Author Topic: The SSSS Scriptorium  (Read 899393 times)

Dire

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1455 on: February 02, 2016, 08:34:08 AM »
*creeps in*

*posts link*

*runs*

Kiraly

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1456 on: February 02, 2016, 10:53:41 AM »
*creeps in*

*posts link*

*runs*

Oh my goodness! Don't run away, we need you to come back and write more so we can find out what happens! You did a really good job of building the tension and showing the different characters' reactions to what's going on.
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Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1457 on: February 02, 2016, 11:17:45 AM »
What Kiraly said, yes. I've already commented over on A3O, but will say again: good story premise, don't keep us in suspense too long!
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Lazy8

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1458 on: February 02, 2016, 12:14:41 PM »
Madsen’s Malmö Mayhem

Again, this is “in the style of” rather than a direct crossover with the “Burn Notice”, “the Prisoner” and “Leverage” franchises.

I... have zero familiarity with any of those franchises, so I don't know how long I'll be able to follow. What you have so far, though, has proved to be immensely fun!
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:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

Dire

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1459 on: February 02, 2016, 03:02:55 PM »
Quote from: Kiraly
Oh my goodness! Don't run away, we need you to come back and write more so we can find out what happens! You did a really good job of building the tension and showing the different characters' reactions to what's going on.

Quote from: Róisín
What Kiraly said, yes. I've already commented over on A3O, but will say again: good story premise, don't keep us in suspense too long!

Thanks, guys :D I'm just intimidated to post something in the SSSS fandom; there are so many talented writers here! But I'm going to try to keep a steady enough pace to post a chapter every 1-2 weeks. I'm one of those people that gets sucked into the Vortex of Editing...just keep editing the sames pages over and over and over because it never feels good enough. I don't feel chapter one is totally done yet but gotta keep some momentum going forward or I'll never finish.

Kiraly

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1460 on: February 02, 2016, 03:38:41 PM »
Thanks, guys :D I'm just intimidated to post something in the SSSS fandom; there are so many talented writers here! But I'm going to try to keep a steady enough pace to post a chapter every 1-2 weeks. I'm one of those people that gets sucked into the Vortex of Editing...just keep editing the sames pages over and over and over because it never feels good enough. I don't feel chapter one is totally done yet but gotta keep some momentum going forward or I'll never finish.

Hehe, I know how you feel! When I first started writing fanfiction (she says, making it sound as though this process began much longer ago than the ~1 month it's actually been) I was super nervous to post it because there are so many amazing writers here. But now you're also one of the amazing writers here! I have a tendency to want to edit forever too, but I'm working on not going overboard with it.
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frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1461 on: February 02, 2016, 04:00:34 PM »
Don't you run away now that we're all in suspense! totally not what I just did after chapter four, haha, noooo... Yes, more reading! Good fics, good fics,
Now then, who wants chapter five? No? Okay lemme just disappear again... It took a while to write because I didn't like it because it's really hard for me to get in to character for Lalli and I think I failed at it anyway, but yeah.
I haven't, uh, looked over it for grammar mistakes yet, I just finished it *sobs quietly*

Spoiler: return to silence, part one chapter five • show
{chapter 5}

Tuuri grimaced at the map she now held in her hands. "Uh, Lalli..." She whispered, tapping her cousin on the shoulder. An irritated 'Mrrr' drifted from the scout as he started to wake.

"What do you want, now?!"

"Use Swedish, you have to get used to it."

"What, do, you, want?" He growled, a pause between each word. It was still a bit of a struggle to speak in the odd language.

"I need help figuring out your notes," Tuuri gave him the map. She pointed to three circled areas, three different possible camps. "I can't remember what one of the three..."

Lalli shut his eyes tight, trying to remember, as well. "This." He pointed to the circle on his right. He went back to Finnish to scold her, "Now let me sleep, Onni will probably be panicking now that I was woken up!" Tuuri just grumbled something  and showed the location to Erika while Lalli huffed and leaned against Emil's shoulder, trying to contact his cousin once more. Reynir had perked up at the familiar name, and decided to try and sleep, too, he hadn't seen the Finnish Mage in awhile.

"You guys are fine." Erika nodded approvingly before pointing to the next circle, which was quite close. "That one is our camp, so we wouldn't try to burn everything over there. Yet, anyway."

"Well, then let's move! It's almost noon!" Sigrun clapped her hands together with a wide grin. "We might have time to drop off you three if we hurry! Emil, help me pack up!" Emil glanced at the scout and then at Sigrun with a sigh.

