Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 110988 times)

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4102
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #540 on: November 20, 2019, 06:43:26 AM »
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

IntensiTea

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 19
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #541 on: November 21, 2019, 03:56:05 AM »
Quite possibly my favorite of all time:

Two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff.
Ba-dum! Tssss!
My humblest apologies for my American-ness.

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #542 on: November 25, 2019, 05:43:24 PM »
What type of underwear packs a punch?

Spoiler: show
Boxer Briefs!

wavewright62

  • Valkyrie
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • *
    • Tumblr
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 4991
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #543 on: November 26, 2019, 10:50:03 PM »
Where would you go to hire a Russian cat?

Spoiler: show
The НЯ Department!


*eyes roll backward into skull*
Always a newbie at something
Native speaker: :us:
Acquired: :nz:
Grew up speaking but now very rusty: :ee:


Ruler of Queenstown Airport (Thanks Purple Wyrm, I will wear my wings with pride)
Admiral of the Sunken Rainbow Warrior

IntensiTea

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 19
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #544 on: November 30, 2019, 08:28:44 PM »
Here's one from middle school chem:

"What are you studying?"

"Aesthetic chemistry."

Spoiler: show
 "I've never heard of that. What's it like?"

"Pretty boron."
My humblest apologies for my American-ness.

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #545 on: December 01, 2019, 06:30:08 AM »
Back in the Neolithic period the hottest designer of stone circles in Scotland was Callan McAllan. From the Solway Firth to the Orkneys no village was complete until it had a circle designed and built by McAllan and his team.

One day a village in the islands decided they needed a circle, so they called in McAllan. He came in, surveyed the site and came up with a design that everyone agreed was brilliant. Then he presented his fee - 100 copper torcs.

The village couldn't afford this, but a local spoke up claiming he could erect the circle for half that cost. So McAllan left and the local got to work. True to his word he got the entire thing finished to McAllan's design before the winter solstice and collected his fee of 50 copper torcs, which he used to retire and build a longhouse.

So, from that day, when visitors came to the village and saw the very impressive stone circle they'd ask "Is that a Callan McAllan?" and the locals would reply "Well, it's certainly Callan-ish"

(I am so sorry :)))
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

Róisín

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Elder of the Ruined Realm
  • ********
  • Posts: 8636
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #546 on: December 01, 2019, 10:48:45 AM »
Grooooaaan! Wyrm, that is awfully funny, or funnily awful, or something! Appreciated, since most of my other recent conversations about Callanish have been sad or serious.
Avatar is courtesy of the amazing Haiz!

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #547 on: December 01, 2019, 06:18:31 PM »
Grooooaaan! Wyrm, that is awfully funny, or funnily awful, or something! Appreciated, since most of my other recent conversations about Callanish have been sad or serious.

Thank you! It just popped into my head when I was going to bed the other day and I realised there was only one place I could put it ;D
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

donthangdamien

  • Super-Newbie
  • Posts: 9
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #548 on: December 08, 2019, 06:50:28 PM »
I decided to read the ten latest puns in this thread to see if any would make me laugh...

I'm sorry to say no pun in ten did.
Native::canada:
Fluent::france:
Learning::germany: | :italy:
:A2chap05:

Róisín

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Elder of the Ruined Realm
  • ********
  • Posts: 8636
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #549 on: December 08, 2019, 08:56:08 PM »
Damien, grrroooaaannn! You should fit right in here!
Avatar is courtesy of the amazing Haiz!

Solokov

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Live life, start chaos.
  • Posts: 3121
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #550 on: December 09, 2019, 11:05:04 AM »
After being told to mix it up some,

A bar walks into a man, the bar says "Oops, I think we mixed this up."
I'm a writer too,
writing things for you,
Mostly 'pocylyse things though, check out my story from the start, Blog with the Blastwave.
A relay of the /k/ signal corps.

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #551 on: December 26, 2019, 06:41:44 PM »
What type of shoes do bears wear?

Spoiler: show
None, they go bearfoot!

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #552 on: January 05, 2020, 10:28:45 PM »
I recently threw out my vacuum cleaner, because it was just gathering dust!

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #553 on: January 05, 2020, 11:09:27 PM »
Anteaters rarely get sick because they’re full of anty bodies.
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

The Narcissistic mage

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Preferred pronouns: He Him
  • Posts: 15
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #554 on: January 20, 2020, 05:06:45 PM »
If a child refuses to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?