I was posted to command the Chicken Outfit, once, to send a message to everybody that nobody gets away with bad stuff, no matter who they’re related to.
Now, you guys have to understand, Dalsnes has kind of a reputation in Norway, since we like putting our own spin on things instead of just doing it strictly by-the-book all the time. I mean, there’s a time for strict protocol, and there’s other times when you’ve just gotta wing it, y’know? Anyway, one of the things where we go our own way in Dalsnes is the Chicken Outfit.
The Chicken Outfit is where we send anybody that’s turned chicken—unless somebody outright died because of it: that’s when The Law steps in; but mostly our guys can get out of that kind of scrape without getting killed.
When you’re assigned to the Chicken Outfit, your ultimate aim is supposed to be to get out of it and back to your unit, and we have all sorts of things built into the Chicken Outfit to encourage that. Now, I know what all of you want to ask: how do I get out of this Chicken Outfit?
First, you have to earn the right not to wear the Chicken Outfit’s Chicken Outfit in the first place. So, to get out of the Chicken Outfit, you start by getting out of the Chicken Outfit. Now, if I were really pulling your chains, I’d try adding a third or even fourth level to that, but I have no clue how I’d pull it off, so you can rest assured I’m not. Not this time, anyway.
So, when you’re assigned to the Chicken Outfit, you’re issued a different uniform that is essentially a chicken costume, which you have to wear at all times, unless you’re bathing. Before you can go back to wearing a real uniform, you have to undergo a Trial of Bravery and not chicken out, while wearing the Chicken Outfit in the Chicken Outfit.
Anyway, once you’re out of the Chicken Outfit but in the Chicken Outfit, to get out of the Chicken Outfit, you need to stand not a few Outside Watches or take point on several raids, depending on what time of year it is. If you’re really unlucky, you could find yourself stuck in the Chicken Outfit all winter, which can get bad.
See, even when you’re… in normal uniform in the Chicken Outfit, you’re wearing a big ol’ insignia that everybody knows means you’re in the Chicken Outfit, which can make you a target for some people, though we have people on watchdog duty to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand. Unfortunately, we’ve had a few times that proved the wisdom of not letting anybody who actually caused somebody’s death into the Chicken Outfit, and that’s all I’ll say about that, thank you.
Now, commanding the Chicken Outfit is different from being in the Chicken Outfit; officers who turn chicken get busted back into the ranks and then dropped into the Chicken Outfit. But somebody has to lead an outfit, even the Chicken Outfit, and it’s considered a slap in the face to be that leader, but even there, I showed that I was the most best.
You see, the real purpose of the Chicken Outfit is to try to get the chicken out of them before it can do any harm, either to others or to themselves; that’s why we have the Trials and such set up like we do, so a young fool can’t get himself killed trying to get out.
Of course, some never get out, but we try to weed out that type before they ever get into a combat unit in the first place.
And speaking of weeding out, that reminds me of another story…