"If he hurts me I'm blaming you, for the record." He announced, carefully moving Lalli. The attempt failed. Lalli hissed and ran in to the tank with a curse, probably hiding in some dark corner. With the scout out of the way, they were able to gather their things, finally, and cram in to the cat-tank. It was, most definitely, a bit tighter than usual. That should probably have been expected with three other people joining them.

"So this is what you spent allll winter in?" Erika questioned, peeking through the the doorway in to the sleeping quarters. "All of you? Whole group? All winter?"

"Yyyes... Why?" Emil muttered and pushed past her to sit on his own bed, barely noticing the scout hiding underneath it. Lalli was staring at them all with a look of pure death. Erika shrugged and gingerly stepped inside, gazing around the room.

 "I don't know, no reason... Just seems kind of small," She leaned on the wall, not noticing Lalli's hand reaching out from beneath the bed.

"Not really, but it only feels small with nine people and a cat... Or sometimes it's like eight people and two cats." Emil joked, letting out a small chuckle.

"I'm guessing the night scout is th-AAH!" She was cut off as she was spooked by something moving at high speeds inches from her face. Quick as lightning, Lalli had fled the room.

"Wha-LALLI?" Emil called after him. He looked out the doorway to see the mage glaring at him. The ice blue eyes were haunting. Emil tried not to flinch. "What was that all about?"

"No trust!" Lalli managed to say before running away to the front of the tank. Tuuri looked at him quizzically.

"Thought you were sleeping?"

"But then the braid one showed up." Lalli hissed in Finnish, pointing to a sleeping Reynir. The Icelander was laying on his side behind the couch, as if he had fallen over. Sigrun, Mikkel, and the two cleansers sat on the couch, having some sort of dull conversation Lalli didn't care about.

"Well then why did Emil yell at you?" She patted the seat beside her. Lalli grudgingly sat down, promptly curling up and putting his head down with his eyes clamped shut.

"Doesn't matter."

"At least tell me what made you come running out here?" Tuuri pleaded. Lalli let out a low 'Mrrrr'. Erika peeked her head around the doorway.

"Uh, Lalli, was it? Just, uh, sorry for whatever I did to upset you, I guess?" She stammered, looking down as the scout gave her another death glare. Emil peered around the doorway just above her, switching the glare to him.

"Oh come on, what did I do now? Your the one who did wrong, this time." Lalli put his hands over his ears and Emil threw his arms in the air in defeat, walking back to the sleeping quarters. Erika frowned and joined him. Sigrun glanced between the door and the scout, their conversation disrupted by the young cleansers and the occasional Finnish mumbling.

"What's up with them, fuzzy head?" The captain asked, putting her arms behind her head. Tuuri tensed.

"Lalli doesn't want to talk about it, but I'm sure Emil or Erika will, later. " Tuuri mumbled, glancing briefly at Lalli, who still had his ears covered and eyes shut. "Someone could be sleep deprived... Or maybe a bit jealous..."

Sigrun snickered and narrowed her eyes with a smug expression. "Oh, once these three are gone it should be all fine, then, right?" At that point, Lalli had just moved his hands from his ears to his mouth as his face tinted green.

"We should not assume such things. I'm sure we will figure out just what the problem is, sooner or later." Mikkel shook his head with sigh. And with that, the scout ran off, looking paler than usual.

    *******
Emil woke up to a blunt pain on his forehead. Lalli was glaring down at him in full uniform, a rolled notebook in hand. He quickly grabbed his coat and went to pull on his boots.

"What was that for? Couldn't have just said my name or something?" He tilted his head and grabbed his gear.

"Captain is already outside. You didn't wake up." The scout grumbled with difficulty. He wandered out of the room and returned the notebook before bringing Tuuri's mask to her and putting it in her hands. Then he swiftly retreated out the door and darted through the buildings, scanning them for any sickened beings or undead.

It was a few minutes before the scout finally returned and gave the all clear, sliding his dagger back in to his belt. The cleansers were still there, they would have to spend the night as it was already pretty dark. Lalli narrowed his eyes as Erika reached up to rub the back of her neck, asking Sigrun something. There was some darkness about her. Something like the trolls. He didn't want his cousin to be anywhere near this diseased cleanser.


