Poetry collection

[LooNEY_DAC]

From Pg 66:
The “Mary Poppins” Prologue Suite
=
Norway -- “Keep Granny Safe”
from “Let’s Go Fly a Kite”

Gunnar, please, please do me this boon
I don’t know, we might not have room
We were going to get booze
Not give Granny a cruise
But you’re not listening
Oh, Gunnar, you’re a king!

Please bring Granny back
From her old, run-down shack
See, she’s all alone
The Rash is coming
To me, she’s very dear
Please bring her right back here
Oh, Gunnar, you’re a king!

I don’t see why I need to come
This whole Rash thing seems so dumb
Oh, my dear Granny, please
It would put me at ease
*Grumble* Oh, very well
Thank you, Gran! I’ll send help

And they will
Please bring Granny back
From her old, run-down shack
Gunnar, you’re a king
To do this for me
Soon, I’ll have Granny here
To me, she’s very dear
Oh, Gunnar, you’re a king!

=
Denmark -- “I Hate My Job”
from “I Love to Laugh”

Turn us around!
I need to go back home!
Turn us around!
Or I’ll litigate everyone!

Oh, Signe, please!
Calm down the angry man!
Oh, Signe, please!
We think that only you can!
I’LL LITIGATE YOU ALL!
We’re sure that only you can!

Oh, you say you have a meeting
You’ll be fired if you miss
I’ll just mime calling the captain for you
He says the Bahamas are first

You should be fired!
Not work at all!
Hey boss, I’m trying to get back--
Now I’m a bum
Who should hang out on farms

Oh, what can it be this time?
I’m a fat, ugly slob
And a bum with nothing to do
I think you’re big-boned
And I’ve been let go
So I’m unemployed too

I like your cat
Magnus is his name
Mine is Michael
Signe is mine just the same

My sister’s farm
Is where I’m going to stay
Will you come with me?
I think I could see my way

=
Finland -- “The Loons Migrate”
from “A Jolly Holliday”

It’ll be a great vacation, you’ll see
Just ignore their craziness
Don’t you worry about
Your old witch boss
Or about this whole Rash mess

Now isn’t this better than waiting tables?
She shut the restaurant down now
Anyway

And while you’re with us dear
We’ll make it clear
We’ll shut off all the news
While you are here

And it’ll be a great vacation, you’ll see
Just spending time with
People that we love!

=
Sweden -- “A Lonely Trip”
from “Feed the Birds”

All alone
Fighting snow
On a long, winding road
A single Saab sedan was bound

With a fam’ly within
Trekking to their cabin
Where safety from Rash may be found

Querulous elders and
Restless young sprouts
Ketch and complain
All the way

Until Father steps in
Reining in his odd kin
They flee from the end of the world

=
Iceland -- “Hold the Line”
from “Feed the Birds”

All around us the nations
Have all fallen Silent
As each one succumbed to the Rash

And still boats of Infected
They make for our waters
And we can’t even let one slip past

Though we all
Despise what we do
Stay strong
Stand fast
We must all be true

Hold the line
Against the Rash
Stay strong
Stand fast
Against the Rash

Oh, Doc Petur, I can’t do
This thing we’ve been doing
Anymore, I just want to go back

I can’t sleep for my nightmares
And days are no better
Oh, all right. Quarantine for two weeks

Herding sheep
That’s my new life
Farming
Ranching
Maybe a wife

Never leave
My dear Iceland
Then all
Will be
Well again

=
Year 90 -- “Life Goes on”
from “A British Bank”

Are you the group
Applying for funding?
No, we are here to make a complaint
That is the office down the hall
Or there’s a number to call
We’re old, and can’t afford a phone

The pavement’s cracked
Right outside your building
In fact, it could be hazardous now
I hate old people rambling on
Here, now, begone!
Don’t let the pavement trip you up!

The Council held
A vote on your project
Though I’m not sure they all understood
It passed, but by a single vote
So please, take note
You’ll get no more than we’ve set here

We will accept
Your generous offer
We’ll make it work on this budget, too
When winter comes, we’ll send them out
It’s true, without a doubt
Our team will probe the Silent World!

What shall we do?
It’s far, far too little
To get a crew as large as we’ll need
Stop pouting like a spoiled brat!
The prospectus has fat
For us to trim away, you’ll see

And so we’ve cut
As much as we dare to
From 8 to 5, and them idiots
This bunch of weirdos we’ll acquire
No one else would hire
I just hope that they’ll survive this

Yeah, it's long. Sorry.

