Poetry collection

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 118

...Because “In the Navy” would’ve been way too easy.

“Cleanser Recruiting Song”
from “YMCA” by the Village People

People
Are you drifting through life
Without purpose
With a heart full of strife
Come and join us
Make the most of your life
Cause you can serve your fellow Swedes

Come on
Turn your sad life around
Come and join us
Change the way that you’re bound
Be a Cleanser
A new meaning you’ve found
And you can be the one who leads

Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Make all the grosslings run
From your all-cleansing flame
Make even giants fear your name

Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Hear the Motherland’s call
Redeem the Silent Lands
We need the strength in your good hands

People
Was your village destroyed
Come avenge them
Ev’ry man, girl and boy
This is our land
And we’re taking it back
But we need you to join the pack

Join us
Join the Cleansers today
Join the future
As we carve out a way
Fight the darkness
With our all-cleansing flame
And you will never be the same

Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Make all the grosslings run
From your all-cleansing flame
Make even giants fear your name

Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Hear the Motherland’s call
Redeem the Silent Lands
We need the strength in your good hands

People
We were all once like you
Av’rage people
Our old lives made us blue
But now people
There’s something you can do
Come join a fellowship that’s true

Be a Cleanser
Think of the stakes
Come and join us
Show you’ve got what it takes
Join the Cleansers
It’ll be your best break
E’en if you’ve made a few mistakes

Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
Come on and sign with the
Cleansers today
I said people
Are you drifting through life
Without purpose
With a heart full of strife

Cleansers today
Come on
Join in the
Cleansers today

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 228

Darkness comes...

“The Black Noise”
from “Killing Me Softly”
by Roberta Flack

It all began with sickness
Such pain I thought I’d die
But then my body twisted
Misshapen--no hint why
I had become a monster
Without a voice to cry

Screamin’ my pain
Through the ether
Tryin’ to understand why
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Screamin’ all across
The spectrum
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease

This carcass won’t obey me
I’m trapped inside myself
And I can’t even talk to
Ask someone for their help
This prison once my person
Holds me here as I am

Screamin’ my pain
Through the ether
Tryin’ to understand why
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Screamin’ all across
The spectrum
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease

I’m living out a nightmare
Bound here with no release
And so I scream silently
When will this torment cease?
It’s been this way for so long
Torment everlasting

Screamin’ my pain
Through the ether
Tryin’ to understand why
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Screamin’ all across
The spectrum
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease

Screamin’ my pain
Through the ether
Tryin’ to understand why
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Screamin’ all across
The spectrum
Longin’ for

Now I’m
Screamin’ my pain
Yeah, ‘cause I
Can’t understand
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease
Screamin’ all across
The spectrum
Longin’ for nothin’
But surcease

[Aprillen]

Page 277 - Chapter 5 Title page, framed with a long, red braid...

(Based on Aragorn's Song from The Fellowship of the Ring, with apologies to professor Tolkien)

All that is hair does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost.
And although the cold may be bitter
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

In the wasteland a path will be travelled,
Twixt the perils of giant and troll,
Renewed shall be braid 'twas unravelled,
The fellowship shall be made whole.

[Rhynerd]

Page 277: Song is Based off of Coffee and Wine by Chadwick Stokes (link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV12cDj0YBM)

"Novels and Art":

Turri you know lived with her brother
Back in her Finn army days
She never could tell what there was in the old world
And he intended to keep it that way

She joined our fair team with cousin right in tow
Quit the force, had a 3 month's stay
They took off to sea, when Lalli's shift did end
But her brother stayed back on that bay

And she'll treat novels like their fine art, art like mere paper
Anytime's a good time for scouts and skalds to find work
With the ferry now boarded, it's going off again
Though a dark Gulf on it's way to Sweden (on it's way to Sweden)

Emil's a swede, one of many cleansers
Early life was of the ol' rich boy's way
Now if there's bombs being tossed then
You better believe you want him as the, one tossin' 'em.

