Emil had been planning to kick off his shoes quickly and violently, stalk upstairs to his room, and slam the door. But then the triplets ran out to greet him and ask him why he hadn’t removed his coat, and Aunt Siv heard the commotion and came out to ask him how his “picnic with new friends” had gone, and then, after he had stupidly removed his coat, “why on Earth had he taken his gun to a picnic”, and by the time he had given all the expected soothing answers acting out his actual feelings would have just confused everyone. Especially since Lalli, his intended audience, had wandered off somewhere,
Anyway, he no longer even felt all that angry, at Lalli, or at himself. No, he felt more… worried. Because, regardless of what he had just told Aunt Siv, the “picnic” had definitely not gone well, and he had the strong suspicion that he was about to become just as unpopular among Mora’s rich young adults as he had been among the Cleansers, or among the village children of his childhood.
Lost in dark recollections, he slipped into his room and closed the door quietly, before stepping towards the bed and–
“Agh!” he shouted involuntarily, when he noticed that he was not alone. “Lalli! What are you doing here? I’m not speaking to you!”
You’re not?” Lalli frowned.
Emil hesitated, unwilling to contradict himself by answering the question.
“Okay.” Lalli’s frown deepened. “But… I don’t know why. Is it because you think I put you in danger? I didn’t. I was aiming at the beast the whole time. I was going to shoot it if you did not."
For a moment, Emil was back at the forest’s edge, watching the beast charge towards him and desperately trying to remember all of Sigrun’s gunnery lessons as he squeezed the trigger. The danger had felt so real, and his success–a little heroic. Even in spite of what had happened right after.. But now Lalli’s words were taking even that away from him.
No, he could not remain silent.
“I see,” he said, as icily as he could manage. “So, you expected me to fail. To miss my shot, or maybe even to panic, like Johann and Gustav."
Lalli blinked. “No, I expected you to shoot it dead. And the other two, also: they seemed so sure of themselves when they suggested bringing guns. I was just being safe.”
“Safe? You sent that beast straight at us. In what world is that safe?”
“It was safe enough. I had my rifle, like I said. And they did ask me to find them a beast to kill. That’s why they wanted us to go to the outskirts. Or… did I misunderstand?”
“You didn’t. They did say that. Only…” Looking at Lalli’s focused, earnest face, Emil felt the last of his anger disappear. His anger at Lalli, anyway. Johann and Gustav were another story. “I don’t think they thought you could do it? I mean, they did keep saying that you should use your magic, and of course they don’t believe…” Emil shrugged apologetically.
“I know they don’t. They’re complete idiots.”
“And that’s why I was surprised, too, when the beast charged. When you went off into the wood, I thought you were just, you know, escaping them and their stupid talk. I didn’t think you would use magic just to prove something to complete idiots.”
“I did not use magic. I do not need any to track and lure a dumb beast.”
Emil sighed. “Right. I should have realized that. Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Lalli hesitated for a moment. “And I am sorry too. That you are… upset? You are, right? I still don’t know why.”
Emil sighed again, and sat down on his bed. “Yes, I am still upset. But not with you. With them, for saying stuff to you, and for being complete idiots. And with myself, for not getting angry at them sooner. If I was going to yell, I should have done that when they were being rude to you, not after the beast was dead. Either way, they are now both offended And.” He buried his head in his hands. “And they will tell everyone that I am a coward.”
“They did call you that.” The mattress dipped down very slightly at Emil’s right as Lalli joined him. “Maybe I should have yelled at them too. For being rude to you, and also lying. It would be easy to do in Finnish, but Swedish–”
“Lying? About what?”
“About being good with guns. And about you being a coward.” Lalli shifted a little. “They know you are not. Civilians are sometimes confused, but even they must notice when someone steps in front of them, and shoots a beast to protect them.”
“They didn’t say I was a coward for shooting, but for yelling and insisting that we all go back to town right after.”
“That also makes no sense. We had to go back to town when we saw how pathetic they were. And yes, your yelling was loud, but it worked. The useless idiots are safe now.” He patted Emil’s shoulder lightly. “And we never have to see them again.”
Emil wished it were that simple. He was certain that their little adventure would have further consequences.
But at least he no longer felt like a coward.
