General Discussion Thread

[Fimbulvarg]

We used to have sheep, but our shearer had a terrible accident

It's always "the incident" with you, isn't it? The Pan Incident. The Shear Incident. The Alien Abduction incident.

I'm not cut out for farm work.  I'm barely cut out for yard work.  I'll stick with my calipers and modeling software, I think.

I guess you are ... calibrated differently.

We don't cultivate any sort of crops (though we do have some plum trees and various berry bushes), so we don't need to spend the days digging dirt. There's always some yard work and other outdoors work to do though, especially logging. Big trees have to be sawn down, cleft and layered for drying, bushes have to be cut up into little pieces suitable as ground fill - It's all very time consuming.

[JoB]

Maybe JoB could give us some help on more proper conversational German?

(How did I manage to totally look past this part of the thread so far? Gotta have to do with the page break ...)

The only full phrase I know in German is (I'm about to be very unprofessional on my own forum), "I am full of piss water."

Uh, I'm afraid that I do draw a blank on that one, assuming that you're talking about an idiom. The closest connection between urine and bad mood that I know of is to have been pissed on ("angepißt sein"), but its popularity for that purpose doesn't really exceed that of bile ("da kommt mir die Galle hoch") or other bodily by-products ...

Moin moin alle zusammen!

(Note: Strong North German vibe here. Changing over "Tach zusammen" in the central regions to the Southerners' "grüß' Gott".)

Meine name ist Eich und ich bin hiergekommen für das Oktoberfest!

("... für das Oktoberfest hergekommen" in colloquial speech, "... wegen des Oktoberfests hierhergekommen" or "... hierhergekommen, um auf das Oktoberfest zu gehen" in proper grammar.)

Ich werde heute auf dem boden schlafen! Tut mir leid aber es ist abgemacht! Das wetter ist so lala, naja es geht!

German capitalizes all nouns, including "Boden" and "Wetter". I guess you mean "so abgemacht" (implying it's been agreed on beforehand, and IMHO actually a shorthand for the past tense "so abgemacht worden"). And if I were to carry the latter anywhere near a grammar review ??? , I'ld recommend putting another comma after "naja" ...

Bitte zeigen sie ihre karte am schnellsten!

Oh, are we racing for the free seats inside?

I could've sworn my name was German for "oak," not "calibration." 

Oak is "Eiche", but often losing the second E in compund nouns (like "Eichkatze" - literally "oak cat" - or (more common) "Eichhörnchen" for a squirrel). To calibrate is "eichen", after which procedure (Eichung) the official authority ("Eichamt") will adorn your equipment (e.g., gas pumps) with an "Eichmarke" (calibration mark), not an "(Eich)Siegel" (seal).

I don't have any documentation on that at hand, but I wouldn't be too surprised if the word stem connection betwen oaks, truthfulness, and authority were to go all the way back to the Germanic things taking place under sacred trees (with the prototypical tree of excellence in the back-then forests of what now is Germany being the oak).

Honestly though, "Calibration" is the most German name I've ever heard.

According to Hollywood, the most German name they can hand out is Dr. Bambi Baumberger (female researcher in an X-Files episode). Actual Germans routinely spew "Müller, Meier, Schulze" when asked for typical German (family) names. (Yes, it's become sort of an idiom similar to the English "Joe Random"/"Joe Sixpack", but not in actual documents, like the U.S. police uses "John Doe".)

[JoB]

As far as the choice of words, all I can say is that the M-word is what I recall everybody at SAP using about everybody else [...] I inspired a lot of kindly bafflement among my co-workers by actually striking up conversations with people to whom I was not connected on the org chart.

Sounds like a ton of corporate culture squeezing out the actual language standards. In general, a "Gespräch unter Kollegen" is something that may take place in a bar at midnight, while a "Mitarbeitergespräch" is where you get your review, or a call to order. (And two of my cow-orkers having a pugilism at some concert last week qualifies as "unkollegial", while the term "unmitarbeiterlich" plain doesn't exist.)

[JoB]

[...] irrigation maintenance (my favorite because you don't get a map of the water pipes, or where the buried pressure valves are, so you have to find them by listening, and fix them with whatever's in your spare parts bucket, in sync with the timer. I find it really fun ) electric fence building and maintenance [...]

[Tries to imagine OrigamiOwl find-by-touch-ing the electric fences to work around the failure of getting those properly mapped ]

Serious, of course those valves don't have the markup I see in German cities, but unless you have torrential rains every other week, the proverbial stick in the mud might help ... ?

