How could I miss this thread so long ? ?
In the 'play by post' I jokingly challenged people to prepare a mayonnaise and Nimphy's answer was, to say the very least, frightening (don't beat me, dearest !)
So, for what it's worth, here comes (tadaaaa!) the true mayonnaise.
Needed : a small salad bowl or large cereal breakfast bowl, a whisk (or a fork if you don't have a whisk, but a whisk is really worth the few coins it costs), one egg, a small spoonful of mustard, olive oil (or any other good oil), a good right (if you're right handed) wrist.
Very important : all ingredients at temperature room ! and not too warm. Newbie's error : picking the egg out of the fridge at the last moment. Don't. Just don't.
Also : use a heavy bowl or find a way to stabilize it or hire your roommate to hold it, since you will need your two hands to work. And use a spherical bowl, not a large mug.
1 - break the egg, manage to put only the yolk in the bowl (you know how to do that ? I can try to explain further). White would spoil the sauce.
2 - add a knife tip of mustard (good mustard, preferably). This is a trick to make the emulsion process easier, a trick I was given by a very good cook (which I am not). Add pepper and salt, you can be generous with pepper - matter of taste.
3 - mix all this with the whisk (or fork), until it's homogeneous (that's not long).
4 - (assuming you're right handed) Whisk in the right hand, mixing. Olive oil bottle at left. Pour a *very* little quantity of oil while you mix. When homogeneous, oil again, and repeat. NEVER STOP MIXING and don't try to pour too much oil at the same time. Soon you will find yourself pouring a thin, continuous trickle of oil. Mix, mix, mix. If you do it the right way, the sauce 'prend' or 'monte' (takes ? grows ? rises ?) i.e. thickens and takes more volume than the initial ingredients, and you feel very proud of yourself. You have the right to be :-)
5 - When to stop ? when you have enough sauce (in practice, when the bowl is reasonably full). You are allowed to massage your wrist then - and only then.
Can be kept +-24h in the fridge (not more : bacterias love egg yolk !), but much better when tasted fresh.
I don't have the text of the recipe with me, this is pure memory, hence feel free to check on the Web.
Perfect match aside cold roastbeef, cold fish (see ? the rest of the cod fillet of yesterday, plus fresh parsley, a few drops of lemon juice and a glass of dry white wine) or (ooooooh my !) cold lobster or crab. Don't spread it on the food, you sinners ! just dip the piece you're about to eat in the sauce.
Further hints :
- this sauce consists almost exclusively in oil, that's why you have to choose a good oil. Olive oil is a personal preference, sunflower oil works well too (but is, imho, less tasty). The egg yolk and the mustard are here only to launch the process. This means that making more sauce does not require more eggs or mustard, only a stronger wrist (and some luck).
- about luck : you may fail at your first attempts, mainly because your kitchen is too hot. There are tricks to recover from the disaster, I don't remember them now. But Google is your friend...