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95. A Tank Rumble (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Dashing through the snow
In a one-cat armored car
Over bridge we go
fast as shooting star!
Tank treads clanking ring
Making all crew heave
What fun it is to drive and sing
A Cat Tank song this eve!
Oh! Rumble tread, rumble wheel
Rumble down the bank
Oh! What fun it is to drive
In a one-cat armored tank!
Rumble tread, rumble wheel
Rumble down the bank
Oh! What fun it is to drive
In a one-cat armored tank!
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96. Snow CrisisIn the crisp cold Danish day
had the snow cruel cut their way
Cat Mobile had ice and rime
called to halt and stopped this time.
Kept those falling snowflakes white
seemed calm weather threat despite
innocent white landscape's grace
now snow crisis they would face.
Road was blocked by bank of snow
piling snow drifts there would grow
sieged they were, was all around
whiteness, them snow did surround.
Shovels, ploughs, bonfires, they
all suggested to make way
for their trusty tank through snow
with which to bring wall this low.
All were techniques far too slow
those suggested to slay snow
they would get stuck, or worse, freeze
in this whirling biting breeze.
Then the Cat Boy, Lalli brave
out stepped without boots to save
his kinswoman, crewmates dear
quick in snow did disappear.
Where on earth did Cat Boy go
hopefully next day will show
then shall be revealed his deed,
and we will from suspense freed.
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97. A Spell to Banish ColdOK here is a small spell to banish the cold in Kalevala style (in Finnish and in English). Interestingly Kalevala holds a poem where Lemminkäinen, one of the heroes is faced with Cold and when he knows its origins he can conquer it. The principle is similar to the idea of true name in magic, which holds power over the being and knowing it will allow you to have power of the person whose true name you know.
I did not recount the origins of Cold here as it would have taken too long time but my spell assumes the shaman actively threatens the Cold by stating he knows its origins and has potentially power over it so it had better leave in a hurry before the shaman will hurt it for real.
Pakkanen puhurin poika
kylmä poika Pohjolasta
vainolainen hyietyinen
henki jäinen yön tuvilta.
Kuule poika pahalainen
jäinen lapsi lappalainen
minun ankara sanani
kova korvin käskyeni.
Synnyt syvät sulle tunnen
emot elosi esitän
jos et kauas kaikkoisihe
pakosalle paha lapsi.
Tunnen syytkin synnyllesi
olollesi alut oudot
kaikki nimet noiduttusi
taidan loihe lausumahan.
Jos et halla hyinen lähde
jos ei huurteesi häviä
jos ei tuulet tuimat taitu
jos et tuki tuiskujasi.
Laulan järvet, laulan niemet
laulan kannakset kapeat
laulan läänitkin leveät
kaikki lumehettomiksi,
paikat pakkasettomiksi!
Pakkanen puhurin poika,
hyinen lapsi läyletyinen
lähde täältä muille maille
sua kurjaa tai kuritan!
Ota suunta suoriakses'
kuni kokkolintu lennä
kunnes pääset Pohjolahan
Pimentolan portin luokse.
Siellä seisoo rakki ruoja
musta, kalmankarvallinen
joka vartoo vartijana
Louhettaren kartanolla.
Sinne lennä Louhen lapsi
emon kansan kartanoille
maille valtavanhempasi
ison inhan tantereille.
Kulje kuuden portin kautta
taakse lukoin luvutonten
kylmän kiven kammioihin
Pohjolan kivimäkehen.
Siellä uinu unetonna
voimatonna vaeltele
alla lukoin luvutonten
sanoin synnyn sidottuna!
Translation:
O thee Cold the son of galewinds
infant cold from darkest Northland
o you foeman fierce and freezing
icy spirit from night's dwellings
Harken boy you evil tempered
frostchild of Northest Lapland
hear word harsh that I now utter
cold command with thine ears listen.
Know I deep thy birth origins
can recall thine birthing mother
if thee do not fly from this place
offspring evil run away thence.
Known to me the cause of thy birth
of thy being's strange are beginnings
all thy names from incantations
I can call forth with spell chanting.
If Frost freezing thee won't vanish
if thy rime will not be banished
if winds will not harsh abate now
if you do not bind your blizzards
I will sing all lakes and headlands
isthmuses I'll sing all narrow
provinces the widest chant so
snow shall never ground theirs cover
from whence all cold will be banished.
O thee Cold the son of galewinds
chilling child who causeth anguish
leave from thence to lands uncharted
or I'll punish thee oh wretched!
Take thy course to flee from this place
as an eagle would fly soaring
until Northrealm have you reached and
by the gate thee are of Darkhold.
There stands mongrel dog most horrid
black and in death's colour shrouded
who awaits there guarding ever
Louhetar's realm, fields and holdings.
Fly thee there oh child of Louhi
holds of thy own mother's people
to lands of thy ruling elder
to the fields of thy foul father.
Through six portals travel then thee
under locks uncounted ushered
chambers to of cold stone fated
to stonemountain of the Northrealm.
There thee sleepest without dreaming
powerless shall there now wander
under locks there dwell uncounted
bound by words of thine creation!
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98. Gilded GuiltWhen things all dire look one day
a dead end looms, you've lost your way
if cousin scout's was thwarted plan
and go no further you then can,
there is one weapon, innate built
it is your ally, use the guilt!
Recall all people sweet and dear
remember folks from far and near
who trust you, give you love, respect
who raised you both and did protect.
Remind your cousin with your cries
of disappointment in their eyes.
Remind, press firmly to his mind
that it's his fault this current bind
and how old granny sweet and nice
would failure utter this despise.
How mom and dad and cousins, kin
consider this most awful sin.
If this does not performance help
you always can again give yelp
admonish his failed duty, grace
remind how now he'll lose his face
will crewmates all and you him curse
think less of him or something worse.
So is the weapon innate built
in trouble handy, ah that guilt.
-Mikko-
