Author Topic: The SSSS Scriptorium  (Read 899717 times)

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1470 on: February 04, 2016, 08:20:49 PM »
OwlsGO, you have a wonderful gift for unexpected phrases that are hilarious.
I lost it at "...could in fact have been a canoe with a wig on..."

I happened to be looking at one at the time I wrote that line.
I have some extremely weird neighbours.
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

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Sunflower

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1471 on: February 04, 2016, 09:03:31 PM »
frostykitty I can't seem to open the first spoiler tag? I've noticed that if I put punctuation in the "spoiler=something or other" section it doesn't work, for some reason. Excited to read the next part though!

I just posted about this problem over on the Gender thread.
The apostrophe is the only symbol that breaks the spoiler code.  Everything else (.&*?!) seems to be OK.  Why our Forum code rejects the humble apostrophe, I don't know.

As a temporary measure, you can see what's in a broken spoiler by quoting that post.  But hopefully the original author won't mind editing the "spoiler=something or other" part. 
"The music of what happens," said great Fionn, "that is the finest music in the world."
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frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1472 on: February 04, 2016, 09:13:30 PM »
I have edited it, should be okay now... It is right? Or did I mess it up again?

OwlsG0 I personally like that Siv is teaching him how to beat his rivals in to submission I mean, uh, self defense. It seems in character to me. I love the story.

As for the writing of the new chapter, I have seemed to have picked up Writer's Block... The dreaded word... So this chapter might end up being pretty short.

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1473 on: February 04, 2016, 10:11:29 PM »

As for the writing of the new chapter, I have seemed to have picked up Writer's Block... The dreaded word... So this chapter might end up being pretty short.

Hang in there, pal, we all get it. I find the best thing to do when you need stimulation for your writing organ is to go out and get it. I take a walk or a bike ride (if I'm being foolhardy enough to brave the swooping magpies), and just looking around gives my writer's mind a visual overload.
One time I went out for a bike-ride with the intention of just getting some exercise, and by the time I came back I had planned a war vehicle for an original story, with the architecture based off the bicycle I was on.
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1474 on: February 04, 2016, 11:39:05 PM »
I just posted about this problem over on the Gender thread.
The apostrophe is the only symbol that breaks the spoiler code.  Everything else (.&*?!) seems to be OK.  Why our Forum code rejects the humble apostrophe, I don't know.

As a temporary measure, you can see what's in a broken spoiler by quoting that post.  But hopefully the original author won't mind editing the "spoiler=something or other" part.
This is a test:
Spoiler: Isn’t it strange? • show

Does this open?

EDIT: The above spoiler opens for me. I think it's because the apostrophe in its title is directionally biased rather than the 'generic' one some text programs generate/use. Examples:
'unbiased'
‘biased’
Can you see the difference?
« Last Edit: February 04, 2016, 11:43:30 PM by LooNEY_DAC »

Sunflower

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1475 on: February 05, 2016, 01:12:58 AM »
This is a test:
Spoiler: Isn’t it strange? • show

Does this open?

EDIT: The above spoiler opens for me. I think it's because the apostrophe in its title is directionally biased rather than the 'generic' one some text programs generate/use. Examples:
'unbiased'
‘biased’
Can you see the difference?

Your spoiler does open.  How clever to figure out that a directional apostrophe (or single quote) won't break the spoiler even though the generic, upright one does!
"The music of what happens," said great Fionn, "that is the finest music in the world."
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Kiraly

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1476 on: February 05, 2016, 10:29:02 AM »
I have edited it, should be okay now... It is right? Or did I mess it up again?

OwlsG0 I personally like that Siv is teaching him how to beat his rivals in to submission I mean, uh, self defense. It seems in character to me. I love the story.

As for the writing of the new chapter, I have seemed to have picked up Writer's Block... The dreaded word... So this chapter might end up being pretty short.

No worries, you fixed it. I think Sunflower was just letting us know about the apostrophe problem. (It's so weird it just gets bothered by that! At least now I know I can use other punctuation safely...)

I've been having a mild form of writer's block too. What's frustrating is I know (roughly) what's going to happen in the chapter I'm writing, but my speed at actually writing it has slowed to a crawl. I'm hoping I can get in a good head space to do some writing this weekend, but we'll see. I sometimes have better luck getting out of a block if I get away from the computer and write on paper for a while to get the words flowing.