[corncobman]

Pg. 273

Do you Wanna Find a Braidy? (Based on Do you Wanna Build a Snowman from Frozen)

Do you wanna find a Braidy?
Come on lets go and play
I never see you anymore
Come out the door
It's like you've gone away-
We used to be best buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why!-
Do you wanna find a Braidy?
It doesn't have to be a Braidy.

Do you wanna find a Braidy?
Or ride our tanks around the halls
I think some company is overdue
I've started talking to
the pictures on the walls-
(Hang in there, Joan!)
It gets a little lonely
All these empty rooms,
Just watching the hours tick by-

Braidy?
Please, I know you're in there,
People are asking where you've been
They say "have courage", and I'm trying to
I'm right out here for you, just let me in
We only have each other
It's just you and me
What are we gonna do?
Do you wanna find a Braidy?


---------------------------------

Breaking spirits

Lalli makes his long return,
Trudging back to his reality.
His search for the hair auburn,
An exercise in futility.

A bleak and bright distant dreamscape
Trouble on his young slender brow,
Unable to find the one with the cape.
Maybe he'll get some needed rest now.

Shadowing figures inside the water show,
The skies are dark yet filled with a glow.
Travelling on this forsaken lake.
Bring on the much dreaded chapter break.

[Sunflower]

A RUNO

Gifted Minna, wise creator,
Source of all our entertainment,
Hear, we pray, your fans' entreaties,
Lamentations full of anguish,
As we wait for next day's content,
Hoping anxiously for Braidy,
Sight of redhead to be vouchsafed,
Icelandic mage who's worth our squee-ing.

We who are your faithful servants,
Loyalest of ardent fandom,
Beg for news of next page coming,
Plead at least for status updates,
Wish to know how long to wait here.
Should we stay or should we go now,
Turn to duties or to dinner,
Or to bed so long postponéd?

You who wrestle with the Muses,
Build for us a world e'er richer,
Have, we know, a sterner struggle,
More creative, more exacting,
Face each day the fear of crashing,
Or of postman's knock so dreadful,
Or of cat on keyboard resting.
You we never wish to bother,
Wish you only peaceful refuge,
Wish you wrapped in blissful trances,
So that you'll keep drawing pages,
Gifted Minna, wise creator.



NOTE: Minna uploaded the next page about 20 minutes after I posted this. So by the magical spell "post hoc ergo propter hoc," I'm gonna take credit.

[LooNEY_DAC]

Pg 139
I couldn't find any Eddie Foy, Sr. stuff, so here's Eddie Foy, Jr. instead.

“It’s a Simple Little Mission”
from “It’s a Simple Little System”
by J. Styne

E=Emil, T=Tuuri, B=Torbjorn

B: It’s a simple little mission
And we hope you understand
You the skald and your four team-mates
Will explore the Silent Lands

Such a simple little mission
But one part we’ve kept from you
While you’re there we have a
List of books for
You to bring back, too

B: How’s your Icelandic?
T: Passable
B: And your Danish, child?
T: Pretty good
B: And for you Emil--
E: I don’t care

B: Emil, what is it?
E: Why was this not mentioned once?
B: Well, it’s secret, boy!
E: You’d better not rip me off!
B: Don’t you worry now
E: Oh, we’ll talk about this more!
B: Once you get back
With the books

B: Here are ancient maps
T: These should help
B: Old newspapers clips
T: These as well
B: And a camera
T: A real camera

B: That’s the lot of it
E: How much cash are we to get?
B: Ah, that’s what I thought
E: You’d better not rip me off!
B: Don’t you worry now
E: Oh, we will talk about this more!
B: Once you get back
With the books

B: It’s a simple little mission
And we’re chafing to begin
We’ll take the Dalahasten
And meet the others going in

B: Then you’ll cross over to Denmark
And get the precious tomes
Which we’ll trade for stacks of money
Once you have them safely home

All: We’ll be rich!
We’ll be rich!
We’ll be rich!

T&B: Older books are worth a lot
To the right collectors so
If our crew can find some
They’ll sell for an obscene amount
Everything is settled then
Finding some should be a cinch
Trekking through the Silent World

B: Come on, Emil! Let’s get into it!