He quit for the family, to see the Silent World
Ended up learning of a big book plan
Oh, in his old job he didn't suffer from trolls
He intended to keep it that way

And he'll treat novels like they're fine art, art like mere paper
Tools were denied, but he got on Dalahästen
But if you gonna ride that, then you better fight a giant 'till the tunnel saves

Just treat novels like their fine art, art like mere paper
Load up the cat tank with the captain and the medic
The bridge has broke, looks like they're gonna keep raiding, extra days

Their first mission had hauls of worth
As they looked through a "hospital"
But they found a live troll nest right on the bar floor
And sent the place to hell

Now after running away
The team is all safe, at the Kastrup fort
And their biggest catch might be
This journal from, medical men

And they treat novels like they're fine art, art like mere paper
Now we're here in the break but soon they'll have one mage more
The name's not known, for now we gonna call him Braidy

We'll drink our tea like it's fine wine, wine like it's water
That's how we'll tell folks they called out the wrong gender
If you don't know, that braided folk's a guy

And they treat novels like they're fine art, art like mere paper
Now we're here in the break but soon they'll have one mage more
The name's not known, for now we gonna call him Braidy

We'll drink our tea like it's fine wine, wine like it's water
That's how we'll tell folks they called out the wrong gender
If you don't know, that braided folk's a guy

[Sunflower]

SnootsDwagon came up with a very clever translation of Lalli's runo on p. 278.  Although we have several fine versions from actual Finns, I like this one:


Here is translation, guaranteed accurate because it is dwagon stuff:

Kuulkaa henget hämärtyneet
Tuonen tieltä erehtyneet
Pyydän puhtahalla suulla,
anon sulosanasilla

What the blazes is wrong with this transmitter?
They can build a CatTank but not a radio?
I swear the next time I see an engineer
I'm going to kick him right in the future generations.

Vaeltakaa väljemmälle,
kulkekaa jo kauemmalle.
Muiden kujien kulmille,
toisten talojen turuille

I am glad that of all my friends here
Only one can understand this.
And she realizes that spells don't rely on words
But upon being really ticked.

Sitä lausun, jotta käsken
Vaiti väki vaivalloinen

I hereby state and command thee
to work you [expletive omitted] machine!

Tahikka tei’ät manoan!
Nostan luontoni lovesta,
vieritän verisen kiven,
vieraat varjoihin kiroan.

Unless you listen and start working
I will take a screwdriver
And turn you into a flush counter
In the toilet room. Installed in the bowl.

... and now we know why radio suddenly worked good.

[Sunflower]

Before I realized SnootsDwagon doesn't have a Forum ID (and something's wrong with that picture), I created a plea to him/her, in proper runo meter, to move his/her translation of Lalli's spell here.  People seemed to like it.


O SnootsDwagon, kindly reptile,
Since you made Sunflower giggle,
Won't you think of future readers,
Store your wit for late arrivals?
Let it not be buried under
Forty thousand later comments.

Take, I pray, that great "translation,"
Copy it and safely move it,
Store it in the Forum waiting,
In our "Poetry Collection"
(Since that scans in runo meter).
Post it now all neat and tidy,
So that we can tell our children,
"This is Lalli's rune translation,
This is how he quelled the spirits,
These are threats that work on airwaves,
This is the 'most best' rendition."

Noodly Appendage
runo meter!

Sunflower 
(Sigh.)

Runo meter is addictive.

Four-beat lines packed tight with trochees,
No enjambment ('less you're desp'rate),
Fills your head like radio earworms,
Keeps on beating and repeating,
Will not ever stop its pounding,
Repetitious in its statements,
What it just said keeps repeating,
"Lamentations full of anguish"
Till the poor skald's head is aching,
Plead I for some surcease quickly.
Stumbling now towards YouTube channel,
Call I now for stronger magic,
Fighting one spell with another.

Click

/>Ahhhh.

LooNEY_DAC 
A line of fourfold iambs, though
Can also catch the ear, and so
Since Carroll used it, oh, so well
A tragic episode to tell
When it came time to make it song
The melody was just so strong
A jaunty tune it swiftly made
But no one came to Carroll's aid
Though featured in a movie fair
The fickle public did not care
Aside from druggies on their kicks
And so the critics took their licks
But Disney's work survives anon
Outlasting scoffers, every one

[corncobman]

Pg 278

Giddy these updates feel,
Such the waiting was.
Almost want to squeal,
Reading with a buzz.

Lalli with the magic chant,
Glowing hands, waving round.
All it takes is a faceplant
Hope they are homeward bound.

