Lalli wasn't going to say it. It didn't matter. No one would understand him anyway. He didn't care. They were all stupid. Stupid Emil with his stupidly fluffy hair and his stupid language. Gibberish that made since to everyone but Lalli.
No, Lalli wouldn't say it. Not out loud, not in his head, not in his dreams which were supposed to be safe but weren't, thanks to the stupid redhead. He would never admit he was lonely.
He had curled up back under the blankets in the tank, looking like he had never woken up at all. He faced the wall, glaring resentfully any time Tuuri got too close.
Tuuri knew not to disturb him while he was sulking. She tiptoed around him, looking apprehensive every time her foot fell close to his face. Then they needed him to scout.
He told Tuuri he wasn't sure if he wanted to. She reminded him that it was his job and he had to. Then she got angry. Was he too stupid and sulky to do his job?
He got up without a word, pulling on his uniform, not making eye contact with anyone. Then he left, silent as a shadow.
Emil didn't watch him go.
Tuuri sighed. "I was afraid he would do this," she said.
"What, does he do it often?" Sigrun asked, seeming somewhat alarmed.
"Well, sometimes," Tuuri admitted, "but it's rarely this bad. I could barely get him up to go scout, usually he jumps at a chance to get away from people. I wonder why he's so miserable." Tuuri looked at Sigrun hopefully, wishing the capable captain knew what to do. Sigrun glanced at Mikkel, and Emil stared at the floor.
Sigrun opened her mouth and bit into the growing silence. "Hey Emil, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Mikkel looked concerned. "Oh, here we go."
Sigrun glared. "Well if you're so smart,"
Mikkel stood up. "I'm so glad you think so. Emil, come on."
Emil followed Mikkel out of the tank, looking so grumpy that dark clouds were almost visible above his head.
Mikkel took a deep breath, trying to remember what he must not say in a "friendship is precious" speech. He must not be sarcastic. He must not make puns. He must be very, very careful about suggesting that since they both clearly liked each other, all this tension and angst was totally pointless.
"Emil," he began. "I know you're probably angry with Lalli for smashing food in your face."
Emil didn't say anything. Mikkel took this as a good sign. "But when you're older, you WILL realize that true friendship doesn't happen every day." Mikkel didn't quite know where he was going with this. Should he follow it up by saying that he was older and wiser than Emil and the hapless cleanser should do as he said? Probably not.
"You saw how lonely Lalli looked. He wouldn't even look at you." Mikkel realized this might not actually be true. Emil rarely saw past his glittery cloud of golden hair.
"And he was almost too grumpy to scout, which is a pretty big problem. You two should probably forgive each other if you want to survive out here."
"With all due respect, Sigrun," Mikkel said, "please shut up, you aren't helping." Sigrun retreated back into the tank. Mikkel smirked slightly at the look on Emil's face when he suggested Lalli might be lonely.
"You really think he's lonely?" Emil's voice was still sullen, but he was making eye contact. That was good.
"Yes, of course. He is clearly miserable." Mikkel stared straight into Emil's turquoise eyes, which had started to fill with anxiety rather than angst. "We both know there's only one person who can fix that. It isn't me or Sigrun or Tuuri. And it certainly isn't Reynir."
"Lalli's kind of a jerk," Emil said uncertainly.
"I know. But how would you act if no one understood the language you speak?" Mikkel fought to keep the smug grin off his face as he watched Emil's empathy working against the Swede's irritated silence.
Emil turned suddenly and walked back off into the tank, muttering under his breath. Mikkel caught the words, "stupid," "lonely," and "don't care."
Mikkel smirked. His master plan was working beautifully.
Sigrun stared at him. "What did you do?"
"I fixed everything, of course." Mikkel brushed past her, walking back into the Cattank. "Just wait until our scout gets back. It might take a few hours, but everything will be back to normal."
Sigrun gave him a suspicious look. "I still have you on the mutiny list, you know."
"I know," Mikkel said.
Emil had a restless night. When Lalli scratched on the door in the early hours of the morning, he was still awake.
The scout looked around. Everyone was just waking up. Mikkel sprayed his hair with disinfectant as he stripped off his uniform and dived for the space under the bed.
Mikkel sighed and stared pointedly at Emil. Then he went outside to do the laundry, Reynir bouncing eagerly behind him.
For a while, nothing happened. Everyone went about their daily business. Then Lalli became aware of a warm presence near the back of his head. He curled up into a ball and ignored it, hoping it might go away.
But it didn't. It stayed there.
Lalli turned around. Emil was there, with bowls of soup. He didn't speak. He just gently slid a bowl over to Lalli.
Lalli was going to go back to sleep, he really was. But he was hungry, and cold, and the soup was warm. So he picked up the spoon and munched very discreetly in the hope that no one would notice his change of heart.
Emil wasn't going to smile. He was still angry. But his mouth seemed to have the definite intention of disobeying his brain.
He thought he might have seen Lalli smile too, in between spoonfuls of warm soup.