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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139243 times)

urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #75 on: April 05, 2016, 10:21:02 PM »
Quote from: JoB on April 05, 2016, 07:57:17 PM
Yes, and yes,
Spoiler: show
it Cannes be that.


I think you're Toulouse with your criticism.
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KicknRun

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #76 on: April 05, 2016, 10:59:50 PM »
I go to Catholic school, so there is so many Catholic jokes. So many.

Spoiler: disclaimer  • show
There is no screwing over of Catholics in these jokes, I swear.


What do you call it when a lot of people die in church?

Spoiler: answer • show
Mass murder.


Spoiler: another joke in script format • show
Classmate: Paul the Apostle did get his sight back, right?

Teacher: Yes, he did.

Me: *raises hand*

Me: I guess he finally... saw the light.
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Keeper

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #77 on: April 06, 2016, 09:14:09 AM »
Quote from: KicknRun on April 05, 2016, 10:59:50 PM
I go to Catholic school, so there is so many Catholic jokes. So many.

Spoiler: disclaimer  • show
There is no screwing over of Catholics in these jokes, I swear.


What do you call it when a lot of people die in church?

Spoiler: answer • show
Mass murder.


Spoiler: another joke in script format • show
Classmate: Paul the Apostle did get his sight back, right?

Teacher: Yes, he did.

Me: *raises hand*

Me: I guess he finally... saw the light.


What a coincidence, I have another.

I hear nuns do the same things every day.
Spoiler: show
Well, they are creatures of habit.
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Juniper

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #78 on: April 10, 2016, 03:35:29 AM »
Bad puns are life. That's actually how I flirt with people, just sending them bad puns because how else are you supposed to flirt ?? Besides, it's fair that they know right from the start how horrible and lame I am.

Some of my favorites are: the best way to defeat your enemies is to chop their feet off.

Two TV antennas got married. The wedding itself wasn't that great but the reception was amazing.

An invisible man and an invisible woman got married. Their kids weren't much to look at either.

I'd forgotten how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
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Iceea

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #79 on: April 10, 2016, 04:19:18 PM »
Those are just bad...........
I'm not even sure they would qualify as groaners ;)
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #80 on: April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM »
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.
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Troposphère

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #81 on: April 12, 2016, 10:16:23 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.

This is the best joke I have heard in a while :D.
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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #82 on: April 13, 2016, 02:28:29 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on April 11, 2016, 03:06:16 PM
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired.

Told this gem to my friend while we were cycling. Not two minutes later, my bike catches something and throws me over the handle-bars. I think I may have offended it.
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Pupunen

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #83 on: April 13, 2016, 10:13:45 AM »
Which fish is really good with pianos?

Spoiler: show
The tuna.
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meshebe

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #84 on: April 26, 2016, 11:42:08 PM »
Why are some jokes so painfully funny?
Spoiler: show
must be the punchline
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Iceea

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #85 on: April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM »
The reason that bicycles fall over if you don't hold them up is because they're two tired

Quote from: OwlsG0 on April 13, 2016, 02:28:29 AM
Told this gem to my friend while we were cycling. Not two minutes later, my bike catches something and throws me over the handle-bars. I think I may have offended it.

I sent this to a serious bicycle riding friend of mine and he came back with this.

**************************************************************

Augh.

And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #86 on: April 27, 2016, 02:48:13 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM


And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.

I love the "Only available April 1st" tagline there :)
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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #87 on: April 27, 2016, 04:58:00 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on April 27, 2016, 01:38:06 PM

And here is another technological leap forward from Google Netherlands…

   
/>
the self-driving bicycle.

I love Google Nederlands. I really do. This isn't even a bad joke. This is hysterical- that stupid, uplifting music Google always puts in the back of their adds, the way those shots are executed, the way the interviewees are so danged earnest and pleased with the product.
Well played, Nederlands, well played.
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ginger

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #88 on: May 08, 2016, 01:36:40 PM »
From a recent ice breaker game at a conference:

"I went to space camp once... and it was out of this world!"
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Juniper

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #89 on: May 08, 2016, 02:27:43 PM »
Quote from: ginger on May 08, 2016, 01:36:40 PM
From a recent ice breaker game at a conference:

"I went to space camp once... and it was out of this world!"

That reminds me of the new space themed restaurant that opened up. Too bad it's lacking in atmosphere.
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