Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 110757 times)

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #525 on: October 26, 2019, 04:37:32 PM »
I would tell a joke about Macaroni but it's a little CHEESY!

Grade E cat

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • Headcanon firing in 3... 2... 1...
  • Preferred pronouns: her
  • Posts: 907
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #526 on: October 27, 2019, 10:00:51 AM »
Little gem I found on TV Tropes:

Two cats have a swimming race. One is named One-Two-Three and one is named Un-Deux-Trois. Which one wins?

Spoiler: show
One-Two-Three, because the Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2019, 04:10:14 PM by Grade E cat »
Native: :fr:
So much part of my life it might as well be native: :us:
Few and far between practice opportunities: :es:
A little learned during hardcore anime fan phase: :jp:
Only alternative to English in early junior high school: :de:

Do what cat. Lalli's way of life since age three.

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 4991
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #527 on: October 27, 2019, 03:28:30 PM »
Ö boooo
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4102
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #528 on: October 28, 2019, 09:16:46 AM »
Two cats have a swimming race. One is named One-Two-Three and one is named Un-Deux-Trois.
How did the other comment on his victory, "For Fievel!"?  ;)
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #529 on: October 28, 2019, 02:50:36 PM »
When does a joke become a dad joke?

Spoiler: show
When it becomes apparent!

Mebediel

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: She/her/hers
  • Posts: 605
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #530 on: November 01, 2019, 01:41:21 PM »
When does a joke become a dad joke?

Spoiler: show
When it becomes apparent!

Hey now, these jokes are going too far...that is, father than they should be
Butter good.
Native language: :usa: | Okay at: :china: | Not very good: :mexico: | Working on: :vaticancity:, :england: (OE), :france: | Wishlist: :germany:, :iceland:, :norway:, :finland:, Shanghainese, Esperanto

:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #531 on: November 04, 2019, 07:02:52 PM »
If womb is pronounced “woom”, and tomb is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t bomb be pronounced “boom”?
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 4991
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #532 on: November 06, 2019, 03:03:09 PM »
If womb is pronounced “woom”, and tomb is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t bomb be pronounced “boom”?

That's "earth-shattering ka-BOOM" to you...   ;D
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #533 on: November 06, 2019, 11:40:28 PM »
What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler: show
Melty chocolate!

Grade E cat

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • Headcanon firing in 3... 2... 1...
  • Preferred pronouns: her
  • Posts: 907
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #534 on: November 07, 2019, 12:55:37 PM »
I know what else is brown and sticky.

Spoiler: show
A stick.
Native: :fr:
So much part of my life it might as well be native: :us:
Few and far between practice opportunities: :es:
A little learned during hardcore anime fan phase: :jp:
Only alternative to English in early junior high school: :de:

Do what cat. Lalli's way of life since age three.

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 4991
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #535 on: November 07, 2019, 06:26:20 PM »
What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler: show
Melty chocolate!

I know what else is brown and sticky.

Spoiler: show
A stick.



Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

Solokov

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Live life, start chaos.
  • Posts: 3121
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #536 on: November 12, 2019, 12:23:36 AM »
If I asked you to choose your favorite feature, would you pick your nose?
I'm a writer too,
writing things for you,
Mostly 'pocylyse things though, check out my story from the start, Blog with the Blastwave.
A relay of the /k/ signal corps.

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #537 on: November 15, 2019, 01:42:19 PM »
What bone is the coolest bone?

Spoiler: show
The hip bone!

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4102
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #538 on: November 15, 2019, 03:26:06 PM »
What bone is the coolest bone?
*ahem*

(Note that the Wikipedia article is in error to translate "Bein" with its current standard meaning of "leg" here, instead of the outdated meaning but directly related word of "bone".)
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #539 on: November 18, 2019, 06:13:14 PM »
Where would you go to hire a Russian cat?

Spoiler: show
The НЯ Department!
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t