T: With these maps and this old book list
E: You’d better not be scheming!
T: Our full crew is so Fortune-kissed
E: Or, even worse yet, dreaming!
T: Our two seniors are so expert
E: I warn you!
T: This mission will succeed
I can tell it!

B: Bring the books back!
E&T: For the money!
For the money!

B: Bring the books back!
E&T: For the money!
For the money!

All: Oh, what a mission!

[corncobman]

Pg. 274

What's new Hissycat (based on What's new p****cat)

What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa
What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa

Hissycat, Hissycat, I've got flowers
And lots of hours
To spend with you.
So go and straighten your cute little Hissycat tail!

Hissycat, Hissycat, I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your Hissycat nose!

What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa
What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa

Hissycat, Hissycat, you're so thrilling
And I'm so willing
To care for you.
So go and calm down your cute little Hissycat face!

Hissycat, Hissycat, I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your Hissycat eyes!

What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa
What's new, Hissycat?
Whoa, whoa

Hissycat, Hissycat, you're delicious
And if my wishes
Can all come true
I'll soon be stroking your sweet little Hissycat fur!

Hissycat, Hissycat, I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your Hissycat tail!
You and your Hissycat face!
You and your Hissycat fur!

--------------------------------------------------



Wandering in the Dark

The woman wanders with a cat on her back
Watching are shadows, the woman they keep track.
The cat is alert to the presence of trolls.
However she isn't, still forward she strolls.

Blissfully blind to the danger that lurks.
Or to the cat's unique troll hunting quirks.
In darkness they are, of the hiding persuasion.
Hope she isn't unlucky on this occasion.

[corncobman]

The Hills are Alive

The Hills are Alive with the sound of oozing
Within rocks they have lurked for a hundred years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of bruising
My heart wants to cry every crunch it hears

My heart wants to beat like the running of feet
That rise from the hole to the slope
My heart wants to howl like a wolf
That flies from a trap on a rope

To sob like a child when it trips
And falls over stones on its way
To cry through the night
Like a lark who is trying to pray

I run from the hills when my heart is afraid
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be cursed with the sound of oozing
And I'll scream once more

---------------------------------------------------

Webcomic Addict

When you visit the site
And can't help but rhyme
When you look day and night
And you lose track of time

When you comment on all
And every reply
Refresh every minute
'Till your keyboard, it cries

Every corner you look
For trolls everywhere
Every cranny and nook
Every panel you stare

Every detail you glean
Each word every face
All and every scene
Every single line trace

It holds an allure
Every minute you've clicked
You realise that you're a
Webcomic addict.

[Brandenfascher]

By myself ( Comment URL: http://sssscomic.com/comic.php?page=274#comment-1871748382 )

A Silent World ("A Whole New World" Parody)

--------------------------------------------------

We can show you dark worlds
Dulled, decrepit, yet splendid
Tell me, Emil, since when did you last set a troll on fire?

Lalli, open your eyes
Locate that which we plunder
Whilst avoiding the troll nests
So we don't provoke their ire

A silent world
A new historic revenue
No one says "Catank, no;
You drive too slow" or ticket us for wrecking

A silent world
Infested place we have come to
And while we journey here, it's very clear
That now we're in a silent world anew
(Now were in a silent world anew)

Mikkel always is wise
Tuuri's yearning for reading
Sigrun's slashing and burning
Through the ruins for our prize

A silent world (Don't you yet fire that gun)
A hundred million trolls to face (Hold your breath and stay silent)

We broke the shaky bridge
Now at a ridge
We can't go back
To where we used to be

A silent world (who just escaped my eyes?)
With a new person to pursue (Where's that braided hair fella?)
Lalli searched everywhere
No time to spare
Let's journey this silent world with you

A silent world
A silent world
That's where we'll be
Except Onni
Outlandish place
Must keep up pace
Or you'll be feed.

[corncobman]

Pg. 275

Rapid Rash

Her hair was a dull grey, almost like ash.
Harmless enough we thought, was just a mite rash.
Little did we know of the horror we faced.
Red patchy areas, her flesh it laid waste.

The unfortunate soul who was a little bit sick,
Spreading around at a pace that's too quick.
Within a few weeks she's covered in sores.
Lock every window and all of the doors!

This affliction is no mere common cold.
Photograph symptoms - a sight bloody, behold.
Franticly scribble down informative text.
Horrific and gruesome, pray that you aren't the next.

