General Discussion Thread

[Laufey]

S...so cute... I can't handle this amount of cute so early...

Also a small addition to acting "girly" or "boyish" it's good to remember that that divide is artificial, varies greatly from culture to culture and changes a LOT with time. Going back about 100 years and meeting my great-grandma as a young lady her definition of a womanly way of acting would be very, extremely different from what today says is feminine. Going back another 100 years we'd find women strictly disagreeing with the both of us.

Cultures also bring their own standards into the play, and they don't even have to be far-off cultures. I remember once chatting with a mildly hungover Estonian captain who had not checked the Icelandic calendar and had gotten stuck on the island for a bit because his visit collided with a national sailors' holiday. He was telling a WW2 story when he suddenly paused mid-sentence and said:
"This is actually not a story to tell women." Then he paused again and concluded: "But you're Finnish so it's ok" and told the story anyway.

(For the record the story did include killing people, but since my own family has many unpleasant stories from the WW2 it wasn't exactly shocking to me.)

[Mélusine]

And on the other subject GAIZ GAIZ LOOKIT MY CAT

Awwwwww, cuuuuuuute !

RedCloud: keep in mind that gender isn't something you do, but what you are. Your actions and how "masculine" or "feminine" they are don't determine your gender, but how comfortable you feel thinking about yourself in certain terms does. What you describe sounds like a normal thing so I'm just gonna add to the pile of "just be you", because that's the only way to be anything.

actually, two days ago or so, a friend of mine came out as a trans boy on my facebook feed and described all these girly things he had never felt like doing, and that he had known for years that he wasn't actually a girl. I don't really think an aversion to "girly activities" is what makes anyone a boy, and I know there are a lot of girls that have the same aversion to many things like makeup or shopping or all things deemed like "girl things", but I guess it can be a hint to many trans people that they don't really feel like they fit in? On the flipside I also know a trans boy who is pretty feminine and still wears makeup and stuff sometimes.

So, like, there's no correct way to be a gender. You're just you. Incredibly unhelpful I know
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thank for the precision, I don't speak to much on subjects on which I don't have knowledges, but was a little pensive on this point. (If being a girl was definite by liking the makeup or shopping, some of my friends and me would fail to the exam And I would never have been allowed to try medieval fencing in which I was the only girl.)

[Haiz]

Also a small addition to acting "girly" or "boyish" it's good to remember that that divide is artificial, varies greatly from culture to culture and changes a LOT with time. Going back about 100 years and meeting my great-grandma as a young lady her definition of a womanly way of acting would be very, extremely different from what today says is feminine. Going back another 100 years we'd find women strictly disagreeing with the both of us.

Cultures also bring their own standards into the play, and they don't even have to be far-off cultures. I remember once chatting with a mildly hungover Estonian captain who had not checked the Icelandic calendar and had gotten stuck on the island for a bit because his visit collided with a national sailors' holiday. He was telling a WW2 story when he suddenly paused mid-sentence and said:
"This is actually not a story to tell women." Then he paused again and concluded: "But you're Finnish so it's ok" and told the story anyway

yeah this is a much better way of putting what I tried to say some days ago, I was very tired and trying to say gender roles are stricter now than earlier is utterly ridiculous. I just meant to say that many things have changed much, and a lot has been shaped by cultures clashing with eachother, and many things becoming more insidious.

I mean, I was raised pretty much gender-neutrally, my mother hails from ex-communist country (meaning women HAD to work) and my father hails from the far north where everyone does what they can because there are few people anyway, and living in scandinavia that is pretty chill on these things..... Pretty much the only person saying I did anything unladylike was my grandmother. That I only met twice a year. And as a kid I was, well, a normal kid? Kids don't care about gender unless people point it out to them, in my experience. Most of my friends were boys, but I was never seen as "one of the boys" or particularly tomboyish, you know? And even if my friends were boys I was never part of the boy tribe, so to speak. (It was mostly just me and emil being social outcasts together to be honest. Hi emil). So me being a girl was never really something weird to me, until I started to get old enough to be classified "woman" and that's when I was starting to feel uncomfortable. It was never really the expectations for the gender in particular, because I was always ready to rebel against norms, right? But the word felt more and more alien to me and in the end it was not a word I could identify with at all, really.   

I mean there's a lot more to it than that but I guess that's the backbone

[daItrick]

RedCloud: keep in mind that gender isn't something you do, but what you are.