OwlsG0, those are good suggestions too! I might have to go for a walk this weekend, since it seems like the weather won't be too bad.
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frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1477 on: February 05, 2016, 04:35:06 PM »
OwlsG0; Sitting outside in the cold with a fluff-ball of a bantam hen seems to work, too, as I've now found out. Thank you!

And Kiraly, that's exactly what's up with me. Just wording things is so hard for me. If I use one word too much, sometimes I look for synonyms, but they're all different for me. For example, if I read 'said', it's just a quote, however if I read 'spoke', I veiw it more solemn, more serious. And 'mumbled' and 'muttered' are also viewed differently. So that's my main problem, because I veiw it exactly like that, but I've used that word within the last few lines and want them to be spaced out more... Ugh, my head is weird.

BUT HEY! It ended up longer than I thought!
Spoiler: return to silence; part one, chapter six • show
{chapter 6}

"So in morning we'll be heading back? You just want us to help you check your base, that's all?" Erika looked up at Sigrun who just nodded. "Are you sure? I mean, since we'll have to go back before we finish our mission, we might be able to spare a box of supplies..." Viktor glanced at her and shrugged.

"Might." He mumbled, looking back at the captain. Sigrun had a hand on her chin, seemingly considering this.

"Eh, we double checked the crates before we left so we have everything. We don't have enough room right now." Emil's shoulders fell as he realized he wouldn't get any new explosives.
 
"Okay, but we'll probably be leaving sometime tomorrow, so if you change your mind..."

"We couldn't use up that much stuff in one night, keep your supplies." Sigrun waved a hand and grabbed her rifle. "It's all good?" Lalli gave a small nod but didn't move his glare from Erika. "Hm, okay... Emil, go help Mikkel set up extra beds." She said, watching the scout suspiciously. Tuuri stepped down on to the snow with a crunch, mask on. It was over her feet, at the very least. Lalli hopped over to his cousin and tapped her shoulder.

"Tuuri, the girl is sick!" He hissed, pointing to Erika with disdain. Tuuri shook her head in disbelief.

"Erika? She couldn't be... She didn't have any open wounds, and she said she had her mask on the whole time."

"She is sick! Do you doubt me?"

"Well, not usually but I-"

"She. Is. Sick!" Lalli repeated, turning Tuuri around so she could face him. He stared at her, blue gaze boring in to hers.

After a small pause Tuuri nodded slowly. "I'll talk to Mikkel..." She mumbled before going back to the tank. Lalli seemed to calm down a little, the cleansers and Sigrun giving the broken down buildings (which seemed to have been transformed into greenhouses) a more thorough investigation. Inside the tank, Mikkel and Emil had just finished setting up three extra 'beds' made entirely out of blankets. It would probably be good enough. Until Tuuri tripped on one. She squeaked but was able to catch herself.

"Uh, Mikkel? Lalli is concerned about someone's health..." Tuuri said quietly as Emil tried to fix the bed she had stepped on. Mikkel looked down at her questionably.

"Who is he concerned about? And how so?"

"He, um, thinks Erika might have the Rash..." The words were almost a whisper. Emil glanced up at her in disbelief.

"She couldn't pos-"

"Very well, I'll have to check. In the meantime, get Reynir his mask and explain what's going on. You two stay inside with Emil. Do not let anyone inside until decontaminated." The healer sighed and gathered a few things before stepping outside. Lalli greeted him with silence and wide eyes, tracking the movement of something no one could see. "So what seems to be wrong?" Mikkel said slowly, hoping the scout could understand well enough to guess what he said. Lalli's gaze briefly flicked to him before returning to the trail.

"The girl is sick, you have to prove to the others." He muttered, leaning on the tank.

"Tuuri told me the Rash, where is it?" This, Lalli couldn't understand enough to attempt a guess.

"The girl is sick..." He repeated, narrowing his eyes. Just then it became apparent what he was watching through the walls of buildings. The cleansers and captain had just stumbled out of a once-was house, blotches of ash on their clothes.

"T-There was a, a troll sleeping in the chimney... Nothing to worry about, it's gone now!" Sigrun coughed into her fist as she neared the tank once again. "Are the beds set up Mikkel? Hey, why do you have that little medical-box-thing out here?"

"There were some concerns I must investigate. Erika, could you please come here?" Mikkel spoke calmly, it was almost unsettling.

"Uh, sure... What's wrong?" The female cleanser asked, adjusting her mask and moving in front of the healer.

