Author Topic: Prompt of the week!  (Read 47370 times)

dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1050 on: November 27, 2022, 05:17:30 PM »
Jitter, a very fitting Onni story.  Considering he is still young, even if he is of age is well described in your story.  Onni trying to be all for his young charges is sad, especially he has needs also.  I like the fact Lalli knows before Onni.

I giggled when Onni referred to Lalli as a little gremlin.

Plus the life will find a way sentiment.

I felt this one deeply.  Very nice. 
« Last Edit: November 27, 2022, 05:21:48 PM by dmeck7755 »
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

Jitter

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1051 on: November 27, 2022, 05:40:04 PM »
Thank you kindly, dmeck and thorny (whom I failed to thank in my previous message).

This week’s prompt? Anyone?
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dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1052 on: November 27, 2022, 05:48:31 PM »
How about hibernation?  I have definitely been feeling the call of longer naps recently.  Ha ha
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

tehta

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1053 on: November 27, 2022, 06:57:50 PM »
That was beautiful, Jitter! Those last few paragraphs...

I am also quite amused that Lalli has managed to scout his new home so thoroughly without Onni noticing.
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Róisín

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1054 on: November 27, 2022, 09:40:19 PM »
That is a lovely story! And being a ‘belongs to the Land’ person myself, and knowing how hard I find living in cities, Onni has my complete sympathy.
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angsttronaut

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1055 on: November 28, 2022, 04:20:33 AM »
That's a lovely story Jitter! A bit of peace for the Hotakainens when they're going through the worst time of their life.

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1056 on: November 28, 2022, 05:45:58 AM »
Thank you all :) The last paragraphs about how life is never beaten came to me when I was writing it. I am no mage (or am I?) but I sometimes feel the forest just like that.

Tehta, remember how Lalli feels his environment, I don’t know if he’s actually been there before or if he just knows where to go. On the other hand he’s well known for doing what cat so he probably has.

The prompt for this week is HIBERNATION! Thanks Dmeck!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2022, 05:47:42 AM by Jitter »
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thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1057 on: November 28, 2022, 07:50:54 PM »
Tehta, I'm so glad that you got time, and energy, to write that piece! I loved it! Those first three lines of dialogue from Onni...
“Mmm.”
"Umm?"
"Hmm,"
...are priceless!

And of course the whole story is great. We are, indeed, talking about acceptance here, because Emil, and the others, have witnessed more than enough to put the existence of those supernatural beings, or forces, beyond any doubt.

Jitter, your story is also fantastic. Such an insight into those first days, and how hard it must have been to Onni. And it's good to revist Keeru. I believe it can be an ispiring location for more stories (hum... Young Lalli's adventures...)
Speaking of Lalli, those lines about him...
"(or, in case of Lalli, got food brought to him from the common hall)"
"The little gremlin had a point."
"Forest. I told you. Tyhmä!” (=stupid, if Google translated it right)
...are priceless!

So thank you both, and let's see if I can do something with Hibernation (which is a nice idea, dmeck!)

On my side... As usual i got carried (far) away for my "winter" story, that then enveloped also "cold"... and now I have in my hands a large story that will probably be in the 20k words range when completed... and now I decided to split it in parts so I can hope to present something in a short time... Let's see what I manage to do. :)
« Last Edit: November 28, 2022, 08:32:12 PM by thegreyarea »
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dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1058 on: November 28, 2022, 08:30:13 PM »

On my side... As usual i got carried (far) away for my "winter" story, that than enveloped also "cold"... and now I have in my hands a large story that will probably be in the 20k words range when completed... and now I decided to split it in parts so I can hope to present something in a short time... Let's see what I manage to do. :)
I can’t wait to read it
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts

thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1059 on: November 29, 2022, 10:30:55 AM »
So I did something about hibernation... but that may not be the hibernation you've been looking for. ;)



(Not much detail here, particularly with the team... It's more like a production sketch for a hypothetical "SSSS in Spaaaace" movie :D )

(before someone asks, the drawing "structure" was made in CAD software, because I wasn't in the mood to do it by hand :) The team and the colouring was done by hand with drawing pen and colour pencils)

(and no, you're not going to fall from the ceiling because this is a (somewhat) realistic movie so there's no artifical gravity and they are not under trust ;)  )

Spoiler: show
Does this scene immediately reminded you (like me) the final scenes from Ridley Scott's "Alien" movie when...

