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Courtesy of Gene Pitney from "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance", which had three of my favorite actors:
Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne and Lee Marvin.
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THE MAN WHO HIRED EMIL VÄSTERSTRÖM
When Emil Västerström came to town
The books would run and hide, they'd hide
When Emil Västerström walked around
The crew would cringe inside
'Cause The Way of the Derp was the only thing
That Västerström understood
When it came to breaking rear-view mirrors
He was mighty good
From out of the east there came a cat
Who walked upon two legs, a mage
The kind of a mage the crew would need
To scout and keep them safe
Finnish and cat were the only tongues
This skinny mage understood
When it came to sensing trolls and cookies
He was mighty good
Many a book would face his wrath
And many a book would fall
The man who hired Emil Västerström
He hired Emil Västerström
He was the derpest of them all
They got a captain from the north
A head above the rest, most best
A captain eager to grab the books
And put the trolls to rest
And the point of a blade
Was the only law that Sigrun understood
When it came to slicing trolls and giants
She was mighty good
Alone and afraid did Emil go
In hall as black as night, ah, step light
Just looking for golf books he could grab
And duck a grossling fight
From the moment you enter the Silent World
The very first thing you learn
If you split your team and walk away
Maybe none return
Everyone heard two screams ring out
Before he fired the hall
The man who hired Emil Västerström
He hired Emil Västerström
He was the derpest of them all
The man who hired Emil Västerström
He hired Emil Västerström
He was the derpest of them all
