Pages: Previous 1 ... 6 7 8 ... 70 Next
Go Down

Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 110769 times)

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #90 on: May 09, 2016, 04:58:35 PM »
Quote from: Juniper on May 08, 2016, 02:27:43 PM
That reminds me of the new space themed restaurant that opened up. Too bad it's lacking in atmosphere.

Really? They just opened up one of those near my house and the place took off like a rocket.
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #91 on: May 09, 2016, 05:04:55 PM »
And we all know that an astronauts favorite candy is a Mars Bar!
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

Tr

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • Mostly lurking these days
  • Preferred pronouns: She/her
  • Posts: 955
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #92 on: May 09, 2016, 06:03:04 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 09, 2016, 05:04:55 PM
And we all know that an astronauts favorite candy is a Mars Bar!
But... BUT...  ;)
Logged
Avatar by the amazing and wonderful ginger ^-^ :chap11: :chap12: :chap13:
Fluent :usa:, Learning in school :spain:

Juniper

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • 달도 차면 기운다
  • Posts: 990
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #93 on: May 09, 2016, 10:36:39 PM »
I suppose while we're on the subject of space jokes I should mention the book on anti-gravity I was reading the other day, it was so good I just couldn't put it down.
Logged


Native: :usa:
I guess I'm pretty okay :france: :southkorea:
Learning: :finland: :arableague: :sign:

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #94 on: May 10, 2016, 02:32:17 AM »
Quote from: Juniper on May 09, 2016, 10:36:39 PM
I suppose while we're on the subject of space jokes I should mention the book on anti-gravity I was reading the other day, it was so good I just couldn't put it down.

Those kinds of books are just really stellar reads, aren't they?
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

Shine

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • I'm probably a person.
  • Posts: 862
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #95 on: May 10, 2016, 04:18:31 AM »
I think I may love this thread.
*Note in Italian it's not heads or tails but heads or crosses.

Jesus and John the Baptist are wandering in the desert.
"Cousin, I'm bored. Wanna play heads or crosses to pass the time?"
Logged
Native :italy:
Fluent :uk: :germany:
Want to learn :norway: :finland:

Survived:        :chap5::chap6::chap7::chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18:

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #96 on: May 10, 2016, 05:22:27 AM »
Quote from: Shine on May 10, 2016, 04:18:31 AM
I think I may love this thread.
*Note in Italian it's not heads or tails but heads or crosses.

Jesus and John the Baptist are wandering in the desert.
"Cousin, I'm bored. Wanna play heads or crosses to pass the time?"

I love it when my long-ago Sunday school learning is actually useful in every day life. Like when understanding a bad joke. That's definitely all kinds of useful.
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #97 on: May 13, 2016, 11:05:44 PM »
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Spoiler: show
Nothing. It just waved.
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

Shine

  • Ranger
  • ****
  • I'm probably a person.
  • Posts: 862
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #98 on: May 14, 2016, 01:04:03 AM »
Someone is serving on a famously foggy stretch of highway, which has recently been equipped with a new accident-prevention system.

"Hm, I wonder what they think will work here."

After a while he sees a series of signs, first a few with writing on them, then widely-spaced circles that seem to go along for the whole stretch:

1. If you can see one circle, the speed limit is 50.

2. If you can see two circles, the speed limit is 75.

3. If you can see three circles, the speed limit is 100.

Spoiler: show
4. If you can see four circles, you just rear-ended an Audi.
Logged
Native :italy:
Fluent :uk: :germany:
Want to learn :norway: :finland:

Survived:        :chap5::chap6::chap7::chap8::chap9::chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18:

ginger

  • Scout
  • ***
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 454
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #99 on: May 14, 2016, 10:29:38 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 13, 2016, 11:05:44 PM
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Spoiler: show
Nothing. It just waved.


Sea ya later!
Logged
:usa: :france:
Avatar courtesy of the impeccable mith!

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #100 on: May 14, 2016, 07:45:14 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 13, 2016, 11:05:44 PM
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Spoiler: show
Nothing. It just waved.


What did the grape say when it was stepped on by an elephant?

Spoiler: show
Nothing. It just let out a little whine.
Logged
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

Iceea

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 1592
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #101 on: May 16, 2016, 10:34:28 AM »

Quote from: urbicande on May 13, 2016, 11:05:44 PM

    What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

    Spoiler: hide
    Nothing. It just waved.


Quote from: Purple Wyrm on May 14, 2016, 07:45:14 PM
What did the grape say when it was stepped on by an elephant?

Spoiler: show
Nothing. It just let out a little whine.


It's a Monday morning, and I had a bad night's sleep. Whatever possessed me to read this thread, gahhh...
Logged
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: & :book2:

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it!
Robin Williams

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #102 on: May 17, 2016, 04:01:02 AM »
How many hombres does it take to change a light-bulb?

Spoiler: show
 Just Juan

(Some of the jokes that are told in my Spanish class deserve to be on this thread.)
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #103 on: May 17, 2016, 09:43:31 AM »
Quote from: OwlsG0 on May 17, 2016, 04:01:02 AM
How many hombres does it take to change a light-bulb?

Spoiler: show
 Just Juan

(Some of the jokes that are told in my Spanish class deserve to be on this thread.)


Why do you only need one egg to make an omelet in France?

Spoiler: show
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

Gwenno

  • Valkyrie
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *
    • Tumblr
    • DeviantArt
  • Be the change you wish to see
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 1241
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #104 on: May 17, 2016, 09:57:06 AM »
Quote from: urbicande on May 17, 2016, 09:43:31 AM
Why do you only need one egg to make an omelet in France?

Spoiler: show
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf

Pah! This is the only joke which has gotten a burst out laughing reaction from me so far. Kudos to you weird flying camera or whatever thing, kudos.....
Logged
You're a fool if you dance or not so you might as well dance

Fluent: :wls: :gb:
駄洒落だけ: :jp:
Working on it :nl:
Tourist level: :es: :fr: :it:

Chapter break survivor : :artd: :book1+: :book2: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14:
Soulcount: 10

proud member of the Sigrun Eide for God-Emperor of the Universe Society
Roleplay doc
Pages: Previous 1 ... 6 7 8 ... 70 Next
Go Up