"We'll have to find out." He looked at Lalli expectantly. The scout gave him a quizzical look but figured it out after a moment and tapped the back of Erika's neck. She flinched at the touch. "Do you mind pulling down your collar?" The girl raised an eyebrow, but turned her back to him and rolled down her shirt collar, pulling her curly hair out of the way.

It was not a good sign.


Spoiler: notessss • show
So what about the Lalli there? Still not too good, huh? He's just hard for me to write for, for some reason. I don't know why, but he is.
But yes, the Rash. It hasn't spread too far, just on the back on her neck. Small, not full toll or something. And I just finished it a while ago, so alert me to any spelling/grammar mistakes, please and thanks.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2016, 09:16:31 PM by frostykitty »

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1478 on: February 05, 2016, 08:52:07 PM »

BUT HEY! It ended up longer than I thought!
Spoiler: return to silence; part one, chapter six • show
{chapter 6}
Spoiler: notessss • show
So what about the Lalli there? Still not too good, huh? He's just hard for me to write for, for some reason. I don't know why, but he is.
But yes, the Rash. It hasn't spread too far, just on the back on her neck. Small, not full toll or something. And I just finished it a while ago, so alert me to any spelling/grammar mistakes, please and thanks.


I think one of the things that makes Lalli a challenging character to interpret is his silence. We know what he's like as a quiet person- Minna has done a beautiful job with the subtlety of his expressions and little actions and interactions with the other characters, and has overall established an incredibly awkward character.

Awkward people are hard to write as a general rule. Even when you are one, because part of the awkwardness is not knowing how you come off to other people when you're being awkward. I speak from experience, which is why it's easy for me to write the internal dialogue of someone going through an agony of indecision. But when there's a choice to make? FORGEDDABOUTIT

Lalli is an absolute pill to write, but at the same time, I find it's quite rewarding when you have managed to write him. You did a pretty damned good job of Lall in his panic mode, and got that little Hokatainen touch of smug arrogance down pat as well. I guess Lalli is just a character we all struggle with in general? Actually, Mikkel's a blooming pain to get right as well.
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1479 on: February 05, 2016, 09:50:58 PM »
*GASP* Really? I-I did Lalli somewhat well? I'm honestly amazed. And for some reason Mikkel is easier for me to write for, but I guess he could be out of character this whole time and I've been absolutely oblivious to it.
But the thing about Lalli is, he does speak if everyone around him doesn't just speak some gibberish of a language and/or he's now about to hurl from motion sickness. Or maybe he only talks to Onni. Really, it's probably just me over complicating things, seems likely.

And then I found a pencil and doodled Erika in my style... I accidentally drew the eyes too low, then reproportioned everything smaller... other than the hair which I ended up forgetting about. Sorry about the lack of descriptions in the story, there are more in seven. And if chapter seven is lacking description, still, then say so and I will add it! I can see the setting in my head every time I write parts of the story, so I just need the words.

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1480 on: February 05, 2016, 10:22:00 PM »
Frostykitty, it's getting good. Keep going, I'm interested to see what happens next. And I see you've worked out one of the things I found that made Lalli easier to write, which is that I figure a good chunk of his attention is always on what's going on in the subtle world. He may come across as a total space cadet, staring wide-eyed at stuff invisible to other people, but he's watching the ghosts, the spirits of the trolls, the warped life-energy of the disease, the landspirits....all that stuff. Once you get that, his behaviour makes much more ense!
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LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1481 on: February 06, 2016, 12:29:43 AM »
Roll on, frostykitty!

But meanwhile, here's a sort-of rewrite:

Mikkel’s Malmö Misadventures
A “Stand Still. Stay Silent” fanfic
Part 1
Spoiler: show
An Alternate Beginning

My name is Mikkel Madsen. I used to be a spy, until I decided to resign...

The first thing Mikkel Madsen noticed when he woke was the bad taste in his mouth. Someone had stun-gunned him.

The next thing he noticed was how very Icelandic his surroundings were. Not only was all the signage in Icelandic, but the architecture, road style, and a dozen other big things and small screamed Iceland at Mikkel. Naturally, he therefore presumed he was somewhere in Finland.

*

Mikkel looked on askance as the red-haired Norwegian fury took out another contingent of guards. Whoever was paying Sigrun to break him out of this “upscale gated community” was getting their money’s worth. Of course, that was why Sigrun was the go-to girl when it came to ops like this.

Eventually, however, there was no one left for Sigrun to fight, so she could turn her full attention to Mikkel. He put up his hands in a placatory gesture, but Sigrun proved implacable as ever, ignoring his attempts to assure her that he would not be fool enough to resist in favor of stun-gunning him into oblivion.