[JoB]

Oh! Also! General Discussion: a bird has just laid an egg in my fireplace and it flew away and I don't know what to do with the egg.....

I don't see much hope for li'l-bird-to-be unless mom's willing to return to it. Even if you had chicken or an incubator, like, right now, to continue the brooding, it'ld need to be raised and taught after hatching unless it's a very precocial species ...

[Fimbulvarg]

(Note: Strong North German vibe here. Changing over "Tach zusammen" in the central regions to the Southerners' "grüß' Gott".)
("... für das Oktoberfest hergekommen" in colloquial speech, "... wegen des Oktoberfests hierhergekommen" or "... hierhergekommen, um auf das Oktoberfest zu gehen" in proper grammar.)

Well, sure, I suppose "Guten Tag" is the non-regional form? As for Moin I know it's some kind of Plattdeutsch-type greeting. I actually knew some Bavarians (or Bayers if you prefer) and funnily enough they used "Moin". I found it a lot funkier-sounding than the alternatives and it sounds a lot like an informal Norwegian "morn". Austrian Servus and Swiss Grüetzi sound funkier than a simple, neutral Guten Tag as well.

German capitalizes all nouns, including "Boden" and "Wetter".

Adding it to the list of things I've learned and should know but consistently forget.

Oh, are we racing for the free seats inside?

It wouldn't be stereotypical enough if there weren't someone demanding efficiency and Ordnung. A stereotypical German would want his line flowing like the Autobahn or the BMW production line, right?

Truthfully though, the most German name I can think of is Günther Müller.

[OrigamiOwl]

[Tries to imagine OrigamiOwl find-by-touch-ing the electric fences to work around the failure of getting those properly mapped ]

Serious, of course those valves don't have the markup I see in German cities, but unless you have torrential rains every other week, the proverbial stick in the mud might help ... ?

Hee, nuuu I have a pocket-sized voltmeter for that ;3

The stick idea would be good as a lot of the land has been de-treed by heavy machinery. Actually, I think I'll do that at next opportunity and see what the boss says the locations of the valves are pretty notoriously known, but only by a select few...and those select few aren't always there to fix them...

[OrigamiOwl]

It's always "the incident" with you, isn't it? The Pan Incident. The Shear Incident. The Alien Abduction incident.

No alien abduction yet ;P
But, just to add to the list~

The chicken incident
The missing person incident
The Olympian incident(s) (see also: the bolt cutters incident)
The Swedish lady incident
The bung incident
The German engineer's towel incident
The pumpkin pie incident
The bolt cutters incident
The sandpit incident
The ant nest incident
The French interview incident
The bus-wasp incident
The electric fence incident
The dentist incident
The student nurse incident

Oh gosh. Some of those sound shady hahaaa they're not I swear!

[JoB]

Well, sure, I suppose "Guten Tag" is the non-regional form?

Yes. I'ld say that you're more likely to hear it on the phone than face to face, though. (And it becomes "(ich wünsche Ihnen) einen schönen guten Tag" or even more stilted when things get truly formal.)

I actually knew some Bavarians (or Bayers if you prefer)

... I'll take "Bayern", thankyouverymuch ...

It wouldn't be stereotypical enough if there weren't someone demanding efficiency and Ordnung. A stereotypical German would want his line flowing like the Autobahn or the BMW production line, right?

Not with people standing in line, I'm afraid. "Queue here" without signs and barriers to encourage it is considered a very british thing here. (And you'll get to see the occasional "Lückenspringer" in a traffic jam on the Autobahn, too.)

Truthfully though, the most German name I can think of is Günther Müller.

Not bad! Actually the most frequent (male RL) name in Germany is Michael Müller, regional variations (Peter Müller's filling pages in the phone book of Cologne) notwithstanding. (Sidenote: Beware of the thought that combining the most frequent first and last names would necessarily result in the most frequent full name. If that were the case, the most frequent name for men on this planet would be "Mohammed Chang". )

[JoB]

The stick idea would be good as a lot of the land has been de-treed by heavy machinery. Actually, I think I'll do that at next opportunity and see what the boss says the locations of the valves are pretty notoriously known, but only by a select few...and those select few aren't always there to fix them...

[Imagines bosses' reaction to seeing OrigamiOwl suddenly "plant" dead branches into soil supposed to remain cleared]

... well, good luck with that.