I already know. I act like a boy, yes, I'm tomboy so makes sense.
But feel... That's more difficult because
1.- I don't really feel neither genders (if someone ask me, I say ''I don't know! I think neither?? Don't ask yet. I'm still unsure but i don't feel like a girl or a boy... Maybe.'')
or
2.- I don't really know how to identify me (in other words, still unsure)
And maybe I get wrong that from yesterday because I thought that how you act defines your gender.

_{Red still can't explain ^--\(^o~^o)/^--}

[Haiz]

I already know. I act like a boy, yes, I'm tomboy so makes sense.
But feel... That's more difficult because
1.- I don't really feel neither genders (if someone ask me, I say ''I don't know! I think neither?? Don't ask yet. I'm still unsure but i don't feel like a girl or a boy... Maybe.'')
or
2.- I don't really know how to identify me (in other words, still unsure)
And maybe I get wrong that from yesterday because I thought that how you act defines your gender.

eh, you'll find out eventually. It's a thing that takes time. Again, the thing that helps most is to read about other people's experiences. Asking questions is also good! but when it comes to your own identity it's really hard to answer, you know? It's easier to ask people how they percieve themself, rather than what they think you are.

and no, how you act doesn't define your gender. Maybe I said something misleading, but that would be to say a boy becomes a girl if he wears a dress, because we percieve dresses as "girl clothes". But honestly, dresses are just pieces of textil and have zero impact on your identity. Or, say, if wearing a dress did make me a girl, but what if there's a culture where dresses are worn exclusively by boys, would visiting that place in a dress suddenly make me a boy? That's just not how things work.

There are boys who paint their nails and cry over rom-coms and like to go shopping. There are girls who lift weights and cut their hair short and would never ever touch a baby. There are boys who enjoy both sports and flower arrangements. There are girls who are both into monster trucks and, idk, playing with barbie dolls. There are literally no limits for who you as a person can be, you know?



gender-stuff aside, today's episode of hotel haiz wasn't very interesting. I was just inspecting rooms, and while I finally get to feel sorta useful (personality type: ISTJ - the Inspector), I didn't find any treasure or fun stuff today. Most exciting part was when there was icecream for lunch. whoo

[StellersJayC]

My choir went to Italy too! It was an absolutly wonderful experience and I really enjoyed my time. You're going to get to see so many cool things and have so many interesting new experiences. Italy is gorgeous and getting to perform there is wonderful. It's something I will remember for the rest of my life, and I think you will too.

As for going places without adults (or parents) it can be a bit scary at first, but I think you'll realize it's not so bad. Go with your friends and have fun. Relax and just enjoy getting to hang out and get some food. I remember being in middle school and getting to go to the mall alone with my friends and we were just hanging out and I bought some jeans and I remember feeling so cool and grown up and just having fun with them. Afterwards I was pretty proud that I could do all that on my own.

You got this! Go have an adventure! (And be sure to tell us all about it when you get back )

Okay! So what happened was first we drove over to someone's house to drop off our school stuff and then walked to the restaurant. I managed to order food correctly for the first time in my life, and then we walked back after eating. There was construction going on with the sidewalk corners, so we had to slip arpound it by walking down the middle of the street in some places. Upon arrival we watched cello videos on YouTube for about twenty minutes. We decided to then take advantage of the beautiful weather by playing frisbee, but couldn't find it, so we decided to play badminton, but couldn't find the birdie. We took a quick trip over to another friend's house and found a birdie and a frisbee. Back at the first house we tried to play badminton, but found it to be to windy. We played with the frisbee for quite a while, even having getting-frisbee-out-of-blackberry-bushes adventures. After that we laid in the grass for a while finding pictures in clouds that didn't exist.
Overall, it was a ton of fun, just like I knew it would be though my irrational brain tried to tell me otherwise.

[hushpiper]

Soooo cute!  How old is she?  Is she gray all over?

She is gray all over, yeah, except for a small white patch on her belly. And we have no idea how old she is! She looks like she could be on the older end of kittenhood... or she could be a very small adult. We're taking her to the vet tomorrow, so we'll see what he says.

She also woke me up at like 5am this morning meowing and begging for cuddles... work on your timing, you temptress!

