General Discussion Thread

[StellersJayC]

I (re)discovered Twine (basically, a really simple framework for interactive fiction/ text adventures/ cyoa) today, and started spending all my time writing descriptions of objects and places playing around with it. Given my propensity for getting easily excited over small things, I currently think it's the best thing ever.

Noooo, why did you tell me about this?!

[DancingRanger]

Hey guys, I'm feeling really museless I want to make art, and do things but right now everything's just kinda Meh. You guys have any suggestions?

[BreezeLouise]

You could draw a girl hanging upside down off a flying ladder while it speeds over a body of water. And her skimming the top of the water with her finger as she flies by.

[SugaAndSpice]

Will you share a link, please?  I was a Girl Scout and I've never heard of that song... but I was a Scout loooong ago.

/>
Barges link, as per your request, Sunflower.

[Haiz]

OKAY so i've got UKM coming up this weekend

(UKM is a kind of cultural festival for youth between 10-20,, where we perform all kinda stuff from music to theatre to literature and art,, and it starts out local in each city and then judges choose representatives to go to the county performances, and some will be chosen as representatives for the whole country. I'm going to the county stage with my poems, whoo)

I'll be gone friday-sunday and I'll be sleeping on the floor of some classroom, apparently, I have no idea whether or not there's wifi over there so in case you don't hear from me in three days that's why, heh.

I'm still coughing a lot, but my voice is still just fine, so if I can keep from throwing coughing fits on stage I should be just fine. I guess I'll just stock up on mints and shove a dozen of them in my mouth right before that - hang on that'll just defeat the purpose of speaking clearly. WELL.

I'm a little worried because I'll be going "alone", like not alone (there are going to be. so many people. help) but I won't know anyone there? At the local performance I had the luck of finding one of my friends as the presenters, but she's not going to Støren for the weekend........ and augh, i don't mind being on my own or anything, but - oh. I'm basically Lalli. I do great if I'm on my own and know what to do, but when I'm at a big new place full of people I'd really appreciate a hood to cling to so I don't get lost. But hey, maybe I'll somehow miraculously make new friends!! even if most of the participants are kinda.... younger than me........
WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES I GUESS

yet another thing is how at the local performance, I had the presenter tell the entire audience (+judges) about my weirdo pronoun preference, like, HINT HINT, and yet,, when the moment came, the judges still called me a "brave young girl". And. Okay, I don't blame them, there have been many performers, and based on my name and appearance, it's an easy mistake. It doesn't really bother me. It's just. Kinda exhausting? Every time someone has called me a girl lately, it's always seemed too rude to tell them I'm actually not (it's always 'brave young lady', 'brave young girl' - not brave enough to correct you, it seems). What do I have to DO to make people stop assuming things about me?

wear this tank top?


on second thought I'll do exactly that

I mean this whole thing is so............ if being called a girl doesn't bother me that much, why do I even do this to myself? Can't I just keep "being a girl" to make everything easier for others and myself? I don't want to be an inconvenience, now do I? And I don't want to imply there's anything wrong with being a girl! because that's not it at all!!
but like
i really NEED to make people stop assuming things
not only for my sake, but for others.
I can't let my own doubts get in the way of this, because I despise this status quo of just going the easy path and assume everyone fits into the box because I've never fit into any boxes. Maybe I'm being an obnoxious special snowflake, but then again, one of my poems is literally about being a special snowflake, so yeah. sorry guys this is who you picked out as a representative no takebacks

Maybe nobody will notice. Maybe people will keep calling me girl and I will keep staying silent. Or i might end up having to educate people about non-binary identities all weekend. SO BE IT


but it's still thursday morning and I gotta face one of my other fears today, first things first - the university library. so i should put all these worries on the shelf for now. bye

[Fimbulvarg]

yet another thing is how at the local performance, I had the presenter tell the entire audience (+judges) about my weirdo pronoun preference, like, HINT HINT, and yet,, when the moment came, the judges still called me a "brave young girl". And. Okay, I don't blame them, there have been many performers, and based on my name and appearance, it's an easy mistake. It doesn't really bother me. It's just. Kinda exhausting? Every time someone has called me a girl lately, it's always seemed too rude to tell them I'm actually not (it's always 'brave young lady', 'brave young girl' - not brave enough to correct you, it seems). What do I have to DO to make people stop assuming things about me?