Spoiler: notessss • show
before you ask... YES, YES I DO LIKE CLIFFHANGERS, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!
No Tuuri, Lalli's not jealous of Emil having friends outside of the team, he just think Erika's about to make everyone's face melt off if she doesn't mutate into some sort of thing first. If it's the rash and not like some sort of curse or what ever. I don't know *muhuhahahahaha*... Also, Lalli can somewhat understand the Swedes, but not entirely. He can also speak some Swedish, with difficulty. That's all thanks to Tuuri wanting him to write letters with her.

I find it so hilarious when you guys say things like 'I can't wait where this goes next!' I just sit here with writers block like "Haha, Hey, me too!"
« Last Edit: February 02, 2016, 09:33:45 PM by frostykitty »

Róisín

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1462 on: February 02, 2016, 05:31:08 PM »
Interesting. Erika is infected?

I can see why your writing of Lalli might not feel right, I think. To me, Minna's Lalli comes across as more......cautious, reserved, and also more protective of Tuuri and the others. If he feared a person was infected or untrustworthy, he would say so, I think, either directly to Tuuri or to Emil, now that he has learned a little Swedish. He might say it from under a blanket on the top bunk, but he would say something. I doubt he would trip someone he suspected, more likely give them a wide berth, though the death glare sounds about right! Does Tuuri think Lalli might be jealous because Erika is an old acquaintance of Emil?

I'm curious to see where you take this. Please continue!
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frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1463 on: February 02, 2016, 06:49:24 PM »
Ah! Ah, I meant to edit that part! Eh, I already started the next chapter though and I'm in that mindset and why... Curse my lack of sleep!
And yes, that's why Tuuri thought of that. But within the first few paragraphs of the next chapter, Lalli will speak to his cousin and there's suspicion and pointing and all of that fun stuff.

Lazy8

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1464 on: February 02, 2016, 07:20:04 PM »
*creeps in*

*posts link*

*runs*

Dropped a review over on AO3. Please, keep writing!
:usa: native
:spain: comes back in an emergency
:vaticancity: rusty
:china: can usually manage to order food
:norway: can hold a basic conversation

:chap5: | :book2: | :book3: | :chap17: :chap18:

frostykitty

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1465 on: February 02, 2016, 09:37:27 PM »
I agree, write!
Okay, I changes that line a little, hopefully it's better now! With Lalli saying he didn't trust Erika, I wanted to make it sound like he wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but something wasn't quite right, sorry if that was unclear...

LooNEY_DAC

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1466 on: February 02, 2016, 10:32:36 PM »
I... have zero familiarity with any of those franchises, so I don't know how long I'll be able to follow. What you have so far, though, has proved to be immensely fun!
Well, the beauty of "in the style of" stuff is that no knowledge of the other is required.
I'm one of those people that gets sucked into the Vortex of Editing...just keep editing the sames pages over and over and over because it never feels good enough.
* LooNEY_DAC looks at pile of unfinished stories from a decade ago
*Ahem* What is this Vortex of Editing of which you speak?

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1467 on: February 03, 2016, 08:06:51 AM »
Thanks, guys :D I'm just intimidated to post something in the SSSS fandom; there are so many talented writers here! But I'm going to try to keep a steady enough pace to post a chapter every 1-2 weeks. I'm one of those people that gets sucked into the Vortex of Editing...just keep editing the sames pages over and over and over because it never feels good enough. I don't feel chapter one is totally done yet but gotta keep some momentum going forward or I'll never finish.

Those first time jitters have stuck with me every time I so much as edit a tag in A03. I've been writing since 2013, various bits of fanfiction here and there, and I still get so nervous when I post something new my hands start to shake.
That even goes for the fic I've just started for SSSS (just behind yours, dude, we're like a train!). I don't know why it makes me so nervous. Particularly in this little berg of a fandom, because you're hard-pressed to find a jackass between the comment sections and the head-canon threads.

 You got a talent, my friend. I had a hard time remembering I wasn't reading a book- and I mean a good book, not those YA things where it's obvious the author just sneezed on a page and sent it to their editor.
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

OwlsG0

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1468 on: February 03, 2016, 08:09:10 AM »
Speaking of fics

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5853457/chapters/13579246

I swear this thing is too complicated already what the cluck is up with the name it's supposed to be over-serious  and therefore funny but it just looks dumb

my cat sat his kitten butt on the keyboard and deleted half a page of work thank god for that arrow that goes backwards what is the word for that
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

Buteo

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Re: The SSSS Scriptorium
« Reply #1469 on: February 03, 2016, 10:04:23 PM »
OwlsGO, you have a wonderful gift for unexpected phrases that are hilarious.
I lost it at "...could in fact have been a canoe with a wig on..."