Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:

[wavewright62]

I will not tell Lalli to lick his own eyeball.
Or convince anyone else to do the same.
Even if he is capable of doing so.

(Heeee, are we getting an Artemis Fowl crossover here?  Man, I sure hope the fairies are immune to the Rash.
 They could start by taking back Ireland...  )

[Jitter]

That goes for the Finnish gods as well as Norse ones
“They are supposed to be almighty, what harm could it possibly do” is not an excuse

[Joe Steele]

"Truth or bear" is not an acceptable team-building exercise.

[Joe Steele]

-One minute of shocked silence from my higher-ups means "By the gods, what did you do?", not "please continue".
-I am not the dictator of Sealand and will not tell anyone this.
-"Why not?" is not an acceptable justification for anything.
-Neither is "for science!"
-I have no right to call anyone a "degenerate heretic".

[Jitter]

- no, not even if they are indeed degenerate heretics
- I am not the judge of whether anyone is degenerate and / or a heretic

[Lazerbird]

-"because the voices in my head told me to do it" is not a valid excuse
- attempt to replace the turret guns on various armored vehicles with potato cannons
- I am no longer authorized to perform the heimlich maneuver or cpr, especially on sleeping
   superior officers or determine if someone has gone into cardiac arrest
- yell "ramming speed" and hit the gas on tanks to try and run over trolls
- sneaking those little brown mushrooms I found by the western guardhouse into thursday's stew

[JoB]

• offer Onni a snack off Sigrun's meat platter
• interfere with the Sentinel Vacations and Earnest Recreation Initiative (on Government Expenses)
• shovel a path out of the snow that narrowly misses the bridge over the creek
• bribe those with actual words of power into doing "translation services"
• help cover up members of the military refusing to do their duty ...
• ... or support them evading their assigned quarters (foreign militaries included with both)
• doing the "nice house you have there, be a shame if some snow were to pile up on it" routine, even if just by looming on the side menacingly
• stomping your feet on patrol to the point of dislocating paving stones and defoliating trees

[JoB]

• while forced to stay in Finland until the end of winter, run a special-purpose branch of the Madsens' dog breeding "for additional income"