Friend: (punches me in the arm) Hey, hey, dude
Me: huh?
Friend: So you know how you're Puerto Rican and British, right?
Me: Oh no, I had completely forgotten by own ethnicity
Friend: So if you're Puerto Rican before you go in the bathroom and Puerto Rican when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom?
Me: What am I?
Friend: (horse-like snort) EUROPEAN
(something green drips out of their nose due to snort. Friend dives off couch to get tissues, still howling with laughter)