*screams into the void*
*pat pat*
Fortunately, it's not quite a void, for here we all are.
I will not cry at work. I will not cry at work. I will not cry at work. I will not cry at work. I will not cry at work.
Oh wow. I should not have read that at work because now I just want to sit here and cry but I'm at work at my desk and I can't just start bawling. Right? Agh. I don't know if I can do this. Wow. I don't think I've ever been hit so hard by a character death in my life.
Same. Add: I will still get out the payroll, invoices, meeting catering, and submission updates I have on today without being a mess. I did do it, too (in between checking to the Disqus comments).
She's about to be a serious danger to everybody else in the group. She's not only protecting herself from becoming permanently trapped as a troll; she's protecting them from her trollself. It's a genuinely heroic action.
I remembered after posting last night that I'd been thinking earlier that, without the cattank, they'd have no way of dealing with a trollifying Tuuri. If the tank had still been functional, it might have been possible to lock her up in one part of it, or to tie her up, and in either case to haul her along without massively endangering the rest of them. But if they're walking? How would they possibly manage? The only thing I could think of was if they could keep her unconscious, either by dosing her with the serum (which I think produced a coma) or possibly if Mikkel's got medications that could accomplish that -- but whatever he's got must be a limited supply, and might be needed for some other emergency. And they don't actually have the serum, do they? They've only got information about it.
And as far as doing it suddenly: I don't suppose she knew exactly when she'd become dangerous. If she didn't tell the others, she'd be risking them all. If she did tell the others -- then what? Wouldn't one of them have had to kill her? Would Lalli have tried to keep her alive? Maybe she was envisioning Mikkel coming at her with a syringe full of whatever killed the mama cat and Lalli launching himself at Mikkel trying to stop it.
I do think she might have left Lalli a letter -- maybe tucked into her jacket. But again, I sometimes think the whole comic is about miscommunication. To have excellent communications suddenly appear at this point seems not entirely plausible.
ETA: Also, she had a pretty specific sign from her gods -- who, in that world, are unquestionably real. She says "I really thought [ . . . ] someone over there would be looking out for me." And she gets an answer: there's the swan. Someone over there is indeed looking out for her -- but that doesn't mean she's not going to die. It means they're ready and waiting to give her soul a ride to the next world. -- again, in the world of SSSS, that is real beyond question. Signs in this world that we're living in can't be trusted.
She would not have left any note. She didn't even sit down. No time elapsed between the sequence of checking out her neck, getting repulsed by the cat, fleeing Reynir, having a cryptic conversation with Lalli, and running off to the sea. At that point on the foreshore, she revealed the depth of her denial. I doubt she would have written a note in the time since her wounding to be found later, while still under the pall of that denial. She probably, however, has given *some* thought to what she would do if she manifested, so maybe her action wasn't quite as spontaneous as all that.
But yes, that point about the Swan looking out for her - I'm tearing up again, that's so lovely and true.
Also, Sectoboss' point about our identification with Tuuri - also so very true and well-stated. }hugs{
