Creative Writing Group?

[Unwary]

Yay, I am glad peole are posting and things are ticking along. Meshebe. I have read up to the
point where

Spoiler: show

the Keepers of Swords announces the name of the world, the your not in Kansas anymore moment.

And I have left comment in purple. Feel free to read them and let me know if you want me to critique different things.
Aeirdrome, I will make a pass through Ironwilled, give you some feedback when I can.

[kirvel]

Hai everyone, I'm Elin―I know I'm late, but I'm wondering if I can join your creative writing group. I'm working on an adventure story that basically revolves around a war in Europe and Gateways between worlds. It's sort of hard to explain xD
Right now I've got around 50 pages done?? It's a relatively new story, but I could put up the first few chapters if you want The group is on syncthings, right?

My ID: F75AJCP-6S4MPJI-Y4CI4XG-RXXIN5E-M5TAYQ4-7JWWJX5-DL6AIRB-QI6C7AW

[Aierdome]

Hai everyone, I'm Elin―I know I'm late, but I'm wondering if I can join your creative writing group. I'm working on an adventure story that basically revolves around a war in Europe and Gateways between worlds. It's sort of hard to explain xD
Right now I've got around 50 pages done?? It's a relatively new story, but I could put up the first few chapters if you want The group is on syncthings, right?

My ID: F75AJCP-6S4MPJI-Y4CI4XG-RXXIN5E-M5TAYQ4-7JWWJX5-DL6AIRB-QI6C7AW

Yay, hello! If everyone else is okay with it, I'll add you to my sync list tomorrow and read it.

[Unwary]

Welcome Elin.
I have added you to my Syncthing, and so you should sync to the other reliably.
Please go round and add the other in the device ID list when you get online.
(Have you used Syncthing before? you seem familiar with it.)
Sorry I am not being as present as I hoped to be. But thing appear to be ticking along. I should be done with all this college application stuff and back to just going to college in few more weeks. I will definitely catch up on everyone before Christmas.

[Unwary]

Hey Aierdrome, really impressed with Ironwilled, made me want to start writng some of my own ideas down.
You had great atmosphere, and very good worldbuilding. The methods and protocols on the train were pretty neat and consistent. The character felt like we had just started to meet them. (like they have depths but for the most part we haven't plumbed them.)
The only major cons were some typoes and tense issues. I will try and give it a proofread and mark them for your reference. Thanks for sharing it!

[Aierdome]

Hey Aierdrome, really impressed with Ironwilled, made me want to start writng some of my own ideas down.
You had great atmosphere, and very good worldbuilding. The methods and protocols on the train were pretty neat and consistent. The character felt like we had just started to meet them. (like they have depths but for the most part we haven't plumbed them.)
The only major cons were some typoes and tense issues. I will try and give it a proofread and mark them for your reference. Thanks for sharing it!

Thanks!

Guess I'll sit down and write more of it over the weekend... I was sort of swarmed with schoolwork over the last weeks, but it seems to be easing off now, so I should be able to have more time to focus on it.

[meshebe]

Well I decided to go back to school for my master's degree, so I quit my job so I could focus on applying... (since the deadline is mid December!  It always seems like I decide to do things last minute.)  A nice side effect of this means that I will have more time for writing (I at least have two more hours to work with by avoiding that commute) and other less fun things like chores!

Just letting you what my status is on my story.  I should have some updates this week.  It so encouraging to know a few people out there at least enjoy it and would like to see more. 

Speaking of which, Unwary, I read your edits and you make some really good points as well.  Thanks again!

Also, I will try to be a contributing member of the group and give some critique too

[Unwary]

I have updated and moved Harvestman to the be read folder, and and added another wip to my own folder.
If I have time I will try and provide in line edits, but in general I think I am better suited to critiquing world building and so on.

[SugaAndSpice]

Hi, everyone! I am starting a story, and would like some critique! Also, for the artists resident on this thread, I think it would be cool if I could share a bit of my story, and people could send me arts of what their impressions of the chracter(s) are? I dont mean to intrude and if this goes against anything please tell me im just really excited about this story... is it okay if I just put my story under a spoiler? i dont really have any other way to share it...

Spoiler: show

The silence is terrifying. You wander around the large building. From past experience, this space should echo sound, but instead, everything is muted and muffled. You don’t understand why this is. Ever since you went on that walk, everything had been dull. The white sheen of the planet around you was turning gray, slowly, and silently. Literally silently. Everything that changed made an announcement with some sort of sound that would tell you something is coming. Something will change. But not since that walk. A flare of dull, listless red comes up in your peripheral vision. You turn, and you see lights up on the wall. The warning lights. The lights that you hear in your head. There isn’t actually anything there of course; you heard the lights in your peripheral vision. You hum your way to the office. When you get there, you can’t help but notice the sad sounds echoing in your ears as you cross the threshold.

It isnt much I know, but there is more, I just wanted to share this little bit of it. Sorry its probably really confusing to read.