 (40 years+ spoiler alert )

...the Alien shows up when Ripley is getting ready to enter the hibernation chamber? You want me to make the door slightly open and add a Xenomorph? Tuuri might not think it's funny, though...
« Last Edit: November 29, 2022, 10:51:25 AM by thegreyarea »
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JoB

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1060 on: November 29, 2022, 11:34:43 AM »
(and no, you're not going to fall from the ceiling because this is a (somewhat) realistic movie so there's no artifical gravity [...]
Spoiler: show

You want me to make the door slightly open and add a Xenomorph?


Spoiler: show

Little did the Known Universe know that by omitting artificial gravity, thus reducing them from jumpscares to floatscares, they had accidentally found the ultimate grossling xenomorph repellent.
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angsttronaut

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1061 on: December 02, 2022, 06:27:20 PM »
Hibernation brought to mind the bears for me, so here is something depressing about them:
Spoiler: show

Hibernation
The bear sniffed the air, taking in its sharpness. Autumn had come to the forest, and she had a lot of work to do before the winter. Her claws pried at the earth, nose nudging a series of roots from their hiding place. A good way to start the morning. She began eating.

Her cubs squalled behind her. Snarling, the bear shoved them away from each other, giving them withering looks. Winter didn’t wait for cubs to play their games. If they were to survive in the deepest cold, they must eat as much as they can. She pulled a root from the ground and presented it to the smallest cub, who hadn’t recovered from the cough they got some time ago. She snapped it down, and the other cub joined them with a squeal, not wanting to be left out.

She led them through her territory, taking special care to mark it. This wasn’t the time for other bears to go trampling about her ground. Most of the bushes groaned under the weight of berries, which she made sure her cubs ate. They weren’t happy about the pickings. One shoved their snout into a pile of grubs and gulped them down, turning up their nose at the nuts she rolled over to him. She could tell the cubs were missing meat. She hadn’t hunted for a few days now, but perhaps it was time? They needed all the food they could get.

When she began scanning for any leads, the problem that had been dogging her since the start of autumn presented itself again; there just wasn’t much prey this year. Not the squirrels that were little more than nibbles, yet tasted all the sweeter for it. Not a young moose separated from its mother and bleating. Not even a single boar snuffling around for the mushrooms, and getting testy when she got too close. The other bears were quiet, too. When she pointed her nose in direction of one that lived close to her, his territory not starting more than a few bounds from where she stood, it occurred to her that his scent was stale. While her cubs started another game, she ventured onto his land, through his berry thickets until something sour struck her nose like a bee’s sting. Rotting, dead, diseased bear. She turned back towards her cubs; she didn’t want them near that foul smell.

-

It was her small cub that sickened first. She woke up in the early hours with a whimper and wouldn’t sit still, and when it got bright, the bear noticed she had thin-haired spots on her belly and livid red skin. She licked her and forced her to eat, despite the cub trying to turn down the mushrooms growing beside their den. But once she got her going, her cub played and kept up as normal.

The next day, she herself woke up with an ache in her head and sore, scabby paws. She left the den early to groom, soothing her aching paws with her tongue before going on her next walk with the cubs. This time she sensed something promising to begin the day. A moose. Harder to kill when there was no snow, but she would manage, even with two cubs in tow.

She heard the moose stagger from far, far away. Never before had it been so easy to track prey. It didn’t take long to get right behind it while it nibbled some bushes. For a moment, the bear hesitated. The moose’s sickly smell reminded her of the dead bear now that she was so close, and it had scabby haunches. It had a good amount of fat, though, and she launched herself at it, knowing so much meat would be good for the hibernation to come.

