Pages: Previous 1 ... 5 6 7 ... 70 Next
Go Down

Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 137771 times)

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #75 on: April 05, 2016, 10:21:02 PM »
Quote from: JoB on April 05, 2016, 07:57:17 PM
Yes, and yes,
Spoiler: show
it Cannes be that.


I think you're Toulouse with your criticism.
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

KicknRun

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • excitable hatred
  • Preferred pronouns: he/her
  • Posts: 892
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #76 on: April 05, 2016, 10:59:50 PM »
I go to Catholic school, so there is so many Catholic jokes. So many.

Spoiler: disclaimer  • show
There is no screwing over of Catholics in these jokes, I swear.


What do you call it when a lot of people die in church?

Spoiler: answer • show
Mass murder.


Spoiler: another joke in script format • show
Classmate: Paul the Apostle did get his sight back, right?

Teacher: Yes, he did.

Me: *raises hand*

Me: I guess he finally... saw the light.
Logged

:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11:
SSSSoulcount:0

Icon drawn by Piney

Keeper

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • Child of the Sun
  • Posts: 861
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #77 on: April 06, 2016, 09:14:09 AM »
Quote from: KicknRun on April 05, 2016, 10:59:50 PM
I go to Catholic school, so there is so many Catholic jokes. So many.

Spoiler: disclaimer  • show
There is no screwing over of Catholics in these jokes, I swear.


What do you call it when a lot of people die in church?

Spoiler: answer • show
Mass murder.


Spoiler: another joke in script format • show
Classmate: Paul the Apostle did get his sight back, right?

Teacher: Yes, he did.

Me: *raises hand*

Me: I guess he finally... saw the light.


What a coincidence, I have another.

I hear nuns do the same things every day.
Spoiler: show
Well, they are creatures of habit.
Logged
:chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :book3: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :book4:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04:

Mark my words, it's not quite what you thought.

Juniper

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • 달도 차면 기운다
  • Posts: 990
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #78 on: April 10, 2016, 03:35:29 AM »
Bad puns are life. That's actually how I flirt with people, just sending them bad puns because how else are you supposed to flirt ?? Besides, it's fair that they know right from the start how horrible and lame I am.

Some of my favorites are: the best way to defeat your enemies is to chop their feet off.

Two TV antennas got married. The wedding itself wasn't that great but the reception was amazing.

An invisible man and an invisible woman got married. Their kids weren't much to look at either.

I'd forgotten how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
Logged


Native: :usa:
I guess I'm pretty okay :france: :southkorea:
Learning: :finland: :arableague: :sign:

Iceea

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 1592
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #79 on: April 10, 2016, 04:19:18 PM »
Those are just bad...........
I'm not even sure they would qualify as groaners ;)
Logged
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: & :book2:

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it!
Robin Williams

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #80 on: April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM »
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

Troposphère

  • Safe-Zone Citizen
  • **
  • because chaos.
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 117
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #81 on: April 12, 2016, 10:16:23 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.

This is the best joke I have heard in a while :D.
Logged
native: :france:
ok: :uk:
have learned for years but can just say hi: :germany:
just a few words: :sweden: :iceland:

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #82 on: April 13, 2016, 02:28:29 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.

Told this gem to my friend while we were cycling. Not two minutes later, my bike catches something and throws me over the handle-bars. I think I may have offended it.
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

Pupunen

  • Safe-Zone Citizen
  • **
    • Tumblr
  • Posts: 247
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #83 on: April 13, 2016, 10:13:45 AM »
Which fish is really good with pianos?

Spoiler: show
The tuna.
Logged
Native: :finland:
Fluent: :sweden: :uk:
Good: :italy:
Understand but don't speak: :denmark: :norway:
Basics: :russia: :wales: :iceland: :vaticancity:

:chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15:

meshebe

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • altruistic idiot
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him
  • Posts: 720
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #84 on: April 26, 2016, 11:42:08 PM »
Why are some jokes so painfully funny?
Spoiler: show
must be the punchline
Logged
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: :A2chap01:

Avatar made by the most awesome Tap.

Iceea

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 1592
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #85 on: April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM »
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired

Quote from: OwlsG0 on April 13, 2016, 02:28:29 AM
Told this gem to my friend while we were cycling. Not two minutes later, my bike catches something and throws me over the handle-bars. I think I may have offended it.

I sent this to a serious bicycle riding friend of mine and he came back with this.

**************************************************************

Augh.

And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.
Logged
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: & :book2:

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it!
Robin Williams

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #86 on: April 27, 2016, 02:48:13 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM


And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.

I love the "Only available April 1st" tagline there :)
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #87 on: April 27, 2016, 04:58:00 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM

And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.

I love Google Nederlands. I really do. This isn't even a bad joke. This is hysterical- that stupid, uplifting music Google always puts in the back of their adds, the way those shots are executed, the way the interviewees are so danged earnest and pleased with the product.
Well played, Nederlands, well played.
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

ginger

  • Scout
  • ***
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 454
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #88 on: May 08, 2016, 01:36:40 PM »
From a recent ice breaker game at a conference:

"I went to space camp once... and it was out of this world!"
Logged
:usa: :france:
Avatar courtesy of the impeccable mith!

Juniper

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • 달도 차면 기운다
  • Posts: 990
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #89 on: May 08, 2016, 02:27:43 PM »
Quote from: ginger on May 08, 2016, 01:36:40 PM
From a recent ice breaker game at a conference:

"I went to space camp once... and it was out of this world!"

That reminds me of the new space themed restaurant that opened up. Too bad it's lacking in atmosphere.
Logged


Native: :usa:
I guess I'm pretty okay :france: :southkorea:
Learning: :finland: :arableague: :sign:
Pages: Previous 1 ... 5 6 7 ... 70 Next
Go Up