hello hi it's me i suddenly remembered the existence of minna sundberg and wondered if the Bunny Testimonial project had been released yet. turns out yes! so i read it. because i too like reading autobiographical comics and hearing stories about how people think and how they've changed their minds over time. it's a privilege to gain insight into someone's life like this, even if it's just the fraction of it they choose to share. there's a vulnerability in that, and i think there's something powerful about understanding the diverse experiences of people around us and how even at the core of someone i fundamentally disagree with there will be a human person.
also because i like to snoop.
on one hand i'm happy for her in the sense that it seems that minna has found a community of actual real life people she might connect with, as well as reconnecting with a faith that is important to her and presumably makes her feel closer to her family. these seem like good things to me and i have no other choice than to trust her word about her own life.
i DO fundamentally disagree with her philosophies though, which also explains why LP was Like That. like, i can't criticize the comic for telling her story wrong or badly, because those are her thoughts and feelings and i don't doubt her having them, and she is not a fictional character that needs to be thematically coherent or a moral lesson. it's just very.......... sad, i think.
the feeling i get from the mere existence of this comic is an assumption that all humans are inherently awful and uncaring and will only do things for their own gain, and feels very much like, i don't know, like she wants to share this for the other sinners in the crowd. i mean, that's the feeling i got from the whole LP debacle too - it's actually a little funny to me how God pushed her so hard to make LP. truly the most important story she has to tell!!! like, i believe her when she says she has a lot to learn about connecting with people and becoming less self-centered (self-loathing is also a form of self-centering) - not in a derogatory way, but in a hopeful way, like of COURSE it's easy to think everyone else thinks the same way you do about things when you've neglected to make any meaningful connections with other people around you! it feels a lot like when certain kinds of people assume i am transgender because of internalised misogyny, and it's like no, i promise it's not because i think it's bad to be a woman.
(i stand by what i said about LP back when, at the core the concept/idea of it isn't Awful, it just feels like Baby's First Cyberpunk/Dystopia that has only a surface understanding of why things are the way they are and how oppression works, and that it falls a little flat because it doesn't dig deep enough. i don't know if she ever WILL dig deeper, that's her perogative.)
i think it's entirely possible to spend your entire life by yourself and still live a full and meaningful life, because everyone has different wants and needs. but i would also go out on a branch and say that Most people, humans being social animals, benefit from creating meaningful connections with other people and finding communities to belong in. i get a very strong impression it's something that can help many people find joy, purpose and empathy. like................... a lot of what i, personally, got out of SSSS was community. my love for that comic is something that led me to form a lot of friendships, confidence, and inspiration - which led to a lot of growth as a person and an artist. so it DOES kinda suck to see her say that her past work is "meaningless entertainment" with no other merit. it sucks in the same way that so many people, me included, loved and still love her characters so dearly, and yet she does not seem to care for them at all anymore. i can't tell her how she's supposed to feel about her work, because feelings isn't something anyone can control, but it's a little heartbreaking that that's where we're at.
speaking of things on can't control - i think the most fundamental disagreement i have with her faith is how she conceptualizes sin. i don't believe Having Bad Thoughts in and of itself is sinful. especially as someone who has OCD and intrusive thoughts - and i gotta say a LOT of the content in this comic reads eerily familiar to me, especially the constant fear of Dying or the way thoughts will constantly spiral to a Bad Topic - i CANNOT believe my thoughts equal actions equals I'm Bad. obviously i don't know what minna has done with her life beyond what she's shared with us, but it doesn't seem like she's actuall DONE a lot of Bad Things. not even the controversies from the SSSS heyday where i disagree with her actions or statements seem like the horrible awful sinfulness she is punishing herself for. like i understand feeling bad for having thought Bad Thoughts!!! but thoughts are immaterial!!!! it doesn't matter if you thought about doing something if you didn't actually do it, and likewise!! if you do a good thing it's great that you did it even if it was for less noble reasons!!
it also makes me sad that she felt compelled to give up everything she had going for her. maybe it was a change she wanted and needed to do, and this was just how it manifested in her life, and that's valid. i know of so many webcomic creators who, in the middle of very large projects, need to end them or change directions, just because they're burning out on it or have changed too much since they started. it was clearly a decision she kept circling back to until she made it, so there were probably underlying reasons for it. it's her life!! i just... i hope she doesn't live by the philosophy of Sacrifice and Self-punishment.
it's just very harrowing & heartbreaking to see such disdain for Humans in the belief that nobody has genuine connections and that everything is self-serving in some way, that a better society is clearly impossible because humans are just too inherently cruel and those who don't admit to being so are just lying to themself, that there must be a MEANING behind it all because if not let's just descend into lawless chaos every man for himself etc etc etc. it's not clear by the comic that she's changed her mind on this, because the impression i get is that she's returned to faith mostly to get rid of her own sins before she dies. which DOES explain, once again, why the vibe of LP was "it's worth doing good things so you go to heaven afterwards" or something. i don't remember exactly, just - there's a distinct feeling that she lacks any kind of foundational values or belief that they could exist beyond God. all of my eyebrow raising at both comics come from That distinct feeling.
so yeah no i too think therapy would have been helpful - for the social anxiety, for the Very Plausible Autism/neurodivergence, for the intrusive thought patterns. hopefully having a network in her life will be helpful as well. i hope she didn't join a cult or anything cult-adjacent!
it's been an enlightening read
edit: forgot to say anything about the Radicalization Through Youtube Algorithm................ i don't really have much to say about it it's just. feels almost mundane in this day and age
(i hope i'm posting in an appropriate thread, i just noticed there IS a meandering line thread but most of the relevant discussion seems to be in this one)
