Meowy Catmas
Or a story about Kitty and Dagny getting up to some shenanigans while Sigrun and Mikkel are gone containing an ungodly amount of cat puns.
It was not unusual for the humans to leave the house for long periods of time. And while Kitty sometimes longed for the days in the wild, there was something appealing about relaxing while curled up on the rug in front of the fireplace. So when the humans left once again, she was purr-fectly content to take a catnap on a couch pillow. However, Dagny had different ideas. Sigrun had brought back the tiny ball of energy sporting a Grade A collar one day, and he had proceeded to make Kitty’s life as difficult as possible ever since. He was a positively clawful nuisance. But she loved him anyway. However, when he was jumping on her while she was trying to sleep, it was easy to lose sight of that fact. She angrily swatted him away, giving him a warning nip on the ear. She didn’t want to play with him. He didn’t relent. However, after a minute of him batting her in the face, she decided to put herself out of her mew-sery and slowly opened one blue eye. Then the other. She stretched, causing Dagny to topple off the couch. She flicked her tail while yawning, which, as everyone knows, means “okay, I’m up, what do you want to do?” in cat language. Dagny led the way towards the kitchen. There was an open bag of cat treats on the counter.
“AT LAST!” yowled Dagny, most likely talking to the high countertop. “A MOST FUR-MIDABLE FOE! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!” He proceeded to try to jump onto said countertop. His attempts were fruitless, as he was much too tiny. Kitty gave a snort of disapproval. She leapt up onto the countertop in one jump.
“Amateur,” she scoffed. “Purr-haps you should leave the high climbing to me.” She batted the bag off the counter. “Mew are fur-tunate that I’m feline nice. It was a paw-sibility for me to keep them for meow-self.” Dagny rolled his eyes.
“Yes, yes, I know, you’re so claw-ver. Purr-haps you should stop congratulating yourself and get down here before I eat all of these. I already know that mew are a paw-some fur-end.” They feasted victoriously on the treats until they felt like their bellies would burst. Then Kitty finally took that nap she had been wanting to take, Dagny curled on top of her. The door creaked open; Sigrun and Mikkel walked inside, shaking snow from their hair.
“Aww, look at them,” Sigrun whispered. “They’ve been perfect angels.”
[center]~*~*~ A few days later ~*~*~[/center]
“Mikkel, where did you put the cat treats?”
Was this story an excuse to exercise my pun-writing muscle? Yes. And I regret nothing.