It crumpled under her like dried-out leaves. Her cubs came right at her heels for the meat, tearing into it and squabbling despite her growls for patience. She had got them to settle and was eating the somewhat sour meat by their side when she heard the yipping.

The wolves smelled wrong, she knew it in her bones, despite them rarely showing up in her patch of the woods. Their skin dangled loosely, wobbling with their every movement. A glaze had set into their eyes, like a dead thing. Their smell, too, was of death, but they appeared perfectly alive. She froze, considering what to do.

Her biggest chose for her by swatting in the direction of the biggest wolf, showing off his half-grown body. It shuddered, a rippling wound appearing along its spine. What happened next was something she’d only seen happen to a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Another creature of pulsing sinew and too many teeth sailed from the empty skin of the wolf, ripping into her biggest cub.

She roared and landed a blow on the beast hard enough to send part of it flying, and ran. The cubs followed; the wolves stayed with their kill and their injured companion as the sun broke out from beneath the clouds.

They sprinted all the way to their den, and when they got there, her biggest flopped down with a groan. She nudged him onto his back to see the damage. The wound started at his forehead and went all the way down to his belly. Not too deep, and the blood was gumming over already. She licked it until he stopped whimpering alongside the smallest, and soon her cubs were fast asleep. She circled their den for the wolves. Wolves were not supposed to emerge their former bodies like moths, she didn’t think. It would’ve been good to have had all that moose, too, because she could feel the weather sharpen and the urge to hibernate thrum in her bones.

-

When he woke up, the biggest had come down with the itchy skin illness and his wound was red and sore. None of the bears went far that day, even when the bear smelled a boar. The scent was all wrong and rotting, and she had a feeling it wasn’t carrion. This autumn, they would just have to go without meat. The smallest barely ate her portion of roots, throat vivid red. When they dozed in the middle of the day, she vomited. That night brought a heavy frost.

-

She couldn’t put it off any longer. The bear staggered towards the den she’d cobbled together for them, skin tight on her bones; the wolves had come to their den, and she’d been forced to make another. She nuzzled around the mosses, nibbling some dead leaves. The last roots she found had gone to her cubs.
She licked the bare hide of her smallest, who shivered and whimpered in pain. She curled up in the den and fell asleep in a few heartbeats. The walk through the bright light had taken a lot out of her. Next was her biggest. He collapsed, hide pockmarked in disease, skin dangling from where infection had rotted it away. She could see his diseased ribs, see how they blackened and crumbled into nothing. He sniffed the air to reassure himself the others were still there; his eyes had turned to pus-filled pits and then to nothing. Thankfully, the pit where his nose had been could still take in smells.

The bear sighed and huffed at them to scuffle away from the edge of the den. It was shallow and she could feel the bite of icy wind at the back, but it was the best she had been able to do with her paws a bloody mass of sores. She huddled between her cubs and the opening to shield them from the cold. Perhaps when spring came, things would be better.

tehta

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1062 on: December 02, 2022, 07:19:53 PM »
Angst, I don;t know what to say. On the one hand, this is beautifully written, and really puts me in the skin of a bear. On the other hand, BEARS.
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thegreyarea

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1063 on: December 02, 2022, 09:32:11 PM »
Great story, angst! As Tehta said, you really managed to make us feel like mama bear, conveying the whole mix of instincts, confusion and sadness of her story. Well done!

And I managed to finish the first part of my Winter story! Just three weeks after the schedule! :D

I hope you like it. I'll try to complete the next part sooner than later.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43384431/chapters/109059390
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dmeck7755

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Re: Prompt of the week!
« Reply #1064 on: December 03, 2022, 12:04:23 PM »
Angst, Grey,

Both stories are wonderfully written.  Being in the mind of mama bear was very enlightening
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.

~ Gregory David Roberts