------------------------------------------------------



Why Does it Always Rash on Me (Based on Why Does it Always Rain on Me by Travis)

I can't sleep tonight
Everybody's saying everything is alright
Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all of these lights

Sunny days, where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rash on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rash on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning

I can't stand myself
I'm being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I've got my mind on something else

Sunny days, oh where have you gone
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rash on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shinning
I can't avoid the lightning

Oh where did the blue sky go?
Oh why is it spreading so?
It's so cold
I can't sleep tonight
Everybody's saying everything is alright
Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all of these lights

Sunny days, where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rash on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rash on me?
Even when the sun is shinning
I can't avoid the lightning

Oh where did the blue sky go?
Oh why is it spreading so?
It's so cold

Why does it always rash on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rash on me?
Even when the sun is shinning
I can't avoid the lightning
Why does it always rash on me?
Why does it always rash on...

[LooNEY_DAC]

From pg 275
A somber tune for a somber page…
“The Rash Is My Master”
from “Nothing Else Matters”, Metallica

My dreams now never to be
Looking at myself what I see
A corpse but one that’s walking free
The Rash is my master

Wanted to see the world someday
Life is good but it slips away
And here I forever lay
The Rash is my master

None of us wants to die like this
And to think how much I will miss
Ignorance of my fate would be bliss
The Rash is my master

Never felt such pain before
Never felt Death get so close
Even so

My dreams now never to be
Looking at myself what I see
A corpse but one that’s walking free
The Rash is my master

Never felt such pain before
Never felt Death get so close
Even so

Wanted to see the world someday
Life is good but it slips away
And here I forever lay
The Rash is my master

None of us wants to die like this
And to think how much I will miss
Ignorance of my fate would be bliss
The Rash is my master

Never felt such pain before
Never thought there could be more
Never wanted just to die
Never felt Death get so close
Even so

My dreams now never to be
Looking at myself what I see
A corpse but one that’s walking free
The Rash is my master

[Bouncey]

"Wade in the Water" - my first contribution to filk anywhere!

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, Lalli
Wade in the water
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Who's that yonder dressed in white?
Wadin’ in the water
Must be Lalli tryin' ta call Braidy
And Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, Lalli
Wade in the water
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Who's that yonder dressed in red?
Runnin’ in the water
Must be the mage that we ain't met
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, Lalli
Wade in the water
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Who's that yonder dressed in blue?
Under the water
Must be the trolls that're coming through
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, Lalli
Wade in the water
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

YoU dOn'T beLiEVe wE cAn Be rEdeEmeD
Wade in the water
jUSt yOu WaIt tiLL tHe MaGeS hJaLp MiG!
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Wade in the water
Wade in the water, Lalli
Wade in the water
Trolls’re gonna trouble the water

Sung to "Wade in the Water" https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play?p=wade+in+the+water+youtube&vid=66d9dc8e3af5e4550e349cfa9d444ee3&l=5%3A06&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DVN.608052311714826041%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DQwkWSAJZmIw&tit=Wade+in+the+Water&c=10&sigr=11bf0ogko&sigt=10h0n2vjn&sigi=11r3de17i&ct=p&age=1359745542&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&fr=aaplw&tt=b

[corncobman]

Pg. 276

End Scene.

A beautiful page full of bright joyous tint.
Even better too, I imagine, in print.
This peaceful scene, a picture of bliss.
Although the whole team seems rather remiss.

Just don't look too deep in the water, dear friend.
Or you'll start to see shapes unpleasant extend.
Away from the face, hands and reflected troll slew.
Let's focus on the ducks and our merry crew.

So this is our sextuplet, somehow united.
Braidy and random cat seem rather excited.
Huddled together over some kind of creek,
Whoever this guy is, he's surely not meek.

Grumpy Emil is grumpy you see,
Maybe it's Braidy, too close to Lalli.
Do I spot some jealousy there?
Is it because he has more fabulous hair?

Tuuri with her slight concerned look,
"I really wanted to look at that book."
Maybe she's worried about far distant danger,
"And who is this mysterious stranger?"

Finally Lalli seems able to sleep,
Even though he's collapsed in a heap.
Mikkel looks impatient, his arms folded thus.
"I don't know why this guy's travelling with us."

Sigrun looks at him with a mad grin.
"Oh everything's fine. This team is win!"
What a diverse group, a strange sort of mix.
Roll on the break and the next chapter: six.

