunflower]

A variation on "The Lumberjack Song," from p. 376


Minando
"Lalli is a night scout and he is okay,
he works all night
and sleeps all day..."

Pobbes 
He scouts his routes,
He eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays, he scalps doggies,
and sings songs up in tress...

VRJensen1
Lalli's a night scout and he's okay
He works all night
and sleeps all day
likes to dress in Finnish clothing
and hangs around in cars.

wavewright62 
He scouts his routes
He runs all night
He doesn't talk or eat
By day he dreams of Finland
And solitude so sweet.

[corncobman]

Pg. 389

Not Alone, Cover Blown, To Atone?

About her cousin, Tuuri makes a guess.
Her face, one of sadness and stress.
He's gone off alone for his recess.
Drowning his sorrows with food, more or less.

With a dried meat ring seemingly endowed.
Ruminating until his name is called out loud.
Another person has come away from the crowd.
With almost an air of disappointment enshroud.

We see the face of the cat's cousin Onni,
Determined not to leave Lalli be.
Will he give solace to the wayward kitty,
Or discipline to him, who got off easy?

[corncobman]

Pg. 390

Never Again, Hotakainen!

Onni presses for Lalli to explain,
One that he'll accept as a reason why.
Lalli, never try that excuse again!
That defense you just gave will not fly.

Your role is not that of another man.
One mistake too many, unforgiving.
Spare a thought for your dear old nan.
She made one too and she's no longer living...

He urges Lalli to return and get some real food.
The cold shoulder he gives, off alone to his bed.
Brushing Onni off, in a still sulking mood.
To lie on his mattress or rather under instead.

----------------------------------------------

Don't Try That Again!
(based on Won't Get Fooled Again by The Who)

You were scouting in the trees
And you missed a deadly beast
And some comrades that were our friends will be gone
And the men who checked your books
Have just let you off the hook
They decided the mistakes carry on

I've asked you nicely for your explanation
But the excuses in your declaration
Will not help those people that were downed
Your job is not like fun and games
Only have yourself to blame
You bring our family to shame
Well don't try that again

Mistakes, they had to come
I knew it all along
You were separated from your folks, I know
Should have taught you better, yes
Your last job made a mess
'Cause your reports, they are vague and content low

It was all down to your poor observation
I hope you accept your re-education
We are all duty and honour bound
Just hear what I have to say
Don't just stuff your face
Then come back with me to that place
Well don't try that again
No, no!

We moved ourselves and our family aside
All those beasties would all eat us alive
I got all my prayers and plead at the sky
Did you know that your grandma's error cost her life?
Do ya?

Your food's not good to eat
Follow me and get some meat
And there's leftover pea soup, by-the-bye
There aren't many of us left
Now I hope that you'll do right
All the towns have all lost members overnight

Now you walk away to my frustration
I have to worry for your preparation
Stare and just hope that you'll come around
Lalli don't just walk away
You make me dismayed
Then in your dreams I will have my way
Well don't try that again
Don't try that again
No, no!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Meet the new mage
Same as the old mage

[corncobman]

Still page 390:

Your Explanation
(based on My Generation by The Who)

People try to put us d-down (I await your explanation)
Just because we look around (I await your explanation)
Never try that excuse ag-g-gain (I await your explanation)
I think I'll have to make you re-train (I await your explanation)

What is your explanation?
What is your explanation, Lalli?

Why didn't you use w-words that day? (I await your explanation)
No mistakes are permitted ok-k-kay (I await your explanation)
I'm not looking for the whole n-n-arration (I await your explanation)
I'm just waitin' for your e-e-explanation (I await your explanation)

What is your explanation?
What is your explanation, Lalli?

Why didn't you use w-words that day? (I await your explanation)
No mistakes are permitted ok-k-kay (I await your explanation)
I'm not looking for the whole n-n-arration (I await your explanation)
I'm just waitin' for your e-e-explanation (I await your explanation)

What is your explanation?
What is your explanation, Lalli?