Still they see no magic done.
Only a thump they feel
Sitting out in the sun
They won't believe it's real

[Nimphy]

Page: 278
Author: Aprillen

Hear me now, oh wayward children
Playing, shouting, here unbidden
With my nicest voice I'm speaking
Neither threatening nor shrieking:

Please find other playing places
Other neighbourhoods and spaces,
Run around some other lot, now,
There's a good bunch, off you trot now.

Right, you're getting most provoking
Stop this now, I am not joking!

Do not make me come and get you!
You'll be sorry, this I bet you!
You'll get off my lawn right now, or
You will see my thwacking power!

[Aprillen]

Ooh! I came to post my own silly "interpretation", and Nimphy already did it!
I'll just have to post Mikko's very beautiful and proper translation instead.

Page 278
By Incanus01 (Mikko)

Lalli's Exorcism (translation)

Harken to me spirits faded
gone astray from paths of Tuoni
with speech pure I now beseech thee,
pray with words of sweetest cadence.

Wander ways away from this place,
journey farther ever from here,
corners to of unknown alleys
neighbourhoods of other dwellings

This I utter,
thus command I:
Silence to thee
folk most vexing.

Or I shall now all abjure thee
spirit mine incite from dream-state,
stone of blood will cast upon thee
curse outsiders to the shadows!

-Mikko-

[Snoots Dwagon]

Ode to da SSSS Forums

Sunflower asked Snoots "Join da forums"
After reading Lalli's chant.
But if she knew more 'bout dwagons
Prolly later wish she shan't.

Waiting for next Lalli spell
Or anything in scritches scratches.
Minna writes in weirdy-words
So we write pomes all in batches.

Dwagons not too good at pomes.
Writing wif three claws a pain.
But since now is here on forums
Prolly will write pomes again.

da end

[wavewright62]

By request, my own not-quite-genuine-Finnish translation of Lalli's invocation on p. 278:

"The commenters are getting restless
going so long without an update
Hear their beseeching cries
and trounce the trolls' tropes with your voice:

O bring us back our mages and skalds
O bring us back our captain strong
take back the harsh cries of TroLlIsH cAsE
into the deeps from whence they came."

"Listen up!
We wait no more!
Begone despair and sullen endless F5
Let the squirrel cookies no longer pall,
while we wait on fresh pages!

How hard can it be?"

[corncobman]

Pg 279

Two pages at a time!
Too much to absorb.
The colours are sublime.
Tuuri's face is adorbs.

Lalli is all spent,
They shall never know.
What his expression meant.
And his sweating so.

The crowd back home in shock
To find that they survive.
Relieved faces, stare and gawk
About the happy five.

Unexpected was the call,
Loud reply that Torbjörn made.
Expected them to fall,
During their literary raid.

----------------------------------------



Radio Caused the Tuuri Ear Stars (based on Video Killed The Radio Star by Buggles)

I heard you on the wireless on day twenty two
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you
If I was young it didn't stop you coming through

Oh-a oh

They took the credit for your second symphony
Rewritten by machine and new technology
And now I understand the problems you can see

Oh-a oh

I met your children

Oh-a oh

What did you tell them?
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Audio came and broke your part

Oh-a-a-a oh

And now we meet in an abandoned studio
We hear the playback and it seems so long ago
And you remember the jingles used to go

Oh-a oh

You were the first one

Oh-a oh

You were the last one
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
In my mind and in my car
We can't rewind we've gone to far

Oh-a-aho oh
Oh-a-aho oh

Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
In my mind and in my car
We can't rewind we've gone to far
Audio came and broke your part
Put the blame on Torbjörn's bark

You caused the audio stars
You caused the audio stars

Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars

Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
(You caused the audio stars)
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
Radio caused the Tuuri ear stars
(You caused the audio stars)

Oh-a oh
Oh-a oh
Oh-a oh

[Auleliel]

I posted this on p. 277 on the last day of the chapter break and forgot to copy it here until now. It's kinda long so sorry if it breaks the forum...

One Day More (from Les Miserables, link to song + original lyrics)

Cast:
Valjean = Longtime fans
Marius + Cosette = Newcomers + ex-lurkers
Eponine = Minna
Enjolras = Me (Auleliel)
Jalvert = Rabid fans
M. + Mme. Thenardier: Fanartists
Students Group 1 = Lalliemil shippers
Students Group 2 = Drinking gamers


Longtime fans:
One day more.
Another day until our destiny.
This never-ending road into ennui.
This waiting for another page
Will surely last another age.
One day more.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
I did not post until this page.
How can I live until the update?

