Pages: Previous 1 ... 24 25 26 ... 70 Next
Go Down

Author Topic: Bad jokes thread  (Read 139564 times)

Iceea

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 1592
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #360 on: May 06, 2017, 11:30:03 PM »
Quote from: Gwenno on April 29, 2017, 09:58:33 AM
Puns about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

 ;)

I just got this now, groan.......................................................
Logged
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: & :book2:

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it!
Robin Williams

Gwenno

  • Valkyrie
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *
    • Tumblr
    • DeviantArt
  • Be the change you wish to see
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her
  • Posts: 1241
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #361 on: May 07, 2017, 08:09:48 AM »
Quote from: Iceea on May 06, 2017, 11:30:03 PM
I just got this now, groan.......................................................

Hahah, it took me a while to get it too when I first saw it :P The delay just adds to how amazing/awful it is
Logged
You're a fool if you dance or not so you might as well dance

Fluent: :wls: :gb:
駄洒落だけ: :jp:
Working on it :nl:
Tourist level: :es: :fr: :it:

Chapter break survivor : :artd: :book1+: :book2: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14:
Soulcount: 10

proud member of the Sigrun Eide for God-Emperor of the Universe Society
Roleplay doc

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4117
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #362 on: May 07, 2017, 08:11:19 AM »
Quote from: wavewright62 on May 05, 2017, 11:20:07 PM
*hand thumping on the ground*  STAHHP!
No reason to start hostiliteas, mate ...
Logged
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

StellersJayC

  • Ranger
  • ****
    • Tumblr
  • Happy!
  • Posts: 685
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #363 on: May 12, 2017, 07:34:26 PM »
*Dad throws small ball at Brother*
Brother: Ow, that stung like a bee!
Dad: Oh? Let me see!
Me: Are you sure it's not a "D"?



EDIT (several days later):

Me: I'm not funny. I wish I was funny.
Mom: ...You're funny looking.
Me: Yeah, but I'm not trying for that, so it doesn't count.
« Last Edit: May 15, 2017, 04:16:28 AM by StellersJayC »
Logged

OwlsG0

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • I am occasionally scared by my own hair.
  • Preferred pronouns: She/She?/Human?/ Gender?
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #364 on: May 15, 2017, 07:34:17 PM »
My sister is responsible for the following affront to human wit:

Three guys are going out for some drinks. Two of the guys walk into a bar.

The third guy walks under it and calls an ambulance.
Logged
I saw the future.
We are not doomed, because our Cat overlords are benevolent leaders :3

:chap11: :book2:  :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16:

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #365 on: June 06, 2017, 08:30:34 AM »
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
Spoiler: show
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #366 on: June 06, 2017, 09:50:22 AM »
Quote from: Anna on June 06, 2017, 08:30:34 AM
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
Spoiler: show
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.


Boooooo!
Logged
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #367 on: June 06, 2017, 02:20:00 PM »
Quote from: Anna on June 06, 2017, 08:30:34 AM
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
Spoiler: show
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.


I'm tempted to flame you for that.
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4117
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #368 on: June 07, 2017, 03:51:58 PM »
Quote from: Anna on June 06, 2017, 08:30:34 AM
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
Spoiler: show
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.



Quote from: urbicande on June 06, 2017, 02:20:00 PM
I'm tempted to flame you for that.
Logged
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

urbicande

  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • --.- .-. .-.. ..--..
  • Preferred pronouns: he/him/his
  • Posts: 3755
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #369 on: July 07, 2017, 08:08:19 AM »
Seen on Facebook this morning:

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

Spoiler: show
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Logged
Keep an eye on me. I shimmer on horizons.

Survivor: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: / :book2:   :chap13:   :chap14:  :chap15: :chap16: / :book3:  :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20:  :chap21: / :book4:

:A2chap01:

Fluent:  :usa: :uk: :canada:
Basic conversation:  :france: :germany:
Learning: :sweden: :finland:
A couple of words:  :spain: :italy:

Iceea

  • Traveller on the Bird's Path
  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 1592
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #370 on: July 07, 2017, 12:31:13 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on July 07, 2017, 08:08:19 AM
Seen on Facebook this morning:

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

Spoiler: show
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.


oh, oh, oh, it took that many reads for it to sink in...
Logged
:usa: obviously :france: too many yrs ago
:chap5: :chap6: :chap7: :chap8: :chap9: :chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: & :book2:

You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it!
Robin Williams

JoB

  • Mage of the Great Restructuring
  • Admiral of a Sunken Ship
  • ******
  • Posts: 4117
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #371 on: July 07, 2017, 05:16:36 PM »
Quote from: Iceea on July 07, 2017, 12:31:13 PM
oh, oh, oh, it took that many reads for it to sink in...
Well, that's no wonder.
Spoiler: show
To get a proper read while sinking, they'ld need to paint it on rotated 90 degrees.
Logged
native: :de: secondary: :us: :fr:
:artd: :book1+: :book2: :book3: :book4: etc.
PGP Key 0xBEF02A15, Fingerprint C12C 53DC BB92 2FE5 9725  C1AE 5E0F F1AF BEF0 2A15

Noodles

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
    • Tumblr
  • *flops*
  • Preferred pronouns: they/them
  • Posts: 1664
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #372 on: July 07, 2017, 10:32:55 PM »
Quote from: urbicande on July 07, 2017, 08:08:19 AM
Seen on Facebook this morning:

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

Spoiler: show
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

pffffFFFFFFFFFFF  ;D ;D
Logged
I'll do art-swaps and beta-reads, PM me!
Native: :usa:
Can make a fool of myself, but comprehensibly: :france:
Write a little Sindarin (working on that)
Wish-list: ASL, :sweden:, :norway:
Chapter break survivor: :book2::book3::book4::A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:

Anna

  • Scout
  • ***
    • Tumblr
  • A majestic circle cat
  • Preferred pronouns: she/her/hers
  • Posts: 284
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #373 on: July 08, 2017, 02:05:55 AM »
Rules of the English Language:
  • Their our know rules
Logged
:chap10::chap11::chap12::chap13::chap14::chap15::chap16::chap17::chap18::chap19::chap20::chap21:
:A2chap01::A2chap02::A2chap03::A2chap04::A2chap05:
:book2::book3::book4:

And remember what peace there may be in silence.

Purple Wyrm

  • Ruler of a Derelict Airport
  • *****
  • The Bombay Sausage of 2018!
  • Preferred pronouns: He/Him/Dat Fing
  • Posts: 2436
Re: Bad jokes thread
« Reply #374 on: August 16, 2017, 12:08:07 AM »
What's a blue whale's favourite James Bond film?

Spoiler: show
License to Krill!
Logged
Native :australia:
Fluent :newzealand: :uk: :usa: :canada: (Yes, I realise that's cheating)
Might remember some in an emergency :italy:
Understands the concept, just not the specifics :vaticancity:

:chap10: :chap11: :chap12: :chap13: :chap14: :chap15: :chap16: :chap17: :chap18: :chap19: :chap20: :chap21:

:A2chap01: :A2chap02: :A2chap03: :A2chap04: :A2chap05:



⁂ Iron fisted ruler of Caversham Airfield ⁂ Sigrun isn't immune, t
Pages: Previous 1 ... 24 25 26 ... 70 Next
Go Up