People try to put us d-down (I await your explanation)
Just because we look around (I await your explanation)
Never try that excuse ag-g-gain (I await your explanation)
Yeah, I think I'll have to make you re-train (I await your explanation)

What is your explanation?
What is your explanation, Lalli?

[corncobman]

Pg. 391

Rock Slide, Bright-Eyed, Their Guide

Lalli walks away from his past,
Aside thoughts of former years cast.
Back to the present scene but alas,
Forward facing, a wall of rocks amassed.

He takes a moment to survey the scene,
Alone in the wild, his senses keen.
Now ready for this task, lean and mean,
Searching the path, the scout of nineteen.

Head down, chin up, his eyes bright.
Utilising the utmost best of his sight.
The diminutive scout, frame only slight.
He now accelerates, to take flight.

--------------------------------------------

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac (with a few small changes)

I took your help and turned it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered town
Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what's this strife?
Has the child returned from my past life?
Can I sail through this path with no mistakes?
Can I handle this knowing what's at stake?

Well, I know now of the danger
'Cause I've gone this time without you
But time makes you colder
Even children get older
And I'm getting bolder too

Well, I know now of the danger
'Cause I've gone this time without you
But time makes you colder
Even children get older
And I'm getting bolder too
Oh, I'm getting bolder too

I took your help and turned it down
I see a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered town
Will the landslide bring you down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered town
Will the landslide bring us down, oh, oh
The landslide bring me down

[corncobman]

Pg. 392

Dark Walk in the Park

Silent and swift, the cat vanguard swept,
Dashing to and fro, breakneck pace kept.
And circling back, the scouting adept.
The vehicle lagging in his path thus stepped.

The left and right paths blocked, they're no-go.
Marking the route forward, the cat in the snow.
Arrows pointing forth the correct choice to show.
Lalli rushes forward, he's not so slow...

Finally the cat tank catches up, slow painful work,
Reaching the four-way fork, already marked.
"Hum." is Sigrun's only utterance with snark.
The only way now is through the front alley dark.

--------------------------------------------------

Streets Of Copenhagen
(based on Hotel California by The Eagles)

On a dark urban by-way, cool wind in my hair
Small specks of the snowflakes, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I only saw one way out
The path grew narrow and the light grew dim
No reason to hang about
There I marked on the pathway
So that they all could tell
And I only closed both my eyes
This will certainly not turn out well
Then they followed behind me, and I showed them the way
Only one way, through the corridor
We should have brought a sleigh...

Welcome to the streets of Copenhagen
Such a lonely place (Such a lonely place)
Such an empty place
Nobody's home in the streets of Copenhagen
Any time of year (Any time of year)
Only trolls are here

Her mind is definitely twisted, she got the most loudest voice
She got a lot of stupid, stupid tasks, I have no choice
Forced to run in the courtyard and search for threats
I said that I'd do it, too late for regrets

So I marked out the arrows, "This is the way to go"
I need to scout on up ahead now since the car-thing is too slow
And still my mission is leading them out today
Woke me up even though it's not night
Just to find a way...

Welcome to the streets of Copenhagen
Such a lonely place (Such a lonely place)
Such an empty place
No-one but us in the streets of Copenhagen
Use my eagle-eyes (use my eagle-eyes)
Hope that no-one dies

The lights up behind me, crawling cat-tank on ice
And I know we are all just travellers here, with our new supplies
I know not what's ahead here
No idea in the least
We only have these tiny knives
And we're forced to fight the beasts

I'm still wide awake now, I'm still running through the street
I had to find the safe route through so I can rest up my feet
It's been a long night, man
I am made for tasks like these
You have to follow in my footsteps now
Be quicker, if you please

[corncobman]

Page 393:

Nice Knowing You, My Former Crew...

It becomes now more clear that
The scout might not be most best.
Tuuri's not sure how he'll react
When he's put to the test.

The vehicular crew
Grow increasingly worried.
Sigrun bids their rear ends adieu,
As their scout ahead hurried.

Sigrun bids them farewell,
Hopes they'll chat in the beyond.
A disaster she foretells,
Tuuri had them all conned.

Lalli utters some kind of grunt,
He's now unsure of the way.
He grows more uneasy in front,
This is not his most best day.