[Aierdome]

Hi, everyone! I am starting a story, and would like some critique! Also, for the artists resident on this thread, I think it would be cool if I could share a bit of my story, and people could send me arts of what their impressions of the chracter(s) are? I dont mean to intrude and if this goes against anything please tell me im just really excited about this story... is it okay if I just put my story under a spoiler? i dont really have any other way to share it...

Spoiler: show

The silence is terrifying. You wander around the large building. From past experience, this space should echo sound, but instead, everything is muted and muffled. You don’t understand why this is. Ever since you went on that walk, everything had been dull. The white sheen of the planet around you was turning gray, slowly, and silently. Literally silently. Everything that changed made an announcement with some sort of sound that would tell you something is coming. Something will change. But not since that walk. A flare of dull, listless red comes up in your peripheral vision. You turn, and you see lights up on the wall. The warning lights. The lights that you hear in your head. There isn’t actually anything there of course; you heard the lights in your peripheral vision. You hum your way to the office. When you get there, you can’t help but notice the sad sounds echoing in your ears as you cross the threshold.

It isnt much I know, but there is more, I just wanted to share this little bit of it. Sorry its probably really confusing to read.

Hello! We generally use Syncthing here, but if for whatever reason you can't use it, I don't think anyone'd mind (well, I don't). As for your story, it certainly starts interesting, though there are some tense issues  and missing "time words" that do make it somewhat confusing. If you don't mind me editing it a bit...

Spoiler: show

The silence is terrifying. You wander around the large building. From past experience, this space should echo sound, but instead, everything is muted and muffled. You don’t understand why this is. Ever since you went on that walk, everything has been dull. The white sheen of the planet around you is turning gray, slowly, and silently. Literally silently. Once, Everything that changed made an announcement with some sort of sound that would tell you something is coming. Something would change. But not since that walk.
A flare of dull, listless red comes up in your peripheral vision. You turn, and you see lights up on the wall. The warning lights. The lights that you hear in your head. There isn’t actually anything there of course; you've seen the lights in your peripheral vision. You hum[?] your way to the office. When you get there, you can’t help but notice the sad sounds echoing in your ears as you cross the threshold.

[SugaAndSpice]

Thanks for the edits, Aierdome! I know all the stuff about sounds is confusing, and I'm sorry about that, I guess I should have explained that more. The world this character is in is made of sound and music, so that's why they hum their way to the office.

[Unwary]

Hello Willowham.
Interesting little story, it kind of borders on prosetry. Here are some of my thoughts on world and wordsmithing.
If, as you say this is a world of sound and music, how does the character know what red is? are they a traveller here, or do they perchance navigate by echolocation?
I loved a chunk of your word choice, the 'dull listless red' of the alarms makes it feel very poignant. The only one I shy away form is 'literally silent'. the literally sort of breaks narrative, as it sound like it's addressed to us. I also liked the second person POV,  there isn't all that much good second person writing out there.
In short, think about how your character would know the world, and expand it a little, I want to know more. 

In other news, I am upgrading my computer's Syncthing to Beryllium Bedbug. You will have to follow suit if you want to sync from me. (The update is worth it, as it's possible now for files to be relayed around firewalls. With a bit of testing, maybe we can get DarkRawen back.)

Aeirdrome, your new icon keeps surprising me.

[Aierdome]

In other news, I am upgrading my computer's Syncthing to Beryllium Bedbug. You will have to follow suit if you want to sync from me. (The update is worth it, as it's possible now for files to be relayed around firewalls. With a bit of testing, maybe we can get DarkRawen back.)

Aeirdrome, your new icon keeps surprising me.

Hm, my Syncthing had some update problems in the past, so we'll see how Beryllium Bedbug goes. From my quick skim through the release notes, though, it seems like we all have to update it or we won't be able to syncth at all. BTW, does meshebe know about the update? They have their story in the common folder as well.

And yeah, I'm still kinda surprised by the new icon myself. I've been using Nimitz (the binoculars cat) on all forums until now, so it's like "wait, what?!" every time I enter SSSSF.

[Unwary]

Meshebe's on vacation, but I see them regularly.
As for updating, sorry if didn't ask you guys but I am using syncthing for a lot of stuff.
(about 66 GiB), So I want to keep up to date.
Let me know if updating proves too hard, and maybe I can roll back.

[meshebe]

I've upgraded my Scything, it says I'm using v0 12.2 now.  Is that correct?

If it works, I've added another "chapter" (one of the character breaks - I'm really not sure how I want to do chapters with my story yet) to my story.  It's a piece I've had written but haven't added to the main file yet, but now it's there.  I haven't had time to do some of the major detail work that you guys have suggested, but I love the critique and hope to add it all soon.  At the moment though, I'm furiously trying to apply to graduate schools....

I found a couple quotes I wanted to share with you guys, too.  They really resonated with my creative writing self:

"The late novelist E. L. Doctorow once described his writing process this way: "It's like driving a car at night--you never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." "

and loosely quoted because I can't find the original: "Of course [the main character] is not like me, he is in a different situation with a different background and different things happen to him...but he has my mind."

Hope you enjoy!