Dunno, maybe it's better to just stop caring what strangers assume? I mean peoplealways assume this or that about other people - like "that person is girly girl, that person looks like a criminal, that person is probably a communist". In the end people's assumptions just don't matter at all, they're strangers.

[Haiz]

Dunno, maybe it's better to just stop caring what strangers assume? I mean peoplealways assume this or that about people - like "that person is girly girl, that person looks like a criminal, that person is probably a communist". In the end people's assumptions just don't matter at all, they're strangers.

of course that's one thing if they're gonna keep it to themself, but like. if they're gonna go up on stage and announce "HELLO EVERYONE THIS PERSON IS A GIRL" to hundreds of people..................... groans. That's the point where it kinda does matter


oh man looking back, this entire spectacle is just another chapter in my story of "it doesn't matter, not gonna do anything about it - OH WAIT IT MATTERS A LOT heck what do I do"

[P__]

first things first - the university library. so i should put all these worries on the shelf for now. bye

on the uni library's shelf?

(it's always 'brave young lady', 'brave young girl' - not brave enough to correct you, it seems). What do I have to DO to make people stop assuming things about me?
I mean this whole thing is so............ if being called a girl doesn't bother me that much, why do I even do this to myself?

Heh. Don't worry: back when by hair was almost as long and what little beard I have now was barely visible, if at all, I got myself a few "madame", which I didn't correct (not many of course, bcs I'm a hermit). It's not a question of them being right or wrong, but of them being worth correcting (even though you already told them).
Of course your case is quite different because (a) you're not a boy either, and (b) you'll be seeing them for more than 30 seconds, so yeah, I dunno... The shirt is a good idea anyway. I like it.

If that's not enough, may I suggest a skirt, pushup bra and good quality fake beard? Then you'd be properly equipped to shove "non-binary gender identities: what to do" leaflets into everyone's hands (make sure it includes a "what to say instead of 'boy' and 'girl'" section, that's not easy to guess)


regarding people assuming stuff, they do that because (1) you presumably look like a girl, (2) the vast majority of girl-looking people are girls, (3) it's generally useful to know if you're talking to a boy or girl (or other, if you're aware of that), (4) it's tedious to ask everyone for just the few instances where the answer isn't the assumed one. That's how humans work; it's not always for the best, but I think many things would be awfully complicated otherwise. However, at least once they're told it they *should* stop shoving you into the default boxes
But I think that shirt you have should answer their question before they even think of it, in most cases. So, good choice

edit

OH WAIT IT MATTERS A LOT heck what do I do"

Maybe you could dedicate one of the poems to people who *like you* are neither boy nor girl, as a way to make it clear to everyone while not sounding like an annoying prick who can't stop pestering others repeatedly about how they shouldn't be called a girl. (I say "repeatedly" because, from what you say, once is not enough, but more than once or twice tends to make you the bad guy, sadly)

[Viisikielinenkantele]

Meh, I´ve got a slight headache today from the noise in the house...there are people here drilling a big hole in the cellar for our new heating device and it feels like they are hammering at my skull... on another note why do people never as they say? They said they will come on friday and that they will call in advance... heh, wednesday afternoon they were suddenly here and began to dig. So it´s a spontanous home-office-day for me today. Fortunately the kids are not here, they stay with their grandparents today, at least one thing less to think about.

Haiz: I wish you luck and that it is not too uncomfortable staying alone in a strange place with lots of people. And that the coughing stops (I know the feeling... in the winter I had to sing having a bad cough, so I was sucking some throat-pastilles all the time and was very relieved when it was over).
Hrm, and that not too many people just assume something about you...(it will happen anyway I think, humans are humans, so the shirt is a good idea)

[Mélusine]

OKAY so i've got UKM coming up this weekend

(UKM is a kind of cultural festival for youth between 10-20,, where we perform all kinda stuff from music to theatre to literature and art,, and it starts out local in each city and then judges choose representatives to go to the county performances, and some will be chosen as representatives for the whole country. I'm going to the county stage with my poems, whoo)

I'll be gone friday-sunday and I'll be sleeping on the floor of some classroom, apparently, I have no idea whether or not there's wifi over there so in case you don't hear from me in three days that's why, heh.

