Things Mikkel Madsen is Not Allowed to Do:

[Ana Nymus]

According to Google the only exact rhyme in English for 'orange' is 'sporange', which is a very rare alternative form of 'sporangium', which is apparently part of a fern.

They're these! Specifically the little blackish things.



Fun fact: the sporangia store the spores of the fern, which are roughly analogous to seeds in other plants. But instead of letting wind, animals, or gravity carry the spores off, the sporangia will arch back and catapult spores everywhere.

[Anna]

There's apparently also a hill in Wales called Blorenge (don't ask me how I know this, I just googled it to make sure I wasn't making it up) and also a hair dye trend called "blorange" that seems to be a variation on the "rose gold" that was popular last year. (Both are kind of a muted, warm pinkish color.)

[Purple Wyrm]

And before we move on to my own colour, "purple" rhymes with "curple" which means the hindquarters of a horse. I will let you make your own jokes 

[PickleChip]

Well, I guess you all are the best soldiers according to Mikkel!
And now we know a bunch of words to rhyme with orange!

[Róisín]

Purple also rhymes with 'hirple' or 'hurple', a border Scots/Northumbrian word which means to limp or lurch, especially in a grotesque or exaggerated manner. It turns up in one riddle I know which goes:

'Hurple purple hath a red girdle
A stone in his belly, a stick up his arse.
And yet hurple purple is never the worse.'

Can you guess the answer?

[Solokov]

No longer allowed to allow discussions to spiral out of control from things "I'm not allowed to do" into  discussions about "the curiosities of the English language and what odd words may or may not rhyme with" to keep from getting in trouble.

[Anna]

Any and all riddle contests must be conducted in languages spoken by the majority of those participating.

[OwlsG0]

Any and all riddle contests must be conducted in languages spoken by the majority of those participating.

I will not advocate for proportional representation in these contests
Proportional representation did not work for Weimar Germany and therefore will not work for us, and I will stop insisting on this
I am not allowed to suggest the 'TMMINATD' Board are fascists for refusing my suggestion of proportional representation
I will not start pro-democracy riots in the canteen

[Jharad17]

'Hurple purple hath a red girdle
A stone in his belly, a stick up his arse.
And yet hurple purple is never the worse.'

Can you guess the answer?

My only guess is a grape, but that doesn't make sense of the "red girdle" portion. So l'm at a loss.

[Róisín]

Close but not quite! I've heard two versions of the answer. In Scotland it's a ripe hawthorn berry, in the Borders and Northumbria it's a ripe sloe fruit (otherwise known as blackthorn). Both plants have a purplish-red fruit when ripe, and both are gnarly twisty little trees, especially in the winds of the Highlands, (hence the 'hurple'). The stick is the stem, the stone is the seed.

[Jharad17]

Close but not quite! I've heard two versions of the answer. In Scotland it's a ripe hawthorn berry, in the Borders and Northumbria it's a ripe sloe fruit (otherwise known as blackthorn). Both plants have a purplish-red fruit when ripe, and both are gnarly twisty little trees, especially in the winds of the Highlands, (hence the 'hurple'). The stick is the stem, the stone is the seed.

I figured the stick and stone bits were similar to that, and having never heard of he hawthorn berry or sloe fruit, I don't feel too bad for missing. But I've never been great shakes at riddles.

To get this back on topic:

When asked for advice on how to deal with trolls, "Don't eat the green ones, they're not ripe yet," is unacceptable. And not true.

[Róisín]

Nor may I allow new recruits to infer that it is therefore safe to eat the soft ones bursting with fluid, just because they smell 'ripe'.

[JoB]

According to Google the only exact rhyme in English for 'orange' is 'sporange', which is a very rare alternative form of 'sporangium', which is apparently part of a fern.

This starts to sound like the English language chose to almost invent new, single-use phonemes/pronunciation to name that one fruit. I like the Dutch approach of naming it sinaasappel (literally "Chinese apple") a lot better now.

(I wonder whether that would prompt Sigrun to call oranges "apples gone sour because they had to grow a winter coat", though?)

"curple" which means the hindquarters of a horse.

... muh? How did U and R come to swap their places (WRT croup(e)/Kruppe)?

obOnTopic:
Not allowed to cite rocket science as a reason to bring up discussions on horse's hindquarters again.

[Grade E cat]

I blame the art museum for that one:
My civilian clothes for several week long missions can no longer include my kilt.
If I do bring it, I am only allowed to wear it as a last resort.
Underwear is not optional in the above situation.

[Minutia_R]

I am not allowed to shove cookies into the scout's mouth.
Even if they are chocolate-chip cookies.
Chocolate will not "keep the Dementors away."
I will explain where I got chocolate chips.

I am supervising the recreation period of the non-immune civilian in quarantine, not "taking the mage for walkies."

I will not sing "The I Was Right Song" in the captain's hearing.
I will not sing "The I was Right Song" under any circumstances.
"My Heart Will Go On" is not an acceptable substitute.
I was never Denmark's representative in the Eurovision Song Contest.
No singing.  Ever.