Longtime fans:
One day more.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Tomorrow seems a world away,
And yet my obsession's just started.

Minna:
One more day to draw alone.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Will we ever read again?

Minna:
One more day of preparation.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Without posts what will I do?

Minna:
What, the fanbase still has grown?!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Ah, I'll join the forum, too!

Minna:
Once, I thought they'd never care!

Auleliel:
One more day before The Page!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Do I follow all the threads?

Auleliel:
At this website I find freedom.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Shall I add some comments there?

Auleliel:
Now my hope begins to form.

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Do I stay; do I dare?

Auleliel:
Will you wait online with me?

All:
The time is soon, the page is near!

Longtime fans:
One day more!

Rabid fans:
One more day to revelation.
We will not rest 'til it's up.
We'll be ready for the update.
We'll hit F5 'til it's stuck!

Longtime fans:
One day more!

Fanartists:
Draw another pic.
Write another poem.
Post it on the forum
from at work or home.
Sew another stitch.
Add the final touch.
Everyone will love it
and admire it much!

Lalliemil shippers:
One day 'til we can meet Braidy?

Drinking gamers:
Raise the flagon of beer high!

Lalliemil shippers:
Will they finally have a "thing"?

Drinking gamers:
Ha! Another one! Let's drink!

Lalliemil shippers:
Is a love triangle beginning?

Drinking gamers:
Need a bottle; this one's done.

All:
Did you see the update yet?

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
My place is here; I'll vote for you!

Longtime fans:
One day more!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
I did not post until today.

Minna:
One more day to paint alone!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
How can I live until the update?

Rabid fans:
We will join all of the fansites.
We will follow all the tweets.
We will learn another language.
We will write all of the threads.

Longtime fans:
One day more!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
Tomorrow seems a world away.

Minna:
What, the fanbase still has grown?!

Newcomers + ex-lurkers:
And yet my obsession's just started.

Rabid fans:
One more day to revelation.
We will not rest 'til it's up.
We'll be ready for the update.

Fanartists:
Draw another pic.
Write another poem.
Post it on the forum
from at work or home.

Longtime fans:
Tomorrow is so far away.
Tomorrow is the update day.

All:
Tomorrow we'll discover
What our god in Finland has in store.
One more dawn.
One more day.
One day more!

[Aprillen]

Sunflower posted on page 279:

"That lavender shading on her hair is very flattering -- she should keep that in future chapters! (Maybe Emil can fix her up? Do they have any grape Kool-Aid for improvised hair dye?)"

To which I replied:

"As far as I know, there is no Kool-Aid there even now. They will have to do it magically.

    Dear Creator, fair and mighty,
    Can you make my hair highlight-y?
    Please don't use whatever nearest,
    Use the purple, Minna dearest!"

(I hope silly doggerel is OK to post here as well...)

[corncobman]

Pg. 280



Candlelight Meal

Trond's face is grumpy yet,
The others more expectant look.
Many nights they must have fret,
After the bridge collapsed and shook.

The book tally is disappoint,
The numbers less than thrill.
Can't return to the prior joint,
Maybe onward they'll find more still

We don't know how much time elapsed,
The crew must be famished now.
Surprisingly though the pan collapsed,
The pan deposited their chow.

"KRUTS" and "SHWAMP", unpleasant sounds,
For those that want a hearty meal.
The pan is shot, the stove is drowned.
Disappointed they must now feel.

Mikkel looks for something good,
Opening up a cargo crate.
What he finds makes poor food.
Candles aren't exactly great.

With a face that says "kill me",
He holds one of them aloft.
Situations not so lucky
Seem to happen to them oft.

-------------------------------



Candles in the Crate (based on Candle in the Wind by Elton John)

Goodbye tasty meal
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you bawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered all of their chants
They set us on the hallway
And they made us change our pants

Chorus:
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like the candles in the crate
Never knowing who to cling to
When holding the plate
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a rook
Your bottom fell out long before
Your contents ever cooked

Hungriness was tough
The toughest role he ever played
Torbjörn created a superstar
And pain was the price he paid
Even when he cried
Oh the trolls still hounded him
All the papers had to say
Was that Emil was so dim

(Chorus)

Goodbye tasty meal
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you bawled
Goodbye tasty meal
From the young man that was closest to the deck
Who sees you as something more than sustenance
More than just our breakfast wrecked