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Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139446 times)

urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #285 on: November 04, 2016, 02:05:06 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on November 04, 2016, 12:58:24 PM
I had to think about that one for quite a bit. So badddddddddddd

Note the thread title!
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Double H

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #286 on: November 04, 2016, 07:34:35 PM »
ahahaha the jokes today have been great!

I've got a really bad one I found the other day:

I had some sea food and now I'm eel.
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #287 on: November 05, 2016, 05:44:37 AM »
By popular acclaim (okay, I was dared to do it):

Apropos of the family tree release, someone said of Ensi's paramour Ukko-Pekka that it was also the nickname of a rifle, much like the one handed down to Lalli.
They helpfully included this link to a picture of said rifle.

My response was that Ensi wanted her kid to be a son of a gun.

Thank you, thank you, you're all beautiful... :-*
« Last Edit: November 05, 2016, 05:45:42 PM by wavewright62 »
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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #288 on: November 05, 2016, 08:55:29 AM »
Quote from: wavewright62 on November 05, 2016, 05:44:37 AM
By popular acclaim (okay, I was dared to do it):

Apropos of the family tree release, someone said of Ensi's paramour Ukko-Pekka that it was also the nickname of a rifle, much like the one handed down to Lalli.
They helpfully included this link to a picture of <a href="http://www.mosinnagant.net/finland/finnish_mosin_nagantm39.asp>said rifle.</a>

My response was that Ensi wanted her kid to be a son of a gun.

Thank you, thank you, you're all beautiful... :-*

Thank you. I definitely needed to see this
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #289 on: November 05, 2016, 03:56:59 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on November 04, 2016, 12:32:19 PM
I put my root beer into a square cup.  Now it's just beer.
I wonder, if you had owed that beer to someone else, would it have turned imaginary upon pouring it back out?
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wavewright62

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #290 on: November 05, 2016, 05:47:13 PM »
Quote from: JoB on November 05, 2016, 03:56:59 PM
I wonder, if you had owed that beer to someone else, would it have turned imaginary upon pouring it back out?
Just so long as you don't put it back in the fridge untouched, therefore dividing it by zero.
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OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #291 on: November 05, 2016, 11:34:53 PM »
What do you call a clown who greets everyone by flipping them the bird?

A rude jester
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #292 on: November 08, 2016, 01:05:12 PM »
A duck walks into a bar and orders a round of drinks.  The bartender asks, "How do you want to pay for that?"

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."
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Double H

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #293 on: November 09, 2016, 10:22:14 AM »
Yesterday a book fell on my head.

I've only got my shelf to blame.
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JoB

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #294 on: November 15, 2016, 05:27:07 PM »
Repeat offense from the Comfort Corner topic, blame urbicande for the repost:

Conductor: "Sir, as that sign over there states, if you aren't seated, you are required to hold onto one of the straps to prevent accidents."
Passenger: "And the sign next to it says 'wear SuperShaper bras' ... would you happen to wear such a thing, Sir?"
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VibratingText

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #295 on: November 16, 2016, 10:48:07 AM »
Stolen from 4chan:

I went to a movie-watching party. I'm generally introverted, and didn't talk to anyone - just watched the movies. The movie ends, people debate what to watch next. I decide to put in the movie I brought with me. Everyone likes it - it was a Jim Carrey movie, and one of his better ones. People start talking with me, and thanking me for bringing the movie.

No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #296 on: November 16, 2016, 11:34:40 AM »
One that I posted to my LiveJournal way back in March of 2008


People keep talking about soy latte.

Is "soy latte" what el conejo blanco says in "Alicia en El País de Las Maravillas"?
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urbicande

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #297 on: November 17, 2016, 10:45:33 AM »
Seen on Facebook today:

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.

Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, "This is clearly a joke from the set-up, but we are uncertain if it's funny or not"

Gödel replies, "We can't prove the joke is funny from within the joke using the axioms of the joke alone."

And Chomsky says, "Of course it's funny. You're just not telling it right."
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Anna

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #298 on: November 21, 2016, 03:02:00 PM »
If you put a picture of yourself in a locket, you could say that you're…
Independent.
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And remember what peace there may be in silence.

OwlsG0

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Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #299 on: November 22, 2016, 10:16:59 PM »
I walked across a huge parking garage today. I guess you could say I went through a lot.
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