Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 169967 times)

Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1050 on: January 26, 2025, 08:41:09 AM »
Albert Einstein wasn't a real person. He was just a theoretical physicist.
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1051 on: January 27, 2025, 02:01:13 AM »
A doctor asks a nurse: “That little girl who swallowed ten quarters last night... how is she?”
The nurse replies: “No change yet.”
"Life is all we are. Life is what defines us. In the end, Life is the answer."

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thorny

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1052 on: January 27, 2025, 11:10:02 AM »
Good ones, Yastreb!

wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1053 on: January 30, 2025, 03:04:47 PM »
There are times I wish I could place emojis reactions on individual messages, 'cause there are so many knee-slappers here.
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1054 on: March 03, 2025, 03:01:25 AM »
Something I saw on a microwave meal pack: Remove cardboard sleeve and heat in microwave for 4 minutes.

I showed that to my flatmate and said, "So I heat the cardboard. Now what?" He chuckled, and I went on, "At least I don't have to stand in boiling water for twenty minutes." More laughter ensued.


Spoiler: show
I was referencing a venerable joke about tinned beans or similar with the instructions on the label: Before opening tin, stand in boiling water for twenty minutes.
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1055 on: March 05, 2025, 11:38:58 AM »
Something I saw on a microwave meal pack: Remove cardboard sleeve and heat in microwave for 4 minutes.
I showed that to my flatmate and said, "So I heat the cardboard. Now what?"

ObRef: "Take frozen fish sticks from package and fry 5-7 minutes from all sides"
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1056 on: March 25, 2025, 10:25:19 PM »
(this one's America-specific, sorry)

Q: Whaddya call the person who was looking forward to brushing their teeth but dropped the toothpaste?
A: Crestfallen
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Yastreb

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #1057 on: March 26, 2025, 08:59:54 AM »
A long time ago on a forum for a site I barely remember, there was a thread about misprints and howlers, and the following discussion was sparked by a particular headline...

"Cat who found fish smuggling ring dies, will be honoured with memorial plague". It's bad enough that the cat died, now they're going to give him the plague.
How does this "memorial plague" work? Did the cat die of some disease with which other cats will be infected so that they can re-live his final moments? Or is it the perpetrators of the fish smuggling ring who will be infected with the plague? Or is it perhaps a biblical-style "plague of cats" in which vast numbers of cats will be released to overrun the local countryside? The mind boggles.
Just out of curiosity, what sort of ring was the fish smuggling, anyway? Did it have plans to branch out into bracelets and necklaces soon?
I think a memorial plague in this case would be a cat-ass-trophy.

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