I'm still coughing a lot, but my voice is still just fine, so if I can keep from throwing coughing fits on stage I should be just fine. I guess I'll just stock up on mints and shove a dozen of them in my mouth right before that - hang on that'll just defeat the purpose of speaking clearly. WELL.

I'm a little worried because I'll be going "alone", like not alone (there are going to be. so many people. help) but I won't know anyone there? At the local performance I had the luck of finding one of my friends as the presenters, but she's not going to Støren for the weekend........ and augh, i don't mind being on my own or anything, but - oh. I'm basically Lalli. I do great if I'm on my own and know what to do, but when I'm at a big new place full of people I'd really appreciate a hood to cling to so I don't get lost. But hey, maybe I'll somehow miraculously make new friends!! even if most of the participants are kinda.... younger than me........
WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES I GUESS

UKM seems great ! I hope you'll enjoy it
And if you don't like places full of unknow people, don't forget you can always have a break in a quiet corner/outside and come back later (During almost every literary festival my friends lose me for a while because of too much people/noise/...)

but it's still thursday morning and I gotta face one of my other fears today, first things first - the university library. so i should put all these worries on the shelf for now. bye

I miss my university library. Books ! Books everywhere ! ^^

[Laufey]

of course that's one thing if they're gonna keep it to themself, but like. if they're gonna go up on stage and announce "HELLO EVERYONE THIS PERSON IS A GIRL" to hundreds of people..................... groans

It's a bit groanworthy even when the person in question is a girl. It just feels so unnecessary, "hay everyone, let me point out that the next one is a -". Then again Fimbulvarg's got a good point on not caring for what strangers might think or how they read you, because then you have one strong point more - note though that this doesn't mean that you'd have to just take everything lying down, just that you simply don't allow others to get at you. Think of it as a self defense move.

Icelandic is the language of your nightmares though, it actually has different adjective declension forms for male, female and neuter... except you can't really use the neuter forms for a human because it's offensive. So you'll be constantly reminded by other people which gender they view you as the moment they use an adjective.
(...heh, sometimes you can tell by how people greet you which gender they think you are. Sæll (og blessaður) is for men, sæl (og blessuð) is for women.)

Good luck for the performance! Hopefully the cough goes away!

[Sunflower]

OKAY so i've got UKM coming up this weekend

...at the local performance, I had the presenter tell the entire audience (+judges) about my weirdo pronoun preference, like, HINT HINT, and yet,, when the moment came, the judges still called me a "brave young girl". And. Okay, I don't blame them, there have been many performers, and based on my name and appearance, it's an easy mistake. It doesn't really bother me. It's just. Kinda exhausting?

Every time someone has called me a girl lately, it's always seemed too rude to tell them I'm actually not (it's always 'brave young lady', 'brave young girl' - not brave enough to correct you, it seems). What do I have to DO to make people stop assuming things about me?

wear this tank top?


on second thought I'll do exactly that

... if being called a girl doesn't bother me that much, why do I even do this to myself? Can't I just keep "being a girl" to make everything easier for others and myself? I don't want to be an inconvenience, now do I? And I don't want to imply there's anything wrong with being a girl! because that's not it at all!!
but like
i really NEED to make people stop assuming things
not only for my sake, but for others.
I can't let my own doubts get in the way of this, because I despise this status quo of just going the easy path and assume everyone fits into the box because I've never fit into any boxes. Maybe I'm being an obnoxious special snowflake, but then again, one of my poems is literally about being a special snowflake, so yeah. sorry guys this is who you picked out as a representative no takebacks

Maybe nobody will notice. Maybe people will keep calling me girl and I will keep staying silent. Or i might end up having to educate people about non-binary identities all weekend. SO BE IT

Fight the good fight, Haiz!  Anyone who's out front is going to have to do a lot of breaking trail for the ones who come afterwards, I'm afraid.  Be polite, but be persistent.  As you say, you need to make people stop assuming things, not just for your sake, but for others'. 