[Brandenfascher]

"Cat-house in Your Pack" by me, page 274. ( Direct Comment: https://disqus.com/home/discussion/sssscomic/stand_still_stay_silent_webcomic_page_274/#comment-1874954288 )

Parody of "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants

-----------------------------------------------

I'm your furry friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little meowing friend
But really I'm not humanly a friend
But I am

Little kitty in the backpack of your outfit
Who watches trolls for you
Make a little cat-house in your pack
Not to put too fine a point in it
Please feed me cat food in just a minute
Make a little cat-house in your pack

I have confessions to tell
I'm cat, you're my clientelle
It's a simple concept and you'll hear me fill in with great detail
While I'm back here, listen to me
mewing expeditiously
I am a felis catus, Grade A for protection you see
My job's a benefit
I sense when the trolls are near so you can rest

Little kitty in the backpack of your outfit
Who watches trolls for you
Make a little cat-house in your pack
Not to put too fine a point in it
Please feed me cat food in just a minute
Make a little cat-house in your pack

I'm your furry friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little meowing friend
But really I'm not humanly a friend
But I am

There's some eyes here looking at me
In the rocks a troll, can't you see?
These ones just watching us, waiting for chances to eat thee
I don't respect that a lot
Keep you safe is all of my job
I'll be hissing up a lot to make aware and fend them off
Fur friend of awesomeness
I'll guard your vittles! Keep always near

Little kitty in the backpack of your outfit
Who watches trolls for you
Make a little cat-house in your pack
Not to put too fine a point in it
Please feed me cat food in just a minute
Make a little cat-house in your pack

(and while you're at it
keep the heat-packs warm inside the
backpack on your back)

Not to put too fine a point in it
Please feed me cat food in just a minute
Make a little cat-house in your pack

Little kitty in the backpack of your outfit (and while your're at it)
Who watches trolls for you (keep the heat-packs warm inside the)
Make a little cat-house in your pack (backpack on your back)

Not to put too fine a point in it
Please feed me cat food in just a minute
Make a little cat-house in your pack

[LooNEY_DAC]

Inspired by corncobman's not yet posted Simon & Garfunkel filk (so POST IT already)

Pg 276
“This Gorgeous Moment”
from “The Sound of Silence”
by Simon & Garfunkel

Hello duckies
My old friends
I left my bread
Back in the glen
Oh Duckies please look
Far below you
See the beasts and
Maybe trolls too
So the grosslings
That are on the hunt for meat
They won’t eat
And hurt this gorgeous moment

So many horrors
Have we seen
In these Danish
Lands unclean
And now sheltered
On this old bridge
We feel our terror ease
Just a smidge
When we saw the things
Coming up from beneath you two
Yes it’s true
It broke this gorgeous moment

Foolish ducks
I tell you go
Grosslings want to
Eat you so
Heed my warnings
You might quack on
Not for grosslings
To light snack on
But these birds
Like silly pigeons stayed
Quacks they made
Echoed in this gorgeous moment

Yes these birds
Sublimely stayed
Sitting targets
Duckies made
As the cat hissed out
Its warning
To the birds
On that sweet morning
And the mage said
The birds and the grosslings are
So familiar with this stream
Just like a dream
Enchanted in this gorgeous moment

[corncobman]

Fine geez. It's almost as if you read my stuff....

Bridge over Troubled Water (By Simon and Garfunkel with some slight modifications)

When you're weary, feeling small
When trolls are in your eyes
I will fry them all
I'm on your side
Oh when times get rough
And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When something falls so hard,
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on silver duck, sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

[slim kittens]

page 275

Found on the cattank hood: an envelop addressed "To tUuRi"

Inside, a card:

ThE hOrRiBLe ThInG aBoUt GiAnTs,
Is gIaNtS ArE hOrRiBLe ThInGs!
ThEiR tOpS aRe CoVeReD wItH hOrSe SkuLLs,
ThEiR bOttOmS uSeD tO hAvE wInGs.
ThEy'Re AlWaYs HuNgRy, fuLL oF fUnGi,
RuN, rUn, RuN, rUn, RuN!
FoR yOu, ThE mOsT hOrrIbLe ThInG aBoUt GiAnTs
Is We WiLL sOoN bE oNe.
WE...WiLL sOoN bE ONE!

Grossling humor. Gotta love it.