*has a pic for this tooooooo*

Spoiler: show

In seriousness though, being unsure is totally okay. Feeling like neither gender is also totally okay. If I were you, I would put the question of which gender you act like aside, since that's a sticky sticky question that just makes things more complicated without actually giving you anything of value in return. It's much better to focus on who and what you're feeling like at any given time. A couple years back I felt like a boy or like neither gender most of the time, but couldn't really define it beyond feeling generally uncomfortable with my body and with being called "she". After meeting my husband, I started to feel female more and more, and no longer have any problems with being called by female pronouns. I tend to think it's best just to go with the moment and avoid trying to define it too strictly.

[kjeks]

I already know. I act like a boy, yes, I'm tomboy so makes sense.
But feel... That's more difficult because
1.- I don't really feel neither genders (if someone ask me, I say ''I don't know! I think neither?? Don't ask yet. I'm still unsure but i don't feel like a girl or a boy... Maybe.'')
or
2.- I don't really know how to identify me (in other words, still unsure)
And maybe I get wrong that from yesterday because I thought that how you act defines your gender.

_{Red still can't explain ^--\(^o~^o)/^--}

If I remember correctly you are still pretty young: You have lots of time to find out yet. And if you never do, like hushy said: Just be you, learn to like who you are and then choose what you want your identity to be called.

*George Herbert Mead would sit up straight in his grave for giving advice totally oppostie to his construct of identity XD*

I often end up into a little arguement with my pupils when I am telling them, that I am a "Lehrer" (male word for teacher). They often reply loudly about me being wrong since I clearly am a "Lehrerin" (female). If it comes to jobs and stuff I really just prefer to be called what is shortest. I wonder what will happen, if we introduce gender neutral pronouns in english lessons. The kids will be so confused how to translate they/ze/hir propperly into german XD and I am looking forward to it.

[Daéa Reina]

It's like... really cold. And I have to wash the dishes. Send help. D:

(I can heat up some water, but then the whole washing dishes process will take ages).

[RandomTexanReader]

It's like... really cold. And I have to wash the dishes. Send help. D:

(I can heat up some water, but then the whole washing dishes process will take ages).

*throws a water heater in your general direction*
*walks a yard*
*picks it up*
*throws it harder*
...
Yeah, I think you're on your own. Sorry.

[JoB]

It's like... really cold. And I have to wash the dishes. Send help. D:

Unless "really cold" translates into your non-heated water being ice, the dishes should be OK. Modern detergents are amazing like that (first-hand experience from camping holidays).

Set up some water to heat, then start doing the dishes ("almost clean, anyway" stuff first) with cold water. Use hot water to warm up yourself or wash the dirtier dishes, whatever is more urgent, once it's hot.

[viola]

Okay! So what happened was first we drove over to someone's house to drop off our school stuff and then walked to the restaurant. I managed to order food correctly for the first time in my life, and then we walked back after eating. There was construction going on with the sidewalk corners, so we had to slip arpound it by walking down the middle of the street in some places. Upon arrival we watched cello videos on YouTube for about twenty minutes. We decided to then take advantage of the beautiful weather by playing frisbee, but couldn't find it, so we decided to play badminton, but couldn't find the birdie. We took a quick trip over to another friend's house and found a birdie and a frisbee. Back at the first house we tried to play badminton, but found it to be to windy. We played with the frisbee for quite a while, even having getting-frisbee-out-of-blackberry-bushes adventures. After that we laid in the grass for a while finding pictures in clouds that didn't exist.
Overall, it was a ton of fun, just like I knew it would be though my irrational brain tried to tell me otherwise.

That sounds awesome! See? You got this! I'm glad it went so well and that you had fun. Here's to more independent adventures in the future! Skål!

[RandomTexanReader]

Today there was a guy playing a mandolin and singing outside of Chipotle. He was really good. I didn't have any spare cash to give him, but later I saw him at Starbucks, so I guess he did okay.

[viola]

Today there was a guy playing a mandolin and singing outside of Chipotle. He was really good. I didn't have any spare cash to give him, but later I saw him at Starbucks, so I guess he did okay.

Once I saw a guy outside a store playing a bunch of wine glasses with water in them by rubbing his finger around the tops. It made a really beautiful eerie sound.

[RandomTexanReader]

Once I saw a guy outside a store playing a bunch of wine glasses with water in them by rubbing his finger around the tops. It made a really beautiful eerie sound.

Cool! I've seen videos of that, but never actually in person.