*

For the second time in under a week, Mikkel came to with a bad taste in his mouth. This time, however, his hands and feet were bound, his eyes covered and his mouth gagged. “Sorry, big fellow,” Sigrun’s cheerful voice told him from somewhere to his left, “but I couldn’t chance you changing your mind about coming along peacefully at the last minute. I’ll have you out of those soon enough.”

Before she could say any more, her phone rang. Mikkel snorted through his gag. Unless his ears deceived him, Sigrun was still using the old car phone she’d had when he first met her, all those years ago. Mikkel had thought the telecom companies didn’t service those type of phones anymore, but he was wrong.

“Wait, what?” Sigrun sputtered, breaking into Mikkel’s rather nostalgic reflections. “You’re cancelling the job? WHAT ABOUT MY FEE?”

Mikkel could hear the panic in the swift response even from where he sat. Evidently, her erstwhile former employers knew of Sigrun’s standard response to being denied her fees.

“Great,” Sigrun groaned. “What am I supposed to do with a hundred kilos and more of recalcitrant Dane? Hmmmmmm...” After a considerable bit of thought, Sigrun snapped her fingers. “OK, I’ve got it! I’ll just drop you off in Malmö so you can ‘await further developments’. I’ve got a buddy there doing a job who can put you up in a pinch.”

*

Sigrun’s “buddy” was a young, golden-haired pretty boy named Emil, which surprised Mikkel, until he snuck a look at Emil’s quite comprehensive explosives lab. Trust Sigrun to take to a budding firebug. Emil was obviously somewhat in awe of her, which was normal enough.

Before Sigrun could really get to wheedling Emil into doing her bidding, though, Emil’s cell rang. Emil listened to his caller for a few minutes, confusion deepening on his face, until he handed the phone to Mikkel.

The voice was unfiltered but unfamiliar. “Welcome to Malmö, Mister Madsen. I trust your journey wasn’t too unpleasant, but we both know Ms. Eide can get a bit enthusiastic about carrying out a contract.

“Now, to business. You claim you wish to retire, and you chafed at the notion of living in the little reserve in which you were placed. Very well; if you stay in Malmö and keep yourself out of trouble, you will be left alone. If not, there are certain people less principled than Ms. Eide. Consider this your only warning.”

The line went dead, and Mikkel handed the phone back to Emil, who, wide-eyed, asked Sigrun, “Who is this guy?”

The confab was broken up by the far door opening and a cheery female voice calling out, “We’re back, Emil!” Seconds later, two ash-blonde Finns and a tall, gangly redhead with a truly remarkable braid walked in.

Emil made the introductions somewhat awkwardly. The two Finns were the semi-infamous Hotakainen cousins: Lalli, cat burglar and computer wizard, and Tuuri, grifter and mechanic extraordinaire. The redhead, who proved to be an Icelander, was their intern, Reynir, who was under the impression that they were a legitimate outfit doing security testing work, instead of a ring of thieves and swindlers. Reynir was so like a human puppy, though, that none of them wanted to disillusion him.

Fortunately, Sigrun was glib-tongued enough to claim to be a simple bounty hunter bringing Mikkel back to face justice in Malmö, so the ruddy naif’s illusions were kept intact for the present.

Mikkel had already decided to metaphorically sit back and, as Sigrun had mockingly said, await further developments, and this latest twist only reinforced that notion. Things looked to become quite interesting very shortly...


Spoiler: Authorial Notes • show

So, here’s the non-Rash variant, for those desirous of yet another non-Rash modern AU.

The shenanigans will commence shortly.

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1482 on: February 06, 2016, 02:30:23 AM »
Shenanigans? I can't wait!
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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1483 on: February 06, 2016, 03:54:53 PM »
Thank you everyone for the encouragement =D I'm finally getting to take a few hours to work on chapter two. I'm actually kind of glad my work week was too nuts to get to write any; the last few comic pages have been great for inspiration, especially with Sigrun and that standoffish attitude we're seeing right now.

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1484 on: February 06, 2016, 08:07:02 PM »
So for those of us who use A03, how many pages would you post at once? I've been on it for like, two years, but have never written as much for one chapter that I just churned out. 13 pages, and all of them full, full, full.

Would you guys post 13 pages in one go, or split them up a little bit? I'm more inclined to, for the sake of the narrative flow, post 13 pages in one go, but would you guys have a problem with reading that much in one go?
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: