Poetry collection

[corncobman]

Pg. 306

The Odd Jobs

The pair of hunters going out from the gang,
After a rather inauspicious start.
Lalli leaving Emil to awkwardly hang.
At least Sigrun did it and didn't break his poor heart.

Mikkel reminds them to at least look at the books,
And not to bring back rubbish books and trash.
The wise and pragmatic medic and cook
Also probably hopes the next place they'll not crash.

Lalli back into the tank most stealthily
Reynir noticing that he no longer stares.
He tells Tuuri "I can be useful, you'll see!
I can help with anything. I promise! I swear!"

----------------------------------------------

I Can Be Useful Now (based on I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash)

I can be useful now, Sigrun has gone,
I could do all the tasks you put my way
Gone is the dark Swede that had me bound
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Red-braidy day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the weird feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Red-braidy day.

Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can be useful now, Sigrun has gone,
I could do all the tasks you put my way
Gone is the dark Swede that had me bound
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Red-braidy day.

[Balthazar]

Page 306

From a conversation about the breathing mask around Reynir's neck, leading to referemces to Harry Potter.


"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter mask than me.

You can keep your ballroom black,
Your half mask, Gerard Butler,
For I'm the Silent World Sorting Mask
And I am a better ad-visor than all.

There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Mask can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Norway,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and whale hunting,
Set The Norwegians apart;

You might belong in Denmark
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Danes are true,
And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Finnland,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Sweden,
You'll make your real friends,
Those fiery cleansers use any means,
To achieve their ends.

Or maybe Iceland,
Could you be so bold?
Their science tempered with religion,
With safety and precision.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get out of breath!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Breathing Mask!"

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 306

“Keep Your Mask On, Reynir”
from “Save the Last Dance for Me”
by the Drifters

You can talk
In Icelandic talk on
Or sing us a song
We won’t silence you

You can try
Ev’rything you know
To help us to go
On our quest it’s true

But don’t forget
That we’re in a land
That’s tainted by
The Rash Disease
So Reynir
Keep your mask on now please

Oh I know
That the mask pulls your hair
Pain past compare
But you need it on

And the mask
May restrict your breath
But it means death
To not have it on

Cause don’t forget
That we’re in a land
That’s tainted by
The Rash Disease
So Reynir
Keep your mask on now please

We know that you’re not Immune, Reynir
So you need to wear your mask
It will keep you safe while we are here
We shouldn’t have to ask

You can talk
Babble on and on
Though we start to yawn
We won’t shut you up

You can try
To do useful things
Pretend you’ve got wings
We will let you fly

But don’t forget
That we’re in a land
That’s tainted by
The Rash Disease
So Reynir
Keep your mask on now please

But don’t forget
That we’re in a land
That’s tainted by
The Rash Disease
So Reynir
Keep your mask on now please

Keep your mask on now please
Keep your mask on now please

[Viisikielinenkantele]

Page 305

Based on "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by Crash Test Dummies

Once there was this man who
Got into a clueless crew who don´t know what to do
And when he finally tamed them
His hair had turned from blond into bright white
He said that it was from when
The woman said she never reads

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Once there was this girl who
Couldn't go and hunt with the team for treasured books
And when they finally brought some
She ripped a precious side out of it
She was really ashamed of
her clumsiness and turned red

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

But both girl and man were glad
'Cause one kid had it worse than that

'Cause then there was this boy whose
Teammates made him come directly bathing after work
And when they splashed with this hose
He shook from all the freezing-cold water
They couldn't quite amend it
With getting hot water.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm

[Viisikielinenkantele]

Page 306

Based on "Down Under" by Men At Work

Lalli:
Traveling in a fried-out cattank
On a forlorn trail, ahead only trolls
I`m with a strange team, they make me nervous
One took me in and gave me breakfast
And he said:

Well done on your reconnaissance
where monsters lurk and books slumber
Don´t you think the others a nuisance
You better sleep, you better get rest there

Emil:
Trying hard to be nice to our scout
saying things to get in touch with him
I said: "Don´t be sad to be left."
He just stared and gave me a wide berth.
And I said:

I want to go down there and see
If we can´t plunder some building
Can´t you hear, can´t you hear the crier
You better run or set them on fire.

Tuuri:
Typing on an old typewriter
With a mask on, and not much to say
I said to the boy, "Is there something to help with?
Because you seem to look slightly forlorn"
And he said:

Oh! I just came to be helpful in here
I can be useful I swear
can´t you hear, can´t you hear my begging
I´m going crazy here doing nothing.

Oh! Do they come from a way over yonder
Where women glow and men wonder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the trolls come
You better run, you better take cover.

[Sunflower]

From p. 306:

Last night I was listening to that earworm du jour "Just My Type" by Saint Motel. And you know you're an SSSS addict when it inspires you this way:

[awesome horn riffs throughout]
MIKKEL:
Take a look around the room
Worthwhile books are known by titles.
How to go about and choose?
Don’t break it down by shapes and sizes.
Our clients have very… specific… tastes.

SIGRUN AND EMIL:
These books are just our type!
They’ve all got words that we’re not reading.
They’ll all be worth the hype.
EMIL:
Uhh, I think it’s time that we get leaving.

LALLI (in his head):
When troll-goo's dripping over there,
Something’s wrong – what is that breathing?
I can’t help myself but stare
Double-check for evil heavings.
I’m a man with very… specific… sight.

SIGRUN AND EMIL:
These books are just our type!
They’ve all got words with senseless meanings.
Someone will buy this tripe!
Uhh, I think it’s time that we get leaving.

SOMEONE IN THE WALLS:
HhhhHHH yYyoU're juSst mMy tyPe!
Yy0u’Ve got a puL1se & yYo0u rR breAaAathing
(slither) yYoUu’re jusSTt my tyPe
I thInk I’lL CcOme down ofFff the ceilLling
I’m a tröoll with vVveEery speçCific tåaÅstes…

[corncobman]

Pg. 307

Boy Go Fetch

Reynir is distracting the poor skald
With his constant cries for attention.
Interrupted, her work has now stalled.
She needs peace, but is afraid to mention.

He wants to be helpful right now but,
It's having the opposite sort of effect.
She has to rid herself of this nut,
Before her effort gets further wrecked.

"Please fetch me my bag from the other room."
She wants him away but she hasn't the heart.
Closing the screen door so her work can resume.
To keep the poor Reynir and Tuuri apart.

Enthusiastic Reynir at last has a use.
What will he find when he returns from his quest?
The door closed and the chase was a wild goose.
At least Lalli and he can resume their staring contest.

-------------------------------------------------

Bag That I Hunt (based on Band On The Run by Paul McCartney and Wings)

Stuck inside these four walls
Sent inside forever
Never seeing a place nice again,
Like you, Bornholm
You, Bornholm...
You...

If I ever get out of here
Thought of giving my all today
To do any task I can say.
All I need is a job a day
If I ever get out of here
(If I ever get out of here)

Well, the pair departed with a mighty roar
As they walked into the wood
And the first one said to the second one there,
"I hope we'll get more food."

Bag that I hunt, bag that I hunt
And the jailer man,
And Sigrun ma'am
Are away, while I come
For the bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt.
For the bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt.

Well, the Tuuri lady drew a heavy sigh
Seeing in there I had come
And the skald was typing from the dusty book
She was learned that person.

Bag that I hunt, bag that I hunt
And the Swedish man,
And Sigrun ma'am
Are away, while I come
For the bag that I hunt, bag that I hunt.

Yeah, the bag that I hunt
The bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt

Well, the scout retreating
To the catlike tank into the sleeping room
In the room I'll hunt for the bag everywhere
As he'll never wake up soon

Bag that I hunt, bag that I hunt
For the skald Tuuri, who ordered me
Will search for ever more.
For the bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt
Bag that I hunt

[Viisikielinenkantele]

Page 307

Based on Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

(I am begging, let me help you, I am begging)

I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out

(Chatting my day away, Reynir, please go away)

I search for leather bags, I search for duffel bags,
I search for smaller bags, I search for bigger bags,
I search for bags that remind me of my sisters´
I search for bags that remind me of my brothers´

(Oh Braidy boy, Braidy boy, Braidy boy)

I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out

(Chatting my day away, Reynir, please go away)

I search for leather bags, I search for duffel bags,
I search for smaller bags, I search for bigger bags,
I search for bags that remind me of my sisters´
I search for bags that remind me of my brothers´

(Don't bother me, noisy person)

I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out
I get locked out, but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out

I get locked out, (I´ll be crying)
but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out (when I´m begging)

I get locked out, (I´ll be crying)
but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out (ooh)

I get locked out, (I´ll be crying)
but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out (when I´m begging)

I get locked out, (I´ll be crying)
but I get in again
You are never gonna keep me out (ooh)

I get locked out, (I´ll be crying)
But I get in again (please can you go away)
You are never gonna keep me out (when I´m begging)

[corncobman]

Don't F5 in Anger (based on Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis)

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the comics you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head.
Stay inside 'cos it's updating real soon
Stay down inside the sleeping place
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna wear my patience out

And so no-one can wait
You know it's too late as you're walking on by
Your soul drifts away
But don't F5 in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows
If it's night or day
But please don't put your mind in the hands
Of the comic book fans
Who'll blow your head away

I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed
'Cos you said the brains I had went to my head
Stay inside 'cos it's updating real soon
Stay down inside the sleeping place
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna wear my patience out

Oh no-one can wait
You know it's too late as you're walking on by
Your soul drifts away
But don't F5 in anger
I heard you say

Oh no-one can wait
You know it's too late as you're walking on by
Your soul drifts away
But don't F5 in anger
I heard you say

So no-one can wait
You know it's too late as you're walking on by
Your soul drifts away
But don't F5 in anger
Don't F5 in anger
I heard you say

At least not today

[corncobman]

Pg. 308

Dream a Little Dream for Me (based on Dream a Little Dream for Me lyrics by Gus Khan)

Door closing shut before you
Wind blowing seemed to close it "I'm sorry"
You're tired, try to get some more sleep
Dream a little dream for me

Say nighty-night and get sleep
Just go sleep tight and tell me you're sorry
While I'm alone and sorry to thee
Dream a little dream for me

Hopes fading but I soldier on dear
Still hoping you're dismissed
My task to transcribe till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till Lalli finds you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream for me

Hopes fading but I soldier on dear
Still hoping you're dismissed
My task to transcribe till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams, till Lalli finds you
Gotta keep dreaming leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
You gotta make me a promise, promise to me
Everybody dreams you see

----------------------------------------

Dream to Forget

Reynir finds the room door is shut,
Tuuri slowly closed it behind him.
She says it was wind, sorry, but
Chances to get back in looking grim.

Mikkel sneaks up, grabbing his shoulder.
Trying to get him to stay still.
Coaxing the poor bloke, the fellow older,
To the bedroom against Reynir's will.

He didn't get much sleep at all did he?
Time now for him to catch it all up.
Everyone dreams when they sleep, he'll see.
Even if he said he never does, the young pup.

What will happen when he finally drifts?
Will he dream and will he recall?
Will he discover those hidden gifts,
Of the unexpected kind, above all?

[LooNEY_DAC]

A quick twofer…

Pg 307

“One Last F5”
from “One Last Goodnight”
by Carol Burnett & Co.

One last F5
For the night
One last F5
I hope you sleep tight
No fears
Just slumber so peaceful now
You'll wake
To a page that makes you wow...

=
Pg 308

“Poor Doc Mikkel”
from “Old Doc Whoovey” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf1UX-yXcHc
by T Geisel

Poor Doc Mikkel
He’s stuck with these loons
And the dear leader’s
The biggest goon

So he said,
“Reynir,
Boy, now that you’re here
Just go on to sleep and
Let me handle Sigrun
Just go on to sleep and
Let me handle Sigrun.”

(Spoken)
-He’ll handle who now?
-He’ll handle Sigrun.
-I sure hope so!

(Sung)
Poor Doc Mikkel
Where did his cookies go?
It’s another black mark
That he doesn’t show

When he saw poor Reynir
He told him, “Come here
We can’t have you wander
All around to and fro
We can’t have you wander
All around to and fro.”

(Spoken)
-Is Sigrun, ah, dangerous?
-Nah, not unless you’re a troll!
-If you say so...

(Sung)
Poor Doc Mikkel
Trying to maintain his calm
After puppy-like Reynir
Tuuri’s mien is a balm

If they did it his way
It all would be OK
“So go on to sleep now
Just go on to sleep now
Yes go on to sleep and
Let me handle Sigrun”

[slim kittens]

page 308

For Emil, because he's such great comic-relief and was voted "Most Likely
To End Up In A Troll"

* - whispers from the nest hoard
FYI: trolls can be quite sarcastic

Courtesy of Emerson, Lake and Palmer

/>
FROM THE BEGINNING
or
A Feckless Emil is Taunted by Trolls

tHeRe mIgHt hAvE bEEn cLeAnSeRs mIssEd
sOmE mIgHt'Ve sLiPpeD tHrOuGh
wE dIdN't mIss yOu...  (*nOt THIS tImE..*)

pErHaPs tHeRe wErE tRaPs wE sEt
wE ShOuLdN't hAvE uSeD
yOu sAw tHrOuGh oUr rUsE

bUt hErE yOu aRe  (*fInAllY*..*hEe hEh*)

yOu sEe iT's jUsT fAtE
yOu wErE mEaNt fOr oUr pLaTe...  (*nOm nOm nOm*)
fRoM tHe bEgInNiNg
                                                
mAyBe yOu cOuLd hAvE cHaNgEd
aNd nOt bEeN a fOoL
bUt wE tHiNk iT's cOoL  (*rEaL sMoOtH...*)

wHaTeVeR hAs pAsSeD iS pAsT
aLL gOoD tImEs mUsT eNd
aNd oUrS jUsT bEgInS...  (*oH yEaH...*)

yOu sEe iT's jUsT fAtE
yOu wErE mEaNt fOr oUr pLaTe...
fRoM tHe bEgInNiNg

(*mOrE cOwBeLl tHiS tImE...*)
[Troll band instrumental to end...]

Of course we can't LEAVE Emil in a troll nest...

FYI: Sigrun can be quite sarcastic and Emil can be very dense

Courtesy of Leslie Gore

/>
GROSSLINGS GET TO FRY

But now the grosslings get to fry
Grosslings get to fry, grosslings get to fry
Cause Sigrun's come back
(Sigrun's come back, come back)
For me

Creeping down the hallway in the darkness
(the darkness)
I slipped on somebody's slime
Flat on my back when I looked up
I was surrounded by eyes

But now the grosslings get to fry
Grosslings get to fry, grosslings get to fry
Cause Sigrun's come back
(Sigrun's come back, come back)
For me

I couldn't get my hands on my explosives
(explosives)
A grossling had me pinned down
Sigrun jumped out and she killed it
We ran and she had a frown

And now the grosslings get to fry
Grosslings get to fry, grosslings get to fry
Cause Sigrun's come back
(Sigrun's come back, come back)
For me

Sigrun was so happy with my bravery
(my bravery)
She punched the side of my head
Norwegian praises sound so angry
I couldn't make out what she said

But now the grosslings get to fry
Grosslings get to fry, grosslings get to fry
Cause Sigrun's come back
(Sigrun's come back, come back)
For me

Yeah, now, the grosslings get to fry
Grosslings get to fry, grosslings get to fry

You might be wondering how the trolls ended up with a laid-back jazz-rock number
while Emil gets an early 60s pop song that a few years later would have
been referred to as "bubblegum music", so I asked Troll 37.  He said:

"tRoLls aRe cOoLeR tHaN hUmAnS..."

[Viisikielinenkantele]

Page 308

Based on Summertime, George Gershwin

Silent World, living here is not easy
Trolls are lurking and the danger is high
You are still unsure if you´ll cope whith this life
But hush, little Reynir, don´t you cry

Right at this moment the dreamworld´s waiting for you,
Where you`ll meet someone who´s closer than you think,
You will be learning to be as useful as them
So hush, darling, sleep and don´t you cry...

Courtesy of the trolls:

sUMmeR DReaMS keEP on rEAchiNG foR uS
OnE lASt MeAL befoRE thE wINtEr iS duE
kEEp on cOMing, wE WIlL awAiT yoU ALl eAGeR
wEll, hUSh, liTTlE clEaNseR, doN´t yOu cRy...

[Aprillen]

Page 307 (but really for chapter 5)
(Emil being gently reminded by Mikkel that the books are their primary goal.)

All About The Books

(based on All About That Bass by Kevin Kadish and Meghan Trainor)

Because you know I'm all about the books
'Bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books

Yeah, it's pretty clear we haven't got a clue
But we can shake things up, it's kinda what we do
'Cause we got some boom boom that all the Trolls hate
And all the right junk to shove in their faces
This is a scary scene, what is that horrid glop?
We know the Rash is real, it doesn't make us stop
Hey, we found books and books, just grab 'em up
'cause every one of 'em is worth it from the bottom to the top
Oh, mama, the gold and the glory, and all the fights!
'Cause while we'd all like a little more booty in the hold at night
You know I won't be no disfigured millipede morbid Troll
If the city burns down it's a shame but that's how I roll.

What's that? Oh, no, I'm all about the books
'Bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books!

I'm bringing booty back!
Go ahead and tell them mean old teachers, Hey!
You called me stupid and you called me fat,
But I'm here to tell you,
Every inch of me is perfect from the bottom to the top!
Oh, mama, the gold and the glory, and all the fights!
And though I would like a little more booty in the hold at night
You know I won't be no disfigured millipede morbid Troll
If the city burns down it's a shame but that's how I roll.

Oh, sorry, yeah, I'm all about the books
'Bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books

Because you know I'm all about the books
'Bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books

Because you know I'm all about the books
'Bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books, no trouble
I'm all about the books, 'bout the books...

[corncobman]

Pg. 309

Sleep Tight

Mikkel wraps Reynir up nice and tight.
Like a mummified corpse or a burrito style wrap.
Reynir can do nothing but sleep for the night.
Mikkel is gonna take none of his crap.

The only things unwrapped are Reynir's head
And his seemingly sentient braid of red hair.
Lalli is already asleep under that bed,
But it didn't seem like anyone noticed him there.

Time for the hyper kid to calm down now
And have himself a pleasant day dream.
Will he end up in Lalli's somehow?
We'll find out later, back to the outside hunting team.

Emil's eyes are both closed in the rain,
While Sigrun pulls him to the edge of the slope.
Looks like they're pulling their arms both in vain,
Trying to get up grassy bank there with no rope.

-----------------------------------------------

Bedsheet Wrap (based on Monster Mash)

I was running in the tank, with my braid
When Mikkel caught me and then he said
"Must be tired, get some rest" I rubbed my eyes
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the wrap, he did the bedsheet wrap
The bedsheet wrap, it was all tightly strapped
He did the wrap, and my arms couldn't flap
He did the wrap, he did the bedsheet wrap

From my bed mattress in the bedroom east
I tried persuading to get myself released
Then I tried a miraculous feat
To wriggle out from my tightened sheets

He did the wrap, he did the bedsheet wrap
The bedsheet wrap, it was all tightly strapped
He did the wrap, and my legs couldn't flap
He did the wrap, he did the bedsheet wrap

This pickle was just no fun
The morning had just begun
I was in too tight and deep
Nothing to do but sleep

I tried to help out, the skald had me me fooled
Like a cigar, sure to be ridiculed
Then medic Mikkel just left me like that
Alone near the floor, lying on the mat

He tucked the wrap, he tucked the bedsheet wrap
The bedsheet wrap, it was all tightly strapped
He tucked the wrap, and my arms couldn't flap
He tucked the wrap, he tucked the bedsheet wrap

Resigned to my fate, I lay back down
Seemed there was nobody else around
Too tired to move and I couldn't now squirm
Feeling like rather a strange caterpillar or worm

It's now a wrap, it's now abedsheet wrap
The bedsheet wrap, it was all tightly strapped
It's now a wrap, it caught on in a flash
It's now a wrap, it's now a bedsheet wrap

Now everything's cool, I'm sort of tired right
And my bedsheet wrap is a wrap nice and tight
For me, the dreamer, this blanketted bliss
When you get to my room, you'll know Mikkel did this

Then I was wrapped, then I was bedsheet wrapped
The bedsheet wrap, and I was tightly strapped
Then I was wrapped, and my arms couldn't flap
Then I was wrapped, then I was bedsheet wrapped