He then looks around
With his head in his hands.
Ominous things surround,
This was not at all planned...

-----------------------------

We'll Be Dead
(based on Much Too Much by The Who)

We'll be dead, I swear

Our scout has run too fast
Looks like our time's well past
Not the road we need
We're gonna croak it, I see
Gonna croak
Not so good it's just dawned on me

And soon we'll be dead, I swear

In Valhalla we'll meet I hope
I hope you see
At the end of my rope
But this lead's too heavy on me

And now we'll be dead, I swear

It was nice meeting you
I tried to be most best leader true
Not awesome, oh I see.
Meet our maker, guaranteed
We're dead, you see
'Cause this lead's too heavy on me

And soon we'll be dead, I swear

There was a time I could laugh and encourage you
But my enthusiasm's waned and the truth is we're doomed
It was most nice knowing all of you

Much too much to bear

Our scout has run too fast
Looks like our time's well past
Not the road we need
We're gonna croak it, you see
Gonna croak
Not so good it's just dawned on me

And soon we'll be dead, I swear

[Noxyoursox]

Expedition Crew:
Ding Dong! The Troll is dead. Which old Troll? The Flesh-Blob Troll!
Ding Dong! The Flesh-Blob Troll is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Flesh-Blob Troll is dead. It's gone where the dvergar go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and let the scout in.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Flesh-Blob Troll is dead!

Sigrun:
As Most Best of this expedition, In this city of the Silent World, I welcome you most regally.

Tuuri:
But we've got to verify it legally, to see

Sigrun:
To see?

Tuuri:
If it

Sigrun:
If it?

Tuuri:
Is morally, ethic'lly

Lalli:
Spiritually, physically

Emil:
Positively, absolutely

Whole Crew:
Undeniably and reliably Dead

Mikkel:
As Medic here I must admit, I thoroughly examined it.
And it's not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead.

Sigrun:
Then this is a day of celebration
For all who survive this expedition!

Emil:
If any.

Sigrun:
Yes, let the joyous news be spread The Fleshy-Blob Troll at last is dead!

[corncobman]

Pg. 394

Attack the Meat-Sac

Into the heart of hearts,
Lalli walks deeper in.
From his team further apart,
The socially-averse Finn.

He gets all up close,
His stomach like brass.
Almost touching his nose,
To the repulsive mass.

At the dangling objects,
He takes aim with his fist.
Don't know what to expect
From the horrible cysts.

Quickly his limb is thrust.
Sickening meaty impact...
The clean strike is just
Confirmed by a loud "SMACK"!

------------------------------

These Meaty Blobs
(based on Three Little Birds by Bob Marley)

I'm worried about these things,
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?
Singin':I'm worried about these things,
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?

Walk up this buildin',
Ahead of everyone,
These meaty blobs
By my weary head
Scary red things
My horrific sights so true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Singin': I'm worried 'bout these things,
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?
Singin': I'm worried (I'm worried) 'bout these things,
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?

Walk up this buildin',
Ahead of everyone,
These meaty blobs
By my weary head
Scary red things
My horrific sights so true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"

Singin': I'm worried about these things, worried about these things, oh!
Are these meaty things gonna be alive? I'm worried!
Singin': I'm worried about these things - I'm so worried!
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?

Singin': I'm worried about these things,
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?- I'm so worried!
Singin': I'm worried about these things
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?
Singin': I'm worried about these things, oh no!
'Cause are these meaty things gonna be alive?

[corncobman]

Pg. 395

Scout on Strike

Lalli's pre-emptive strike has no reaction.
He throws more punches to get satisfaction.
Blow by blow the blob undergoes subtraction.
Until it's reduced down to mere fractions.

In flurry of fists, like a boxing cyclone.
The fleshy mass to pieces he has now blown.
On his knees, exhausted, he then bemoans.
He can't check them all when he's alone.

He turns his head and gathers his wind.
Thumps his chest, the ever headstrong Finn.
Preparing a spell, drawing strength from within.
To make the dead meat's presence all the more thinned?