Lazy8, that sounds pretty toxic - do be careful! And yeah, I've never understood that 'got to be in a relationship' thing myself. People thought I was weird when I didn't remarry soon after my my first husband died, because of course that's what a widow with five kids does, right? 'For the sake of the children'. I had suitors enough, but none I would trust with my precious kids. So I didn't remarry until my youngest, who had been around three months old when his dad died, was just short of fourteen. And I'm glad I made that choice. The man I finally chose was an old friend who had gradually grown closer, and we've been married now for thirty-some years. We've had rough spots, mostly cultural clashes, but we've sorted those because we talk to one another. Talking to, rather than yelling at, is absolutely vital, to my mind.