[Eich]

Oak is "Eiche", but often losing the second E in compund nouns (like "Eichkatze" - literally "oak cat" - or (more common) "Eichhörnchen" for a squirrel). To calibrate is "eichen", after which procedure (Eichung) the official authority ("Eichamt") will adorn your equipment (e.g., gas pumps) with an "Eichmarke" (calibration mark), not an "(Eich)Siegel" (seal).

I don't have any documentation on that at hand, but I wouldn't be too surprised if the word stem connection betwen oaks, truthfulness, and authority were to go all the way back to the Germanic things taking place under sacred trees (with the prototypical tree of excellence in the back-then forests of what now is Germany being the oak).

Well, it's not even pronounced correctly anymore.  The name became Americanized (specifically, southernized) after a generation, and now the "ch" is soft, like in "chariot."  That's why I often use the username "Eichewawa," pronounced "Aye, Chihuahua."

No alien abduction yet ;P
But, just to add to the list~

The chicken incident
The missing person incident
The Olympian incident(s) (see also: the bolt cutters incident)
The Swedish lady incident
The bung incident
The German engineer's towel incident
The pumpkin pie incident
The bolt cutters incident
The sandpit incident
The ant nest incident
The French interview incident
The bus-wasp incident
The electric fence incident
The dentist incident
The student nurse incident

Oh gosh. Some of those sound shady hahaaa they're not I swear!

The Olympian and sandpit incidents sound... interesting.
Are there certain criteria for this list?  Do they have to take place within a certain area or time frame?

[StellersJayC]

No alien abduction yet ;P
But, just to add to the list~

The chicken incident
The missing person incident
The Olympian incident(s) (see also: the bolt cutters incident)
The Swedish lady incident
The bung incident
The German engineer's towel incident
The pumpkin pie incident
The bolt cutters incident
The sandpit incident
The ant nest incident
The French interview incident
The bus-wasp incident
The electric fence incident
The dentist incident
The student nurse incident

Oh gosh. Some of those sound shady hahaaa they're not I swear!

I must say that that is a very impressive list of incidents.

Oak is "Eiche", but often losing the second E in compund nouns (like "Eichkatze" - literally "oak cat" - or (more common) "Eichhörnchen" for a squirrel). To calibrate is "eichen", after which procedure (Eichung) the official authority ("Eichamt") will adorn your equipment (e.g., gas pumps) with an "Eichmarke" (calibration mark), not an "(Eich)Siegel" (seal).

I always wondered why a squirrel was called Einhörnchen. May I ask what the suffix "-chen" refers to? All nouns - as far as I know - with that ending are "das," like das Mädchen, das Einhörnchen, and das Kaninchen. I was wondering if there is any specific intent or purpose behind that or if it just happened. (If anyone even knows.)

[Fen Shen]

Aww, guys, I had to laugh so hard over the last pages, thank you for the great stuff! 
An "Einhörnchen" would be a small unicorn by the way 
The suffix "chen" makes most things smaller oder more cute (like said unicorn). But in the words you mentioned, it has lost this function and is just part of the word. And yes, I think all words ending on "chen" in singular form are neutral ("das"), but there is no logic behind word gender

[JoB]

I always wondered why a squirrel was called Einhörnchen.

Eichhörnchen. An "Einhörnchen" would be a small unicorn. (One colleague actually has a shirt reading and showing "Mühsam nähert sich das Einhörnchen" (the small unicorn laboriously approaches), poking fun at the idiom of "mühsam nährt sich das Eichhörnchen" (the squirrel finds it arduous to keep itself fed).)

May I ask what the suffix "-chen" refers to? All nouns - as far as I know - with that ending are "das," like das Mädchen, das Einhörnchen, and das Kaninchen. I was wondering if there is any specific intent or purpose behind that or if it just happened. (If anyone even knows.)

Under normal circumstances, "-chen" is a diminutive, and I'ld guess that the neuter case (as for a child, like in "Mädchen" = girl) just comes naturally with it; I wouldn't take an oath that nouns ending in "-chen" are necessarily neuter.

But I guess that I have to correct myself on the etymology of "Eichhörnchen" (and "Hörnchen" = Sciuridae, which is derived from it). I just read that relating it to "Eiche" is actually a "Volksetymologie", an explanation that's actually wrong but too good and convincing to get abolished. The actual root is "aig" (Indogermanic: to move violently) and a (quite meaningless) Old / Medium High German suffix "-orn" added after the fact.

[JoB]

there is no logic behind [German] word gender

As Mark Twain already remarked, yes.