Children's Answers on Christianity Tests
It is the priest who decides when one is buried. He sends some to a Retirement Home, and then he digs down all the spares. You can call God whatever you want. You can call him Christ, Festus or Lord-Jesus.
The wife of God is called Godmother. She is the mother of all his grandchildren; Moses, Jesus and Santa Claus.
(Thomas Andre, 7 years old)
God's real name is The General Practicing Ruler of Heaven and Earth. He decides everything, all the time. In the old days God was called 'reaper man'. God is relatively kind, but he doesn't like that thieves get to heaven without a reason.
Now there's an ozon hole in the sky, which means that God's floor is no longer sealed. This can be a problem. There's many people in heaven: all dead people are there, plus God, Jesus and the Bad Breath.
There's someone who has a holy llama. That is really a small camel. It is called Dalai-Llama. I think it's an angel.
If God had kept his promise to let all children come to him, we wouldn't need day care centers. The Bible consists for example of The Five Mousebooks and Marius' Gospel.
They write about many nice things there, and its about many funny people. For example they write about Pottimother, Pottifather and Pontius Leave Us.
You should listen to your mother nor matter what she says or what kind of voice she is using.
(Thomas Andre, 7 years)
When someone dies, they are put in the ground, and then the priest says: "Of earth you were made and there you shall be" And then he empties another bucket of dirt on you.
Elin, 4 years:
I don't want to be buried when I'm old, because I can't lie that long under the ground and breathe. And its gross to get that much dirt in your nose. Then its almost better to live in a retirement home.
Magne, 7 years:
If you die, then God turns you into dirt. Then you don't understand anything.
Mikkel, 7 years
In Africa they believe in Nilsen Mandela.
Hanne, 8 years:
God doesn't need to believe in anyone. He only needs to believe in himself.
Fredrik, 9 years:
A missionary is a man with a hat and a suitcase who reads the Bible through the door crack to people.
Ingrid Marie, 7 years:
One can be Saved or Wholly Saved, depending on how much you bother with it.
Hanne, 8 years:
When you got married in the old days, it was because the state said so and the priest thought it was for the best. Today you can get together with the one partner after another and the state doesn't even bother to do anything.
Turid, 7 years:
When you get married, you give each other a vow of silence. If you don't keep it, you get divorced, and then you have to share the lamps and the knives, and usually you can't agree who gets the children. The ones who can't agree, have to go to a stockbroker. He decides that one should have the children, and then the other gets a table extra.