I do think you need to take into account P's comments (quoted below).  Presume that a lot of what you're facing isn't prejudice so much as people 1) generally defaulting to a simple world-model unless they're told otherwise (e.g. assuming everyone you wish "Merry Christmas!" to also celebrates Christmas) and 2) not yet being aware of non-binary gender identities.  I have to say, I'm still wrapping my head around the latter... but I'm also of an older generation where simply being gay took explaining.  (Heck, I remember when people thought it was weird that girls liked science and boys knew how to type.)

regarding people assuming stuff, they do that because (1) you presumably look like a girl, (2) the vast majority of girl-looking people are girls, (3) it's generally useful to know if you're talking to a boy or girl (or other, if you're aware of that), (4) it's tedious to ask everyone for just the few instances where the answer isn't the assumed one. That's how humans work; it's not always for the best, but I think many things would be awfully complicated otherwise.

However, at least once they're told it they *should* stop shoving you into the default boxes
But I think that shirt you have should answer their question before they even think of it, in most cases. So, good choice

Let me add that I absolutely support whatever gender position you (and anyone else) identify with.  And like P__, I think your shirt is a great way to explain that -- too big to miss, and also light-hearted.  (Although... will the judges, audience, etc., understand a shirt in English?

Good luck at the presentation!  We'll all be rooting for you!  (We'd be singing luck-runos if magic were really a thing...)

[Haiz]

ahaha thanks guys, it's a little hard to respond to everything individually but yes!!!

I know full well I can't avoid assumptions, but sometimes it all seems so futile... like, you cut your hair short and dye it green or whatever, wear a lot of rainbow stuff and your ace pride bracelet, that tank top, looking like the tumblriest of stereotypes...... and people STILL assume you're a straight girl......... if it wasn't so exhausting it'd be so funny. Like it's okay to be stealthy and all but i REALLY wanna make people know who I am without being too obnoxious about it (probably failed step 1)

and the local performances were held in the same house where the "queer youth" club is. AND one of the presenters was a young trans boy. this shouldn't be so hard, seriously, i'm not treading any unknown warers here?
(also. they had about non-binary identities in the NEWS a few days ago. just for like, a minute, but i was so happy i almost made very undignified screeching noises)

and like. people DO NOT get to throw the "be the change you want to see!" rethoric at me in one breath and "why does it even matter why do you try so hard" in the next. I just wish I had the mental energy to go all the way with leaflets and all.......

Laufey: ah yes, czech language is equally awful in that regard. I don't really care too much over in czech because I don't know a single non-binary czech person, and I don't really feel like telling my grandparents about all this, but almost every other word you say indicates your gender. Like, the verbs and stuff. SIGHS
(oh and are non-binary identities a thing people care about in Iceland? because that must be VERY FUN with all your patronymic names..)

and hahaha yes @ the first sentence, it is so incredibly unnecessary? Like, after I found out I wasn't a girl you realize ALL THE TIMES people point out genders when it doesn't really matter at all. One of the worst offenders is an advert at the local cinema for a university that starts with asking the audience "are you a boy or a girl?" and. it's kind of incredibly funny to me that it TRIES to be inclusive by asking what is, to most people, a question of "are you a person or a person?",, yet ends up being excluding instead. And of course, I always hear people in the cinema jokingly say "no" as an answer to it....... thanks guys

Sunflower: im doing my best! also I'm pretttty sure they'll understand english just fine. It's Norway.


AS FOR UNI LIBRARY,, i like libraries. I'm just very bad at adjusting to uni in general. My previous school was a teeny tiny blue building by the docks, we had less than 100 students total, everything was small and cozy and comfortable and uni is.... huge........ full of people......... full of people who know what they're doing........


edit: woops i made it seem like i wear lots of rainbows and cut my hair just to make people assume things about me. not true: i just really love colours and rainbows. and the haircut was for dumb ocd reasons more than anything.

[Mélusine]

and uni is.... huge........ full of people......... full of people who know what they're doing........

"full of people who seems to know what they're doing"

[Sunflower]

Sunflower: I'm pretttty sure they'll understand english just fine. It's Norway.

Dumb question on my part, I guess, but do most Norwegians study English?  Americans are so complacently monolingual, you could never assume the majority of an audience understands a shirt/sign/etc. in ANY foreign language, even Spanish.