so when i moved over to my new computer after my last one started giving its dying sounds, i moved anything important over to my google drive. so when i decided to start moving my google drive stuff on to my new computer and finally got around to checking the folder, i found stuff. stuff like screenshots of games i played, some other stuff, a crappy edit of aph Italy that i deemed important, and some emo grayscale pictures that i made when i was feeling down.
yup. read that again.
some emo grayscale pictures.
some emo grayscale pictures.there's only three of them, but when you look back at the diary i was keeping at the time, i was basically feeling like that all the dang time, they are basically unreadable because everything is grey, but i have the .xcf files saved for some reason, and they have such beauties like
"Nobody cares.
And it hurts.",
"I know what I'm thinking.
I think.",
and the greatest of the great,
"I'm not laughing.
I'm crying."like i wish i could upload them so you could all see them in their greatest grayscale glory, but i had to pull some major shenanigans just to access the forum and i still can't do much, accessing any page is something of a miracle, and im pretty sure i have an unread message. but whatever.
Point being, past me did not have her anything together. And now? Now i can draw and im writing and people like it and i have people i can talk and i have myself mostly figured out and im just. much happier. im happy and im doing something i want to do and m getting kinda good at it and i think i'm found a community of people i can mostly fit into and i feel great.
on the other hand, some of the screencaps i have saved are of roblox, and i would get back into the game if the community wasn't full of - to politely put it, butts, and my username has the word "girl" in it ( i don't really have a problem with it. but also. no.). but i've been playing since 2008, so i can't let all that go to waste, so i'll probably just give my account away to someone.
on the other other hand, some of the screen caps i have saved are of
a dark room, but the shenanigans i pulled to get to the forum aren't working to load that page. and i am sad. but not like super sad. just kinda disappointed.